Girl Talk (Anjali)

[Anjali Kedar]

Maybe to someone else it might come naturally, but to a weirdo like Anji she was certain it would be anything but natural.  It would be weird and awkward and uncomfortable.  "Whatever." She laughed, shaking her head at the way Chris teased her.  Why couldn't she be more like Chris?

The girl snorted.  "I call it like I see it." She was completely certain that Chris couldn't end up alone, a crazy old spinster.  She found it equally hard to believe that Chris hadn't been on a date in years.  Then again, she hadn't been on a real date ever.  "Okay, we need to stop focusing on my love life and start focusing on yours.  Seriously, you need a date." She nudged the girl back and leaned against the couch more, watching Chris intently.  How on earth could she not be dating someone? Maybe she just didn't have the time for it? Or maybe she just didn't want to date.  Anjali couldn't help the weird nagging feeling in the back of her mind; she wouldn't mind a date with Chris.  Just thinking about dating the other girl, however briefly, made her look away bashfully, hoping their conversation would shift and she wouldn't be forced to stammer through her own embarrassment.    

Of course luck was never on Anjali's side.

"You're appealing." She urged, feeling the heat in her cheeks.  Was she hitting on her? It occurred to Anjali it might seem that way, but was she actually doing that? They were friends.  She had a sort of date with someone else.  No, not a date, a hangout session that could include some dirty business. Not could.. would.  She had a hookup scheduled.  Nothing more.  Anjali nipped at the inside of her bottom lip and looked over at Chris again, her mouth suddenly feeling dry.  "So why don't you date?"

[Chris Rossi]

Chris just laughed along with Anji. It was easy to fluster her and just too much fun. She was so cute when she got embarrassed - especially about sex apparently. "I guess we'll find out, won't we," she teased with a wide, knowing grin.

However, she found herself flushing slightly as Anjali not only continued to insist that she was certainly not going to end up alone but that they needed to focus on her love life instead. "Oh, come on, no use beating a dead horse is there?" she asked with a chuckle. Perhaps she was exaggerating a little bit, but still - if nothing else it felt hopeless. Still, she was starting to understand how Anji had to be feeling - it was nervewracking to be put on the spot.

Still, she noticed the way that she suddenly turned bashful, and Chris had to wonder why or if she was just imagining things.

Her own blush turned darker - just enough to show on her tanned skin - as the younger girl insisted that she was in fact appealing. Was she saying that to be supportive or because its what she really thought?

"Oh, well, um," she stammered, trying to put an explanation into words. "Well, I've told you about Hope... So that was a big part of it but now... well..." She gave a small shrug as she tried to find the words. "I guess I'm just not most people's type," she said finally. "Most guys want someone more feminine and just see me as one of the guys and most girls well... I guess I don't meet many girls really. I mean, you're the first female friend I've had in... well, ever really." She knew it was unfair to speak so universally, but it still summed up her experience and she wasn't one to fret over such things.

"Plus I mean, I hadn't even considered it 'til lately anyway. Between the fallout with Hope and taking care of Winter and getting him back on his feet... I guess I just kept myself busy enough that I managed to avoid the possibility altogether." She laughed again as she ran her fingers through her hair. "I wouldn't even know where to start honestly. Dating has never really come easily to me anyway, and now it's been so long..."

Chris covered her face with her hands then, laughing once more. After a moment she dropped her hands to look at Anjali "Oh wow, do I sound pathetic. Bet you're sorry you asked," she said, though not unkindly. If there was one thing Chris was good at, it was laughing at herself.

"No wonder I'm single."

[Anjali Kedar]

"That horse is still breathing, and kicking it would be cruel." She taunted with a grin, glad the focus was off her, at least momentarily.  Chris's cheeks flushed gently and she couldn't help but grin some, feeling almost vindicated for putting her on the spot like that.  Not in a malicious way, but certainly amused.  It was nice to be on the delivering end of making someone a little bashful.  

Now it was the older girls turn to stammer and Anjali couldn't help but grin.  She listened to Chris talk about Hope and a strange twist made her stomach feel uneasy.  She knew things hadn't ended great with Chris and Hope, but she also suspected Chris still pined for her on some level.  Would they get back together if Hope walked into the picture? Anjali knew it wasn't logical, but she felt a twinge of jealousy at the thought.  Why should she be jealous of Chris's ex of all people?

Had she been a different person, maybe one with more dating experience, she might have consoled Chris.  She might have gone down the laundry list of things that made her a desirable partner, but Anjali didn't have the ability to jump over her own internal hurdles even for the benefit of someone else. You're probably more people's type than you realize. She consoled in her mind, fidgeting on the couch.  Most guys are stupid, especially if they're not interested in you.  And girls.. well, girls are stupid, too. She almost laughed at her own internal dialogue.  Girls could be stupid, but it wasn't like her to say those sorts of things, and she had enough to worry about without trying to hit on her friends. That was just, well, weird. 

The more Chris talked the more she wanted to say, and the harder her mind worked to shut her up.  If she opened her mouth and actually spoke she'd end up tripping over her own words and then things would get weird and awkward and Chris would end up looking at her like she was out of her mind or laughing at her.  Chris wouldn't be interested in someone like her, anyway.  And she had too much going on, she said so herself.  Anjali did her best to push the possibility from her mind.  She needed to be there for her friend, as a friend, and only as a friend.


"I'm not." She insisted, shaking her head.  "It's sort of nice to see someone all flustered about their love lives." She teased with a mischievous little grin.  "I think you should get out there.  I mean, the  Hope boat's sailed, yah know? I think more people than you realize would be interested." Like me, but I'm way too chicken to ever even consider asking you out.  Or anyone. oh my God I'm a loser.. "You're the full package, baby." There was humor in her voice and her words ended with a soft laugh which grew a little louder as she shook her head.  "I mean, don't guys usually want someone who will cheer for their favorite team with them?" She asked quirking a brow, "Though I could see the intimidation.  You'd probably punch them for cheering for the wrong team.."

[Chris Rossi]

"You're such an optimist," Chris said finally, shaking her head slightly, though she was smiling nonetheless. Generally, she was pretty optimistic as well, but she was a bit harder on herself than she was on anyone else.

Hope was still an odd subject for her. She'd been hung up on her for so long but... She wasn't sure how she felt anymore. Had she thought about calling her sometimes? Of course. She got lonely sometimes - especially seeing Winter and Avery so happy - and it was tempting. She knew Hope would be happy to hook up. After all, that was the one thing they had always been good at. The issue was that Chris wasn't good at keeping things to just one night. That was the thought that kept her from picking up the phone in those moments of weakness. She knew that she couldn't handle opening that door again.

Still, Anji was being awfully quiet - which was rather unusual really - and the way she was fidgeting on the couch... It had Chris wondering. Maybe she was coming to the wrong conclusion, but something was definitely up. Still, she hesitated to say anything, but in the end, she couldn't resist. "What's on your mind?" she asked, her voice a touch softer. After all, she knew Anjali well enough to know there was something. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" She made certain not to push or demand, but she still had to at least ask. "So, what aren't you saying?"

The tone lightened a bit as the topic shifted back towards teasing. "Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it," she replied, sticking her tongue out playfully. Chris was more than used to being teased between her elder brother and Winter after all. Still, her expression turned pensive as Anjali spoke of Hope. "Yeah, you're right. That ship sailed a long time ago. I probably really should move on finally..." Her eyes met the younger girl's. "That's true too. Sometimes it can be the people you see all the time and you just never realize they're hoping for something more... right?"

She laughed heartily though as she insisted that Chris was the full package. "Well, if you say so," she conceded. She couldn't fight back her laughter. "Yeah, probably. Sports are serious business after all," she said with a wink. She didn't really take them that seriously... for the most part at least. Still, it was all a part of who she was and she wasn't about to change that to please anybody.

[Anjali Kedar]

She laughed through her nose and rolled her eyes.  She wasn't an optimist! Well, she was.. she very much was an optimist, but in this case she didn't think her judgement was affected by said optimism.  Anjali shook her head and sighed; it wasn't worth hashing out.

Anjali fidgeted on the couch, searching for conversation now.  She had to say something to fill the void.  It was her strong suit; babbling about everything and nothing until a conversation sparker, but the words were failing.  Before she could think anything up, Chris noticed and pointed it out.  The Indian girls brows knit together gently as she looked at her friend, wondering if she was really that transparent.  Could Chris really tell that she was thinking about her? No, she had made no mention of that, but that didn't mean she didn't know somehow.  That would be awful, Anjali thought, nipping at the inside of her bottom lip. 

"I know." She agreed, even though she had no intentions of spilling to Chris.  Chris didn't need to know that she was a sucker for her. Chris didn't need to know anything!  "Nothing!" She insisted maybe a little too eagerly, pushing a wide smile on.  "Seriously, I'm just.. just thinking weird random Anjali thoughts that don't make any sense.  I'll let you know when they become coherent." She teased, pushing a more genuine smile, though anxiety was etched on her tan skin.

As Chris moved on with the conversation she couldn't help the way her heart continued to flutter some as she spoke.  Everything Chris said made her feel like maybe she was sensing something from Anjali.  Was she being obvious? She didn't think so, but she was a little slow when it came to that sort of thing.  Who knew..  "Er.. right." She agreed, that unsure smile still on her lips.  She wished she had the guts to speak up, now was the perfect time, but she still wasn't so sure of herself or how Chris felt and she didn't want to risk ruining the friendship.  She valued Chris too much as a friend and the last thing she wanted was to make things awkward for them.

"I don't see their appeal." She admitted, raising her hands in a partial shrug. "Buuut that's me." She bit her bottom lip a little.  "So are you free later to go to the animal shelter?" She asked, a devious smile slipping over her lips, "Cause if your plan is to be alone forever, you ought to start your collection of cats now.  We could get a pregnant one, like a crazy cat lady starter package."

[Chris Rossi]

Chris raised an eyebrow as the other girl insisted that she knew she could tell her anything and that there was nothing to tell. She didn't believe her though. Why she wasn't sure, but she had gotten pretty good at reading people over the years. Between dealing with Winter during his addict years and Hope with her cheating and all sorts of scheming people in the world of customer service... well, her internal lie detector was sharper than most.

"Okay, if you say so," she said after a long pause, hands in a gesture of surrender though her tone and expression hinted that she didn't entirely believe Anji.

Of course, she had no idea the effect her words were having on the younger girl. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was something there. But she didn't want to put her on the spot. Besides, she was interested in someone else, even if it wasn't going to be serious. Chris was just letting her ego and loneliness carry her away, obviously. She wasn't about to ruin a good friendship over some random narcissistic thought.

But what she couldn't shake was the question that she left behind. Was it a random thought or was it wishful thinking? Chris pushed that thought away for later.

So she focused on Anjali and laughing at her admission about sports and their appeal - or lack there of, and then even more at the idea of starting her cat collection already. "Oh god, I think Winter might kill me if I brought home a cat." Her expression sobered a little. "Might be better than being alone though. Like, I love Winter, and Avery. But seeing the two of them all the time. Well, it's not the easiest thing in the world sometimes. I want all of that, I just... I have no idea how to find it. You know?"

She ran her fingers through her hair as she sighed. "I don't want to be alone forever, obviously. It just feels like the most realistic option I guess." She gave a small smirk, but it looked more sad and resigned than anything.

"I'm sorry, why are we still talking about me again?"

[Anjali Kedar]

Anji could tell that Chris didn't exactly believe her, but she wasn't about to turn around and say that something was up after insisting the opposite.  She would ride it out because she was a wimp and she wasn't ready to give up yet.  Instead she pushed what she thought was a somewhat convincing smile on her face and averted her eyes quickly so as not to draw any more suspicion.  

She was glad when the conversation seemed to move on.  The last thing she wanted was some sort of probing from Chris and the awkwardness that would ensue.  There was no way she could get through questioning with any semblance of grace, so Chris being forgiving or oblivious, Anji didn't know which, was extremely relieving.

"Well, what you need is a litter, not just a single cat." She pointed out, pointing an actual finger at the other girl as she calmed herself and tried not to smile too much at the other girls reaction.  All too quickly the conversation shifted back to Chris's lack of a love life and she was sobered once more.  Chris' love life wasn't much different than her own.  Except Chris actually had experience where Anjali did not.

"It can't be easy living with a couple and watching them be all...shmoopy all the time." She smiled at her own little word, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, gazing at her friend over her knees.  Her chin was wedged between each kneecap as she considered what it would feel like to live with a couple.  Not fun..

"How is that even possibly a realistic option?" Her brows knit together and she gave the other girl an incredulous look.  "We're talking about you, because you're interesting and it's, like, way better than talking about me, who will sit here babbling like an idiot or clamming up like a bigger idiot.  Either way talking about me makes me an idiot." She countered, humor in her voice.  "I think maybe you're not looking hard enough." Anjali offered, letting her eyes dart down to her friend's lap so she wouldn't have to make eye contact.  "Actually, I don't think you're looking at all.. Like.. you can't be all I'll be alone forever when you're not even trying.  Or.. are you trying? Cause.. I mean I bet there's some girls who are totally into you already and you just don't know it.."

[Chris Rossi]

Just the thought of Winter coming home to find a horde of cats had her giggling. Being a crow-shifter, he had a rather significant dislike of felines. Of course, given their more sibling-like friendship, the idea of his shock and outrage was more than a little amusing. She wouldn't actually do it granted... but it was fun to think about.

"I think that might be a little extreme," she said finally as he laughter faded.

The vibe sobered a little as the topic grew more serious, though Anjali's word made her smile a little. The younger girl had such a lightheartedness to her... Chris really envied that about her. If anything, she was probably too serious. "No, you're right. I'm happy for them, and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them and having them around... They're not too bad with PDA or anything even, but there is still that connection between them. Even when it's subtle... I can see it, and I do want it..." She gave a shrug as her words fell off. Chris wasn't really the sort to talk about herself so it was a little weird for her still.

Chris just laughed as Anji asked how she was being remotely realistic. "I don't know, I wish I could see what you do... I mean, as far as I can tell I'm way more boring than interesting." Anji was the sort to always see the best in people. Of course, Chris was much the same, except when it came to herself.

"Besides, we're not talking about you because you're too shy to say much of anything," she said, playfully sticking her tongue out. She sighed softly though as the other girl said she wasn't looking hard enough - or even at all. "You're not wrong," she admitted. "I mean, it used to be that you just met people organically, you know? Like, everyone I've dated were just people I knew that became something more. I never had to like, specifically search out someone to date... and I mean, dating apps are just... terrifying honestly."

She just shook her head. "If there is anyone out there into me, I wish they'd just tell me. I mean, I swear, I need a blinking neon sign to figure that sort of thing out. So I just assume that no one looks at me that way, you know?"

[Anjali Kedar]

"Maybe a little.." She agreed, holding her hand up and pinching her fingers together to show that it would only be a little extreme.  Her smile brightened again before she tucked her hand back down, wrapping it back around her knees which were still pressed to her chest.  She wasn't even thinking about food anymore, far too distracted by the conversation at hand.

She could understand that desire to have a connection with someone else.  It was something she longed for herself in a relationship.  Or in general, really.  She had some friends she could sit and talk with, bond about stuff, but no one was as close as she suspected a girlfriend would be.  There was no one she offered her most intimate thoughts to.  except maybe her brother, but even then she had to leave a lot of stuff out, especially when it was sexual in nature because frankly Anjali found that just a little too weird.  Even if they were attracted to the same kind of people.  Though she knew they weren't.. Nik was into dumb girls because he was sort of an idiot himself and she knew he sought someone he was smarter than.  Not that she blamed him.. She preferred thinkers, intellectuals.. and though Chris didn't seem like a book worm, she was certainly clever and interesting and her lack of excitement seemed comforting to her considering how wound up she could become at times.  Chris, she knew, could balance her out.  And as a friend, she certainly already did.  Mostly.

"I wish you could see what I do, too." She felt her cheeks warm at her confession, averting her eyes once more since she was too bashful to keep eye contact whenever she said anything that might be considered flirty.  She couldn't help it.. she couldn't stand Chris knowing.  She just needed to get herself under control, that was all.  

"I'm not shy!" She huffed suddenly, though as soon as she said it she drew back a little, letting out a nervous laugh as she buried her nose down between her knees.  "Not very.." She added, her voice muffled bu the appendages in the way.  She peeked back up, only her dark eyes peering at the girl across from her over her kneecaps.  "What, you're not interested in hooking up with someone on tinder?" She teased, pulling her face away from her knees again, leaning back.  She herself had toyed with the idea, but she didn't want a random hookup and that was what that app seemed all about.  Random hookups.  Plus she'd read some seriously weird storied about Tinder encounters online.  

As Chris went on she felt her throat tighten; Was she talking directly to Anjali because she wanted her to ask her out, or was it coincidental and she had no idea.  Anjali couldn't ask anyone out! Especially someone she was friends with.  Like Chris..  She licked her lips and cleared her throat, looking down at her friends knees this time, averting her eyes completely as she absorbed her words.  Maybe she actually wasn't be obvious.. that was good.  That or Chris was as dense when it came to attraction as Anjali herself was.

"Well.. I.."  Anjali cleared her throat again and pressed her lips so tight together that they caved in, slowly slipping back out as she briefly looked into Chris's eyes.  "I'm sort of into you.." She admitted.  No sooner had the words left her lips, there was a knock on the door and Anjali jumped.  Dark brown eyes moved to the wooden passage and she got to her feet so fast she stumbled a little.  "Food's here!" She announced, so glad for the delivery guys timing.  She rushed to the door ad opened it, pulling money out of her pocket and paying the man what they owed.  She thanked him and brought the food to the counter, hoping Chris would let the conversation go now that they had supper to think about.  

"Oh my God, I'm so hungry.." She insisted, moving to the cabinets.  "Do you want to eat yours out of the carton with chopsticks like a heathen or do you want some plates and silverware? She called out, busying herself with getting out plates and forks and cups and anything to delay the inevitable.

[Chris Rossi]

Anjali's response, though quiet, did catch Chris's attention. For a moment she wondered if it meant something, but after a moment she brushed it off. After all, she had said similar things to Winter for years. It was just how you responded to a friend being hard on themselves basically. Surely that's how Anji meant it.

Still, she was cute when she got all bashful.

"Not usually," she conceded. After all, Anji was pretty bubbly and outgoing for the most part. "But when it comes to talking about yourself or personal things, you can be a total clam." Not that Chris was much better. She was just a bit more relaxed about things. The mention of Tinder had her face crinkling in disapproval though. "Nah. I mean, don't get me wrong. I definitely miss the sex sometimes, but I've never been good at random hookups. I mean, that's exactly how the whole mess with Hope started. I'm just not cut out to do casual," she concluded with a shrug. "I think it might be easier if I were, but no use in pretending I'm something that I'm not. I already did that for way too many years with Hope."

The other girl was quiet as she kept talking, but as she began to attempt words, Chris's attention was focused on her. Mostly, she was curious to hear her thoughts. Even if she didn't see it, she liked hearing what Anji thought of her, and she found she wanted to be that person that the younger girl saw.

For all her wondering, Chris never expected what came next. The admission that she was 'sort' of into her. She wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but it still positively stunned her. A knock at the door followed and Anjali jumped into motion in the blink of an eye. Probably a good thing because Chris was still processing her confession and barely even noticed the door or remembered the food.

For a long moment while her guest dealt with the delivery man, Chris just sat there, letting the other's words sink in. By the time Anjali spoke next, she still had no real idea what to make of it, except for the fact that her pulse was racing a little faster. "Um, I don't really care. I'll do whatever you are," she managed to respond, her words sounding a little dazed still. Really, food was the last thing on her mind at the moment.

"I... What did you mean you were 'sort of' into me, Anji?" she asked finally, her eyes looking over at her friend. "Because I mean... well... I might be sort of into that..." she added hoping to reassure her since she was obviously nervous, though she couldn't resist teasing her just a little in the process. "I just... I care about you as a friend so... I want to make sure we're both on the same page... you know, before anything happens... if it does I mean.... not to assume.... I should stop talking now," she concluded with a chuckle, feeling more flustered than she had in longer than she could remember.

[Anjali Kedar]

It seemed her little verbal blunder was quickly forgotten as Chris came up with an answer, completely ignoring what Anjali had said.  On the one hand she was more than a little relieved.  She wasn't sure she wanted to have that discussion.  Not now.. not when she hadn't meant for it to slip out of her mouth.. but on the other hand she was a little disappointed.  She'd hoped on some level that Chris would have shared her sentiment and smiled and celebrated this strange, but maybe exciting confession from a good friend who was just discovering herself.

What if she was disgusted, though? A lack of talking and brushign it off could make it awkward.  Really awkward.  What if Chris was repulsed at the ideal of Anjali being sort of into her? What if she was offended that she would use this opportunity, while talking about Hope and relationships, to try and weasel her way in? Was she trying to weasel her way in? Anjali knew she wasn't really, but Chris might not! What had she done?

Sweat moistened her forehead as she tried to act casual, sorting through her friends kitchen for forks and stuff to eat with because she was terrible with chopsticks and afraid to face her friend again.  What would she say? What if she said nothing and instead just silently hated her and judged her? Anjali would leave.  She could just eat and say she wasn't feeling good and bounce.  That seemed like a good option..

The stalling was getting ridiculous as Anjali meticulously wrapped the forks in paper towels since the napkins were nowhere to be seen.  Without notice Chris confronted her and she was pretty certain her heart stopped beating all together.  Dark, anxious eyes moved over to the other girl, her teeth nipping at the inside of her bottom lip as she very poorly attempted to keep her cool.


And then the unexpected happened.  Chris wasn't disgusted.. she wasn't upset or ignoring her or weirded out... well maybe weirded out, but certainly not angry or upset.  She was interested. Anjali's heart picked up again, going from zero to sixty in about two seconds flat.  She skeptically moved closer, bringing the food and the neatly wrapped paper towels and forks.  Anjali sat down again, keeping a decent distance between them, her eyes averted as her cheeks warmed, a smile just barely tugging the corner of her lip up.  She offered Chris her supper and took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

She laughed softly as the other girl finished up, as flustered as she herself had been only moments before.  "I don't want to screw our friendship up, either." She admitted finally, all signs of hunger vanished almost completely, even with the delicious, warm food in her lap.  "And.. neither of us are interested in just hook-ups and.. well, I mean I guess I am, but not with you! I mean.. well, I guess if you had wanted to but.. well, I know you don't so.."  She frowned at the way she was rambling, wishing she could just put a muzzle on herself.  "I guess I just meant that, yah know.. I was maybe on board if you were maybe on board, but like.. you know I'm an idiot about talking about this stuff. And most stuff."  She cleared her throat and chanced another peek up at the other girl, her heart fluttering like a butterfly now, deep in her belly.

"What do you mean by before anything happens?"

[Chris Rossi]

It didn't quite occur to Chris the effect her sudden silence might be having on her friend. Though, the entire issue was that her capability to think seemed to have disappeared entirely. After all, she hadn't remotely expected any of this.

But the more she thought about it, the more she saw the signs, subtle though they were.

Moreover though, stunned as she was, she was far from upset or disappointed. In fact, she felt a little giddy almost. Flattered of course, but excited too. Ever since she first met Anjali she had found her attractive and all her little quirks only made Chris adore her more. Of course they were friends but... well, Chris didn't doubt she could easily see her as more.

When she finally found the words to speak, it seemed obvious that Anjali was just as nervous and then stunned as she herself had been. At least they were both on the same page there. Now it was Chris's turn to fidget, wondering if perhaps she had said too much. But her babbling earned a laugh from the other woman's lips, so it couldn't have been too bad.

She began to laugh too as Anji began her own babbling. "I know what you mean," she assured her. Still, butterflies were going crazy in her stomach. "So basically if one of us is on board then the other one will be?" she asked, her voice sounding anything but confident. "I mean... I... I just don't want to say the wrong thing and make this forever awkward, you know? But..."

Her voice trailed off and her blush deepened as Anjali then questioned her. "Well, I mean... it's easy to get swept away with emotion and all that and I just..." She bit her lip. "I don't want to end up in this and get disappointed if you're not as in it as I am later..." She swallowed hard. That's what had happened with Hope after all.

"Would you... Do you want something to happen?" she managed to ask, barely able to meet Anji's eyes now. Still, she had to know the answer, hard as it was to give voice to the words.

[Anjali Kedar]

Anjali felt her nervous laughter die down a little as Chris continued.  If one was on board, they both were.. it seemed off, but it also sort of seemed right.  They both sort of seemed on board with the idea, but they were going about it all probably in the most awkward way humanly possible.  "I don't think you can make it anymore awkward than it already is." She teased, that nervous laugh back, an unsure glint in her eye, but she was excited.  Gods was she excited!

She understood Chris's hesitation.  They were friends first, and this could screw that up. She knew it could, but she also knew in a sense it already had.  If they let it go, if they forgot the conversation ever happened at all, it would still always be sitting there, the elephant in the room, this unspoken attraction between two friends that never went anywhere for fear of destroying the friendship.  Moving onward, no matter what they decided, it would never be the same.  She knew she would have regrets if she didn't see it through now.  She knew that it would always weigh on her mind, the what if's that were inevitable when you were too chicken shit to go through with what you had always wanted to.  

She was surprised that Chris was fearful that Anji wouldn't be in to it as much as she was.  Wasn't she the one that brought it up in the first place?  When Chris asked if she wanted something to happen her initial reaction was to blurt out a sharp, excited YES! But of course her lips didn't move, surprised her friend would even consider asking that.

"I'd be crazy not to want something to happen."  Her brows furrowed in bashfulness and she almost scowled down at her lap.  Anjali took a deep breath, trying to calm her frazzled nerves.  "How about this.." She looked up, having something of an idea on how to rectify this situation. "Like.. what if we it sort've trial style? Like we go on a date or something and.. I mean not think of it as us hanging out like friends.  If that makes sense.. Can we do that?"  Her nose wrinkled a little and her lips pursed to the side a bit.  

"I'm pretty sure I'm actually asking you out right now.. if that's okay.  Like, we don't need to let it get emotional yet, right? We can just.. I never dated?" Her brows rose and she gave a nervous laugh.  "I don't know how the heck this works, Chris!" She laughed covering her face with her hands, forgetting all about her food now.

[Chris Rossi]

Anjali's teasing helped break the nerves that had seized hold of Chris. Instead her hand covered her mouth even as she laughed. "You might have a point there," she agreed. Things were pretty awkward already. Not in a bad way really, just that they were both talking in circles and obviously anxious.

No, it definitely wasn't a bad feeling.

This was a complicated situation, but there was no doubting that they were both hoping for this to go a certain way. She wouldn't have said anything if that wasn't what was on her mind, right? Besides, too much had been said for it not to change things between them. Even if they were only friends, that tension would be there. The attraction always had been - on both sides it seemed - but it had never been given a voice until now. That made all the difference.

Given that their conversation had started about sex, it was hard not to wonder if maybe it was just curiosity on Anji's mind. But then there was what she had said about imagining herself with someone like Chris... Times like this she almost thought she'd give anything to be able to read minds if just so she'd know exactly how Anji was thinking.

But did it really matter? Even if it was experimentation, wouldn't Chris just end up regretting it if she didn't even try? That question at least she knew the answer to. Yes, she would.

Her shy smile widened as Anji insisted she'd have to be crazy to not want something to happen between them. That was reassuring if a bit surreal. Chris wasn't exactly the sort of person who attracted a lot of attention in that manner and as such she wasn't entirely sure how to respond. Still, she was more than fine with Anjali's solution.

She laughed as the younger girl concluded she had no idea what she was doing. "No, you're totally right. We should try doing something outside of a friend mindset and see how it goes. Besides, dating can be fun, and I'd hate for you to miss out on anything," she added, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Really though, it seemed the best way to handle the situation.

At this point, both of them had pretty much entirely forgotten about their food. "So, what would you want to do? For a date I mean. I mean, there's always dinner, but we could do something different if you'd rather. I'm really fine with pretty much anything," she said with a laugh, her hand rubbing the back of her neck.

[Anjali Kedar]

Anjali sucked her bottom lip in, a nervous little smile tugging the corners of her mouth upwards.  She wondered if she looked as bashful as she felt as Chris laughed at her, urging that they should go on a date so that Anjali wouldn't miss out on any of this experience.  She'd never really been on a date before.  Well, she had.  She had been on a handful of dates in her short little life, but none were with anyone she considered a true, possible mate.  Mate.. that was a good word for the people she dated as that was all they would be.  A mate, a person to breed with, a relationship based solely on biology and reproduction.  Sure, she would probably learn to care for him and there was a decent chance she could be happy, but she would never be truly, genuinely at her happiest with someone she was attracted to because deep in her heart she knew she could never love a man the way she could a woman.  She could never desire him in all the ways he would want and hope, but she would most certainly pretend for his sake, and for their children's.  

Anjali pushed those thoughts from her mind.  She didn't like thinking about the future she wasn't sure was inevitable.  She could enjoy her time with Chris now, but they were young.  They might not hit it off, and if it did what were the chances they would work out forever?  She had plenty of time to do what she wanted now and do what her family wanted later.  Or at least that's what she told herself as she sat across from one of her closest friends as they talked about going on an actual romantic date with each other, and not the type of dates friends go on. There would be no bars or dancing drunkenly in a small group like she might with friends.  No, this was something different.  This would be the date she had always looked forward to, and she wanted it to be nothing like the ones her potential "mates" had taken her on.

"Dinner is nice." She agreed with a sort of nod, tilting her head to the side as she contemplated it.  "But not just dinner.  Let's do something more fun first! Not a movie or anything cliche like that.  We could.."  Her lips pursed to the side and she looked thoughtfully at the ceiling as she pondered silently for a moment.  "Maybe mini golf!" She insisted, her eyes growing wider as a playful grin crept over her mouth.  "Or, umm.. I mean we could go more romantic and uhh.. hmm.." Anjali wrinkled her nose as she thought for a minute.  What was romantic? "OH! Uhh, we could hit up the Fairbanks Planetarium? I mean, that's not really romantic but like.. I dunno, educational and dark.  We could hold hands or something datey there, I don't know."  She gave a shy sort of smile, looking down at her lap again, pursing her lips once more.  "Got, I seriously suck at this dating thing, and like, we haven't even gone on an actual date."