You Don't Get This Abuse From A Goldfish [Open]

[Gunnar Frey]

“I PAY YOUR WAGE!”

Gunnar rubbed at his temples, staring down at the dark wood of the cash register in front of him. Wednesday's were usually so quiet in the store, especially in the evenings, but today had just been one continual stream of nonsense. If it wasn't one person trying to return open cans of dog food because they didn't like the smell, it was another person complaining that there were no cheap yellow fish to match the décor of their kitchen. Then there had been that man. That one that had an epic tantrum because the large feeder rats here were ten cents more than whatever place he normally got them from. He had demanded to see the manager and refused to accept that Gunnar was the owner because 'owners don't work at the front of the store'. It had taken every shred of patience Gunnar possessed to not beat him to death with a reptile rock, but somehow he had managed it.
Now there was just the side-effect to contend with..

“I PAY YOUR WAGE!”

Aware that someone was browsing around the back of the store and that no one else was working at the moment due to Chris calling in sick, Gunnar knew that he couldn't just abandon the desk for a moment to take the annoying bastard bird back upstairs. Why he had thought trying to teach Slender how to talk was a good idea, he would never know. The bird was far too clever for its own good and tended to soak things up like a sponge, especially things that were yelled multiple times right near him. Some of the things he came out with were cute or funny sometimes, but this? This Gunnar could do without.

After a few long moments the browsing person approached the desk, and Gunnar managed a small smile. “Hey. You find everything you nee-”
“I PAY YOUR WAGE!”
Gunnar winced at the loudly shrieked interruption, before indicating to the Black Palm Cockatoo with his thumb. “Tell you what? If you can get him saying something else, I'll knock twenty off your total.”

[Lani Hunter]

Lani rolled over grumbling. He pulled the blankets over his head but soon the familiar weight of a cat stepped on his head and the little pricks of paws paced over his arm. He shifted and before he knew it the blanket was moving and a pat tapped his nose. The telekinetic gave the cat, a tabby with blue eyes an annoyed look. Well, seeing as he was not going to be left alone he might as well get up. “You guys really do know breakfast time down to the minute,” he muttered propping himself up on his elbow to look at the clock. He sighed and dropped his head down on his pillow. Anyone who was ever worried about getting up by an alarm only needed to get cats. “Okay, okay, demons,” he said affectionately rolled out of bed heading to the kitchen his own little herd of cats following behind him. Bleary eyed, Lani grabbed the bag of cat food and filled the four bowls on the counter.

He looked down in time to see LJ bracing himself. “Eh!” He said sharply and put a foot in front of the cat’s face. He was not going to put up with the jumping on the counter any longer. He took the bowls and placed three on the ground and called LJ to the last he put down on the other side of the kitchen. If Odion ever wanted to baby sit, Lani would be only too glad for a break. He found himself smiling despite everything. Cats were good companions. At least these four. There was Shadow, the black one that kept mostly to himself save the few moments when he demanded all of the attention. Then there was LJ the gray monstrosity that was just about as much trouble as his namesake. Darshay, the mischievous tabby, finished out the siblings and followed Lani more like a dog than cat. Last, was Zoi, the adorable orange ball of fluff who had yet to figure out that Lani’s socks were not dastardly enemies from beyond. It appeared that they needed more food, there wouldn’t be enough come dinner. Grumbling, Lani shuffled his way back into his room and got himself ready for the morning run he had with Karalie.

A couple hours later Lani returned and threw himself into the shower. Cleaned and more awake he set to run his errands. It was getting warm, but not hot, so Lani pulled on a pair of jeans and a tee. On second thought he grabbed a light jacket and his wallet before heading out the door. His first stop was the pet store. Of course there were more options for cat food than Lani knew what to do with. He jumped the first time he heard the screech, it wasn’t hard to tell it was a bird but it was enough to make Lani’s heart skip a beat. Never being able to go through without looking at the cat toys, Lani found himself selecting a few while struggling to block out the bird. By the time Lani made it to the register he had cat food, a couple toys and a package of treats. He smiled at the clerk and shared in the wince. “Alright,” Lani said chuckling. He put down his purchases and approached the bird. “Hello?”

“I PAY YOUR WAGE!”

“That’s an interesting phrase,” Lani said glancing at the weary looking clerk. “Why did you teach him that?” He grinned, accepting the challenge wasn’t the fun part, this was. He turned back to the bird. “I pay my own wage.”

“I PAY YOUR WAGE!”

“Your bird’s got bricks for brains.” Lani said and leveled his gaze at the handsome bird. It was a beautiful, if not all that brilliant. “Bricks for brains.” He repeated wondering if the clerk was as entertained by this as he was. Certainly, Lani had never conversed with a bird before and he was starting to understand why.

[Gunnar Frey]

Gunnar had never kept birds before getting the store. He’d never had a problem with birds and had been okay with them from a distance, he’d just always preferred things with scales to those with feathers. That was still very much true, but he had gained a better understanding and appreciation for birds since founding The Ark. When the hand-reared black palm cockatoo had been brought in Gunnar had liked the majestic creature immediately but the customer based seemed to disagree, passing him over in favour of the more colourful macaws or lower-maintenance smaller birds. As the weeks ticked by Gunnar had become more and more attached to the bird, and had eventually decided to keep him as the store’s unofficial mascot.

On days like today, he truly regretted that decision.

“Believe me, I didn’t. He has a knack for picking up things that’re shouted near him, especially if the arse shouting keeps repeating themselves.” Gunnar knew that it wasn’t exactly professional to speak about bad customers in front of other customers like that, but he was long since past the point of caring about that. The bloke had been an arse, after all.

As the boy started talking to him Slender hopped along his perch, getting closer to the boy and eyeing him curiously. He’d always adored people, which was both a blessing and a curse. It made him a great interactive point because many people who came into the store seemed to enjoy chattering with him. However, it also meant that he tended to pick things up quicker than most other birds, which created the problem in hand. The cockatoo tilted his head curiously at the boy’s words before hopping up to hang on to the bars closest to him and shrieking “BREAKFAST!”

Gunnar rolled his eyes at the bird’s antics. “You’ve already had breakfast, bird-brain. And lunch.”

Slender didn’t seem to care about that, flapping and squawking for a moment before settling back down and returning to staring at the boy. “I PAY YOUR WAGE!”

[Lani Hunter]

Lani raised a brow, it seemed weariness was starting to get to the man behind the counter. He didn’t blame him, if he had to live with a bird that shouted all the time he’d probably be short with the person that taught them. “So it seems easy, pick a phrase you like, shout it a million times,” Lani suggested with an impish grin, “And when you’re finally sick of it the bird’ll pick it up.” The bird looked at him and he looked back at it. Birds had always caught his eyes but he’d never seen one like this. Sure crows and seagulls and song birds all lived around in the world around him but this bird was something different, something interesting. Lani wondered where this guy had gotten a bird like this. Maybe it was just Lani, but he always seemed to think on the darker side of things, he had no idea how rare this bird, but oh well, it wasn’t like he was going to turn him in even if it was.

The telekinetic laughed and pointed his thumb at the bird and grinned brightly at the owner. “He said something different.” In Lani’s mind that meant he won, and he was going to get a discount which was really good because that didn’t mean he had to swipe anything illegally. “Thanks, bird,” he said turning back to the bird who went back to his original calling. “You know, if you keep saying that people are going to get the wrong impression of you,” he informed the bird matter-of-factly. Leaning back against the counter, Lani gave the owner a look. “You look just about done in.” He said sympathetically, he had a perpetual headache and could well sympathize with something very persistently and loudly demanding attention.

“He’s a handsome bird though,” Lani added and leaned toward the bird a little. “What kind is it?” He couldn’t help it, he wiggled his finger at it and smiled. What must it be like to be a bird? A strange question like that entered Lani’s mind and as it was wont to do took over everything else. Being a bird would be great, Lani reasoned, there was no more freedom than that gained by flight. It brought back an old desire that had been pushed into the background of his mind from all of the things happening recently. He never did quite manage flight. He was sure he could, if he was really careful and didn’t stop trying. He looked at the birds wings as it flapped and had the sudden desire to fly. If only he had been able to do it, he had come close with Odion helping him but he didn’t think he was meant to fly. That didn’t mean that he was going to stop trying. He had more pressing matters to deal with. Like passing his power’s exam.

Lani glanced at the man again and then back at the bird. “Do you think he understands what he’s saying?” He wondered aloud. Did the bird have a sense of self or did it just repeat what it heard without any comprehension. Even Lani could repeat simple phrases in different languages without knowing what they meant. Granted that skill hadn’t helped him pass Spanish, but that was beside the point. Languages were Odion’s thing. Lani was into more of the universal language of equations and theories.

[Gunnar Frey]

One of the things that had really impressed Gunnar about the birds was their intelligence. He'd known for years that birds were smart, but it was only through interacting with them on a more frequent basis that he had come to realise to just what extent that intelligence stretched. Their ability to solve simple problems was constantly a fascination to him, and he went to greater and greater lengths to keep their cages full of interesting toys and puzzles to keep them occupied and content while they were waiting for new homes to go to. “If only it were that simple.” Gunnar gave a dry, humourless chuckle. “They're like kids. They pick up whatever you don't want and ignore everything else.”

'Breakfast' had always been Slender's favourite thing to yell, and Gunnar was not at all surprised when it made an appearance when speaking to the boy. Any chance to steal an extra piece of apricot or a sunflower seed. When the boy announced that the bird had indeed said something else, Gunnar gave a small shrug. “Fair enough, I guess.” As the boy spoke to the cockatoo, Slender squawked loudly and flapped, poking his beak through the cage, trying to see if any food was on offer. Gunnar obliged by giving him a small piece of dried apricot from the bowl on the desk, nodding slightly as the boy said he looked done in. “Just about. It's been a long day, and his voice ain't helping.” Hopefully the apricot would shut him up for a short while at least.

“He is, and he knows it.” Gunnar glanced over at Slender as the bird ate, the cockatoo holding the apricot with one foot while he picked at it with his giant beak. “He's a black palm cockatoo, or Goliath cockatoo, depending on who you ask.” The cockatoos had become Gunnar's favourite of the birds sold through the store, and though he did have a fondness for the umbrella and sulphur-crested varieties he had a special place in his heart for the black palms. “They're amazing birds, but too smart for their own good, I think. Or he is, at any rate.”

At the boys question, Gunnar pondered for a moment. “Uhhh... I think some things he understands. He definitely knows how to ask for food, and cuddles when he's in the mood for them. I think a lot of it is just repeating though. They seem to form attachments between certain words or short phrases and something good happening. Kinda like a dog I guess, 'sept they can learn how to ask for it vocally.” He gave Slender a look. “Sometimes very vocally. At length. Whether you want them to or not.”

[Lani Hunter]

Lani wasn’t sure he would agree with the intelligence of birds. He’d seen far too many slam headfirst into a window over and over again to think much else. Maybe they were intelligent, at least some of them could learn words. He had no real right to judge. Lani laughed and nodded his head. He could understand that. The man looked weary and well at the end of his patience with the bird. He gave the bird a conspiratorial look and mock whispered. “Whatever you do don’t start crying ‘Wolf!’” Lani grinned, partially because it was a joke and partially because he hoped that it would catch on and the bird would start shrieking that at random customers. He only hoped if it did, he would be there to see someone pick up something and drop it when the bird called.

A sympathetic smile crossed his face. He couldn’t exactly say that a bird cause his headache but he could speak for the annoyance of trying to do… well, anything with cats present. “I’m sorry,” Lani said, “Hopefully almost over?” He looked back at the bird feeling as though it were watching him. It cocked its head at him and hoped along the perch then squawked, “Breakfast!” Lani shook his head. “At least you never get lonely,” he offered, knowing full well that that wasn’t the least of the man’s worries. Lani would bet that working in a pet store never got boring or lonely. People with their pets, animals themselves. The bird seemed pleased by the offering of food that the cashier gave him. “Don’t you get a break or something?” Surely, there was more than one employee.

Nodding, Lani filed away the information for later. “Are all cockatoos this loud?” He asked with a raised brow. He doubted if that were true that anyone would be willing to have one. Lani would probably have lost all of his patience by now. Lani smiled, he could understand that. “Yeah, I know that. I’ve got… far too many cats,” he said with a short laugh, “And by God if they didn’t get into trouble just because of curiosity.” Thankfully, most of the time Lani was there to rescue the cats or whatever thing they were trying to demolish. It was a good thing that they stayed in his room when he wasn’t home where there was nothing breakable. At least not anymore. He laughed and decided to clue the cashier into the direction his thoughts had gone. “It’s probably like this guy, you tell him to shut it and he screams louder. You tell a cat ‘no’ and it will do everything in its power to do just that.”

“Kinda like how he associates ‘breakfast’ with food?” Lani asked and the bird chimed in calling for more “Breakfast!” The telekinetic pulled out his wallet and smiled at the man. “How much do I owe you?” He wasn’t really expecting the man to give him a discount. It wasn’t like it was his money he was using anyways. Looking at all of the things he’d gotten he had a feeling that none of them were going to last very long. New toys were exciting and got the most attention and from all four of the cats. No, they wouldn’t last long at all.