The Crack Thread of Westmarch (Hammel as LotR)
Feb 15, 2011 0:49:06 GMT -5
Post by Joshua Bernstein on Feb 15, 2011 0:49:06 GMT -5
So Kayla and I are huge dorks and had a lengthy conversation wherein we attempted to compare Hammel to LotR. We thought we would share because clearly everyone should care.
Dryope::
Faramir/Eowyn = ROMANTIC
Kayla:
AHAHA YES
Dryope:
and everyone knows that Faramir is way more relate-able than Mr. Dark and Broodingly Mysterious and High and Mighty Because of Lineage and Destiny who is really Gondor's king
Kayla:
It's true. I vastly prefer Faramir to Aragorn. Aragorn's like Middle Earth's Bruce Wayne
Dryope:
I was gonna say Aragorn is Middle Earth's Sean, only with a more successful love life
but Bruce Wayne works, too
Kayla:
HAHAHAHA thank you for making Aragorn that much more hilarious
Dryope:
except then I ruined that image for myself
by imagining Josh as Arwen
Kayla:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Quick, Jake, we need to watch LoTR RIGHT NOW
Dryope:
....and if Josh is Arwen
that makes Mama B Galadriel *note that Dry was being dumb, Galadriel is Arwen's grandmother. Duh
Kayla:
ROFL *dies* OHGODWHAAAT
this is like the crackiest thing in the whole universe
Dryope:
so Riley and Cobalt are Elladan and Elrohir
since they are Josh's bros
Kayla:
YES YES YES
AHAHAHA
Dryope:
this analogy is quickly going downhill
Kayla:
wait who's Elrond? Josh's anonymous senile father? D:
Nooooooooooooooo but Elrond is my favorite character
Dryope:
ummm Elrond is
Claude
Kayla:
okay sounds good
Dryope:
>.>
Kayla:
I suppose >.>
Dryope:
the head of the institute
I mean
counsel
Kayla:
true true xD hahaha
Dryope:
Chase is Boromir because of his SMART VIGILANTE WAYS
Kayla:
AHAHAHA YES
I love this conversation
wait...............who is James? >.>
Dryope:
uhhhhh Legolas for his keen sight?
Kayla:
oh that works
welll...kinda
if you don't think about it too hard
Dryope:
YEAH SO I never thought I would see the day when I inadvertently supported Boromir/Legolas
Kayla:
YEAH WELL >.>
Dryope:
yeah don't think about ANY of this too hard
Kayla:
haha good idea xP
um um ummm can Elaine be Rosie Cotton?
:3
Dryope:
YAY
yes
Kayla:
^^
Dryope:
because Rosie and Elaine are both amaziiiiiing
Kayla:
yeeessssssss
Dryope:
Leila is Eowyn
Kayla:
YESSSSSSS
excellent
Dryope:
the currently absent Terrence is Faramir
Kayla:
sounds good!
Dryope:
oddly that DOES parallel their relationship somewhat
Kayla:
.....actually it does. WHOA
THAT'S SO CUTE
JEAN. PIPPEN.
Dryope:
YEEEEEES XD
Kayla:
eheeehee
Dryope:
does that make Ginny Merry? =p
Kayla:
that's what I was going to suggest XD
Dryope:
Ginny is excited to be questing
Kayla:
unfortunately, I don't think Mia can be a Hobbit, because she's too scary to be Frodo or Sam
Dryope:
not so much about her dad being there
Mia is umm
Kayla:
hehehe well you know XD
Dryope:
Lobelia
Kayla:
AHAHAHA that's terrible
Dryope:
she can hit bad guys with her umbrella
Kayla:
*snerk*
Dryope:
HEY Lobelia stood up to the brigands
Kayla:
TRUE
Dryope:
she won serious cool points for that
Kayla:
that was pretty badass
Dryope:
she redeemed herself
Kayla:
I agree. That is true
Dryope:
also, Mia would steal silverware from people if she were a hobbit
Kayla:
HAHA that is so true
someone should tell her that >.> lol
Dryope:
Gabe is Sauron, Jake is his mouth. Frighteningly I think that may make Morgy Denethor of all people
or maybe Jake is Grima and Morgy is Theoden
Kayla:
D: that is so sad
Dryope:
since he'll come to his senses
Kayla:
I prefer the Grima/Theoden option
..........wait
I think that is the first time I ever typed that
ever
Dryope:
this attempt at matching Hammel to LotR is resulting in some frightening ships
it is true
Kayla:
but if Gabe were Sauron, I think the Twins could collectively be the Witch King. Or all MSAD could be the Black Riders
Dryope:
YES
Kayla:
which gives me a hilarious mental image
Levi would be the tiniest Black Rider ever
Dryope:
there is a part of me that wants to transcribe this and post it on Hammel
Kayla:
Me too >.>
Dryope:
it can be a really LONG entry to the YKYOHW thread
ok, so who is Gandalf? Dalton?
Kayla:
if it wasn't so omniscient, I would say that it would be Estelle and Ginny's conversation
Dryope:
yeah, they can't know this much. ALAS
Ginny knows nothing about MSAD
Kayla:
uhhhh hmmm. If Sean weren't Aragorn, I'd say he was Gandalf. But Dalton works.
yeah. and estelle knows even less
Dryope:
Sean is Aragorn AND Gandalf because he is THAT BAD ASS
Kayla:
*snerk* Cobalt ROLLS HIS EYES AT THAT
Dryope:
as he should, as he shoujld
umm should
no j
Kayla:
lolol
Dryope:
so Sean could be Gandalf and Dalton Aragorn?
idk
Kayla:
no, I think it works far better to have Sean as Aragorn
because of the angst and stuff
sorry Sean
Dryope:
but he gets to own a kingdom!
Kayla:
Sean totes owns Hammel >.> Even if he doesn't really know it
Dryope:
He does, it's true
Kayla:
xD
Dryope:
so we still need Sam and Frodo
and Saruman
Kayla:
Paulo could be Saruman, I guess >.>
Dryope:
because he's sort of part of MSAD but really a mercenary?
Kayla:
yeah, and he looks out for himself above everything else
AND HE SCARES ME D: Goddammit Paulo
Dryope:
AND he can manipulate Jake-Grima and Morgy-Theoden >____<
Kayla:
I thought about this, yes
:C
the thought of Morgan as Theoden cracks me up
OHGOD UNTIL HE DIES D: It's like Morgan getting hurt in the fight
Dryope:
Morgy and his daughter Leila
Kayla:
AHAHAHAHA wait XDDD
everything's all screwy aaahhh xD
Dryope:
aw poor Morgy :< Levi-wraith is after himm
Kayla:
haaaaaaaaaaa that would be scary but instead it is SO CUTE
sorry Levi
Dryope:
AH GIMLI
we don't have a Gimli
Kayla:
OHNOES. We must have a gimi
*gimli
Dryope:
who is a courtly gentleman we can assign that role >.>
Miles?
Kayla:
Jake says Cobalt >.<;;;;
HE IS DUMB
Dryope:
NO JAKE COBALT IS NOT GENTLEMANLY ENOUGH TO BE GIMLI
come on, can you see Cobalt charming Galadriel?
Kayla:
.......HEY
xP 02/14/2011
Dryope:
besides, Cobalt is one of Elrond's sons >_>
Kayla:
ahahahahahaha it'd be more stammering and awkward politeness, really
*snerk*
true. that does kind of work
and Josh is his sister. Yup. That makes sense
Dryope:
pffffffft except that Arwen is way classier than Josh will ever hope to be
Kayla:
hahahahahahaha you are TERRIBLE
Dryope:
unless that's why she didn't get many speaking parts
because really she was always railing about politics
which was embarrassing for her family seeing as they were rulers of everywhere
Kayla:
HEEE omg thank you. Arwen has just become more bearable
Dryope:
and after Aragorn displaced his stewards
she spent all her time bitching to him about how he ought to run things
Kayla:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I now may ship them a little bit more now
Dryope:
Arwen campaigns for a free Athelas garden for everyone
Kayla:
ROFL. Oh josh. <3
Dryope:
but back to the task at hand: Frodo and Sam
Kayla:
yes. HM.
Dryope:
a part of me wants to say Eli and Mii
Kayla:
AWWWWWWWWWW--and the Ring is... wait. uh.
NEVER MIND
Dryope:
because of the BFFs who everyone ships together because they don't understand their relationship
Kayla:
this is a good point
Dryope:
the ring is Vincent
Kayla:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES YES YES
Dryope:
and Sammy is Mt. Orodruin ;3
Kayla:
HEEE this is genius. You are a genius
Dryope:
is this more or less genius than Hammel as Peter Pan?
Kayla:
HMMMMM maybe a little more XD Even though Hammel as Peter Pan had Ben as Tinkerbell
Dryope:
I am still fond of Hook!Cobalt and Croc!Sean
Kayla:
that was particularly clever, yes XDDD
BUT. If Sean is Aragorn and Cobalt is Elladan/Elrohir, that means that...Cobalt knew Sean when he was a...baby? Right? Yeah. Soooo...actually that's kind of strange XD
Dryope:
the Hammel/LotR parallels only work if you don't think too hard about them >.>
Kayla:
yeeaaaah true
Dryope:
and Cobalt thought bby!Sean was too high maintenance?
Kayla:
*SNERK* oh-ho that is funny
SO FUNNY
Dryope:
or maybe bby!Sean was already wise and omnipotent
Kayla:
ohgod what a pain xD
Dryope:
and it vexed Cobalt that some mortal kid knew more than him
Kayla:
heeeeeeeeeeeee this is better than half the fanfictions out there.
--lengthy discourse on how seriously we take Tolkien--
Dryope:
this is what I get for being PICKY
unless Hammel is involved, then apparently crackverse is totally acceptable
Kayla:
haahahahaha well of course. xD Such is the power of Hammel
Dryope::
Faramir/Eowyn = ROMANTIC
Kayla:
AHAHA YES
Dryope:
and everyone knows that Faramir is way more relate-able than Mr. Dark and Broodingly Mysterious and High and Mighty Because of Lineage and Destiny who is really Gondor's king
Kayla:
It's true. I vastly prefer Faramir to Aragorn. Aragorn's like Middle Earth's Bruce Wayne
Dryope:
I was gonna say Aragorn is Middle Earth's Sean, only with a more successful love life
but Bruce Wayne works, too
Kayla:
HAHAHAHA thank you for making Aragorn that much more hilarious
Dryope:
except then I ruined that image for myself
by imagining Josh as Arwen
Kayla:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Quick, Jake, we need to watch LoTR RIGHT NOW
Dryope:
....and if Josh is Arwen
that makes Mama B Galadriel *note that Dry was being dumb, Galadriel is Arwen's grandmother. Duh
Kayla:
ROFL *dies* OHGODWHAAAT
this is like the crackiest thing in the whole universe
Dryope:
so Riley and Cobalt are Elladan and Elrohir
since they are Josh's bros
Kayla:
YES YES YES
AHAHAHA
Dryope:
this analogy is quickly going downhill
Kayla:
wait who's Elrond? Josh's anonymous senile father? D:
Nooooooooooooooo but Elrond is my favorite character
Dryope:
ummm Elrond is
Claude
Kayla:
okay sounds good
Dryope:
>.>
Kayla:
I suppose >.>
Dryope:
the head of the institute
I mean
counsel
Kayla:
true true xD hahaha
Dryope:
Chase is Boromir because of his SMART VIGILANTE WAYS
Kayla:
AHAHAHA YES
I love this conversation
wait...............who is James? >.>
Dryope:
uhhhhh Legolas for his keen sight?
Kayla:
oh that works
welll...kinda
if you don't think about it too hard
Dryope:
YEAH SO I never thought I would see the day when I inadvertently supported Boromir/Legolas
Kayla:
YEAH WELL >.>
Dryope:
yeah don't think about ANY of this too hard
Kayla:
haha good idea xP
um um ummm can Elaine be Rosie Cotton?
:3
Dryope:
YAY
yes
Kayla:
^^
Dryope:
because Rosie and Elaine are both amaziiiiiing
Kayla:
yeeessssssss
Dryope:
Leila is Eowyn
Kayla:
YESSSSSSS
excellent
Dryope:
the currently absent Terrence is Faramir
Kayla:
sounds good!
Dryope:
oddly that DOES parallel their relationship somewhat
Kayla:
.....actually it does. WHOA
THAT'S SO CUTE
JEAN. PIPPEN.
Dryope:
YEEEEEES XD
Kayla:
eheeehee
Dryope:
does that make Ginny Merry? =p
Kayla:
that's what I was going to suggest XD
Dryope:
Ginny is excited to be questing
Kayla:
unfortunately, I don't think Mia can be a Hobbit, because she's too scary to be Frodo or Sam
Dryope:
not so much about her dad being there
Mia is umm
Kayla:
hehehe well you know XD
Dryope:
Lobelia
Kayla:
AHAHAHA that's terrible
Dryope:
she can hit bad guys with her umbrella
Kayla:
*snerk*
Dryope:
HEY Lobelia stood up to the brigands
Kayla:
TRUE
Dryope:
she won serious cool points for that
Kayla:
that was pretty badass
Dryope:
she redeemed herself
Kayla:
I agree. That is true
Dryope:
also, Mia would steal silverware from people if she were a hobbit
Kayla:
HAHA that is so true
someone should tell her that >.> lol
Dryope:
Gabe is Sauron, Jake is his mouth. Frighteningly I think that may make Morgy Denethor of all people
or maybe Jake is Grima and Morgy is Theoden
Kayla:
D: that is so sad
Dryope:
since he'll come to his senses
Kayla:
I prefer the Grima/Theoden option
..........wait
I think that is the first time I ever typed that
ever
Dryope:
this attempt at matching Hammel to LotR is resulting in some frightening ships
it is true
Kayla:
but if Gabe were Sauron, I think the Twins could collectively be the Witch King. Or all MSAD could be the Black Riders
Dryope:
YES
Kayla:
which gives me a hilarious mental image
Levi would be the tiniest Black Rider ever
Dryope:
there is a part of me that wants to transcribe this and post it on Hammel
Kayla:
Me too >.>
Dryope:
it can be a really LONG entry to the YKYOHW thread
ok, so who is Gandalf? Dalton?
Kayla:
if it wasn't so omniscient, I would say that it would be Estelle and Ginny's conversation
Dryope:
yeah, they can't know this much. ALAS
Ginny knows nothing about MSAD
Kayla:
uhhhh hmmm. If Sean weren't Aragorn, I'd say he was Gandalf. But Dalton works.
yeah. and estelle knows even less
Dryope:
Sean is Aragorn AND Gandalf because he is THAT BAD ASS
Kayla:
*snerk* Cobalt ROLLS HIS EYES AT THAT
Dryope:
as he should, as he shoujld
umm should
no j
Kayla:
lolol
Dryope:
so Sean could be Gandalf and Dalton Aragorn?
idk
Kayla:
no, I think it works far better to have Sean as Aragorn
because of the angst and stuff
sorry Sean
Dryope:
but he gets to own a kingdom!
Kayla:
Sean totes owns Hammel >.> Even if he doesn't really know it
Dryope:
He does, it's true
Kayla:
xD
Dryope:
so we still need Sam and Frodo
and Saruman
Kayla:
Paulo could be Saruman, I guess >.>
Dryope:
because he's sort of part of MSAD but really a mercenary?
Kayla:
yeah, and he looks out for himself above everything else
AND HE SCARES ME D: Goddammit Paulo
Dryope:
AND he can manipulate Jake-Grima and Morgy-Theoden >____<
Kayla:
I thought about this, yes
:C
the thought of Morgan as Theoden cracks me up
OHGOD UNTIL HE DIES D: It's like Morgan getting hurt in the fight
Dryope:
Morgy and his daughter Leila
Kayla:
AHAHAHAHA wait XDDD
everything's all screwy aaahhh xD
Dryope:
aw poor Morgy :< Levi-wraith is after himm
Kayla:
haaaaaaaaaaa that would be scary but instead it is SO CUTE
sorry Levi
Dryope:
AH GIMLI
we don't have a Gimli
Kayla:
OHNOES. We must have a gimi
*gimli
Dryope:
who is a courtly gentleman we can assign that role >.>
Miles?
Kayla:
Jake says Cobalt >.<;;;;
HE IS DUMB
Dryope:
NO JAKE COBALT IS NOT GENTLEMANLY ENOUGH TO BE GIMLI
come on, can you see Cobalt charming Galadriel?
Kayla:
.......HEY
xP 02/14/2011
Dryope:
besides, Cobalt is one of Elrond's sons >_>
Kayla:
ahahahahahaha it'd be more stammering and awkward politeness, really
*snerk*
true. that does kind of work
and Josh is his sister. Yup. That makes sense
Dryope:
pffffffft except that Arwen is way classier than Josh will ever hope to be
Kayla:
hahahahahahaha you are TERRIBLE
Dryope:
unless that's why she didn't get many speaking parts
because really she was always railing about politics
which was embarrassing for her family seeing as they were rulers of everywhere
Kayla:
HEEE omg thank you. Arwen has just become more bearable
Dryope:
and after Aragorn displaced his stewards
she spent all her time bitching to him about how he ought to run things
Kayla:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I now may ship them a little bit more now
Dryope:
Arwen campaigns for a free Athelas garden for everyone
Kayla:
ROFL. Oh josh. <3
Dryope:
but back to the task at hand: Frodo and Sam
Kayla:
yes. HM.
Dryope:
a part of me wants to say Eli and Mii
Kayla:
AWWWWWWWWWW--and the Ring is... wait. uh.
NEVER MIND
Dryope:
because of the BFFs who everyone ships together because they don't understand their relationship
Kayla:
this is a good point
Dryope:
the ring is Vincent
Kayla:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES YES YES
Dryope:
and Sammy is Mt. Orodruin ;3
Kayla:
HEEE this is genius. You are a genius
Dryope:
is this more or less genius than Hammel as Peter Pan?
Kayla:
HMMMMM maybe a little more XD Even though Hammel as Peter Pan had Ben as Tinkerbell
Dryope:
I am still fond of Hook!Cobalt and Croc!Sean
Kayla:
that was particularly clever, yes XDDD
BUT. If Sean is Aragorn and Cobalt is Elladan/Elrohir, that means that...Cobalt knew Sean when he was a...baby? Right? Yeah. Soooo...actually that's kind of strange XD
Dryope:
the Hammel/LotR parallels only work if you don't think too hard about them >.>
Kayla:
yeeaaaah true
Dryope:
and Cobalt thought bby!Sean was too high maintenance?
Kayla:
*SNERK* oh-ho that is funny
SO FUNNY
Dryope:
or maybe bby!Sean was already wise and omnipotent
Kayla:
ohgod what a pain xD
Dryope:
and it vexed Cobalt that some mortal kid knew more than him
Kayla:
heeeeeeeeeeeee this is better than half the fanfictions out there.
--lengthy discourse on how seriously we take Tolkien--
Dryope:
this is what I get for being PICKY
unless Hammel is involved, then apparently crackverse is totally acceptable
Kayla:
haahahahaha well of course. xD Such is the power of Hammel
