Rules for hunting lawyers (Cobalt)

[Mia Keystone]

Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick

Lawyers were the scum of the earth. Mia’s dad had been pretty clear about that since Mia was old enough to understand what scum and lawyer were. As a journalist, he had a love/hate relationship with being lawful. Mia had just taken it a bit further and gotten rid other love part. But, given recent events, old Johnny law had become something more then an annoyance. It had become something she was aware could start seriously affecting her life. And if, some day (maybe soon, lets be honest) she was in court, she would need to be able to defend herself and while Mia could speak binary and a little japanese, she did not speak lawyer.

However, the thought of actually talking to a lawyer made her feel both extremely sleepy and irritated. While a normal person might have considered looking at information online, Mia had decided it would be much more practical (?) and exiting (!) to just bug the office of the lawyer she’d heard name dropped by a few of the teachers when she’d been cross referencing her audio files.

Her options had been to either pose as a legal aid (she had a nice pant suit she’d yet to try out) or sneak in during the lunch break in the schedule she’d found on the computer while staking out Cobalt Weaver’s office (no pant suit). Mia had had good luck with breaking and entering so far, best not to ruin a running streak (of one).

She’d clipped the mini microphone to the spine of one of the leather bound books that Mia assumed all lawyers were given when they were assembled and let out of the factory. The cameras were not necessary but, well, Mia wanted them anyway. She had left two of the buttonhole sized gadgets on the desk as she balanced on a chair to set one in the light fixture. She’d left the window open (her point of entry) in case she needed to make a quick escape but the schedule said she still had at least fifteen minutes.

[Cobalt Weaver]

So. Damn. Cold. The thing Cobalt had stupidly forgot about February in Vermont was that it was freezing, and while he certainly enjoyed cold weather to warm weather, his joints definitely didn’t. And either way, everyone had his limits, and Cobalt reached his when he felt like his eyes were freezing. So, he chose to come back from lunch early. Leila was out and about, so it wasn’t as though anyone would notice the difference. So he’d taken his early leave from Ben and Josh and tromped through the snow back to the office.

“Dammit… freaking… cold.” Cobalt muttered as he unlocked the door and pushed it open, rubbing his hands together, trying to return feeling to his fingers. When he looked up, he was treated to an unusual sight.

There was a teenage girl standing on his chair. Putting something on the light fixture. She couldn’t be more than five foot something, so it was a bit of a surprise she could reach it at all. Cobalt scanned the room briefly; nothing appeared stolen, but there were two little yet-to-be-identified things that looked suspiciously like tiny cameras on his desk. Narrowing his eyes, he glanced around the room. There looked to be something on the spine of one of Leila’s books, but he couldn’t be sure if there weren’t more.

Why was his life so weird?

“So.” Cobalt shrugged off his jacket and draped it carelessly over a chair. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, “Is there any special reason you’re putting electronics in my light fixtures, or did I win the random draw?” Shadows curled up around the shorter lawyer, not to intimidate (well, not yet), but to communicate his vague displeasure. And hopefully to cover up the fact that he was utterly at a loss. Really, Pilot Ridge didn’t use to be this strange.

[Mia Keystone]

”Oh balls!” Mia scowled as the door creaked open. Her eyebrows raised at the guy’s chill demeanor, but she dropped her arms and hopped of the chair onto the desk, then down onto the floor. ”You’re early,” she muttered, ”Lunch till one thirty, it said so. Go away.” The technopath stared angrily at the lawyer for a moment until she realized that, even for her, that might be pushing it a bit. With a put upon sigh she crossed her arms stiffly in her purple jacket. It would perhaps be hard to take her seriously as a burglar, given the beanie she’d pulled on.

The light was acting weirdly around him, and Mia squinted to see if it was messing with her eyes. No, he had way too many shadows around him. ”Cool. You’re a meta. Makes sense. Are you manipulating the light or the shadows?”Realizing she was getting distracted, Mia blinked and looked away from the shadows and looked back up at the lawyer.

”You look more like a hobo then I expected,” she said truthfully, then shrugged. ”I mean, I dunno, never really met with a lawyer before. Do you wear something different if you’re in court? And the wigs? Do you wear those? Or is that just the english?” She stuffed her hands into her pockets and raised her eyebrows expectantly. In honesty, she was a bit disappointed. Where were te robes and the scary looks like on TV? Or even the horns and pitchfork like her dad had left her expecting.

”But seriously. Do you inhale your food like a vacuum cleaner or something?” Yes, Mia was pissed off. Her plan had been tighter then a drum, thank you very much. People shouldn't mess around with things like plans.

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt’s eyebrows hit the ceiling. “Shouldn’t that be my line?” He adjusted his glasses, feeling more amused than anything else. Mostly because she was giving him a death glare whilst wearing a hat that looked like a strawberry. At least she hadn’t broken the window. Leila would have killed him. “And anyways, if you’re going to do breaking-and-entering, you never want to do it during lunch hours or day to day breaks. It’s a better bet to try before or after hours.” Cobalt chose not to add that his hours were ridiculous anyways, so she would have to be damn persistent if she wanted to get back in here.

At her question about his powers, Cobalt nodded, “Yup. Meta. It’s the shadows, actually.”

“I—thanks.” Cobalt snorted at her evaluation of his clothing. “Weirdly, I get that more often than you’d expect.” He raised his eyebrows again at her assumptions about what was acceptable lawyer apparel. “Not since the 1700’s, I would think. Though I must say, conferences would certainly be a helluva lot more interesting if everyone wore wigs.” He entertained himself briefly with the notion before moving on. “I believe certain sessions of British parliament still do the traditional garb but…” He shrugged, “Sorry to disappoint. But seriously, would you take someone seriously if they wandered around in a black robe and a powdered wig? I don’t think so.”

At her demanding tone, Cobalt gave her a sarcastic look. “Sometimes. Sometimes it’s cold as shit outside and I want to go somewhere warm. But you have me at a bit of a disadvantage. Who are you, what are you doing and why did you put what appears to be either a microphone or camera on my partner’s book? She won’t like that, you know.” He limped over and plucked the little gadget from the spine of her book and gently placed it on the desk.

[Mia Keystone]

He was so not taking her seriously. She should have gone with the less fruity hat. Mia scowled at Cobalt and was ready to launch into an attack on her position as an electrician something... when he started explain her mistake in her schedule. Her eyes lit up as she listened keenly to Cobalt’s advice, and she made a mental note to remember that after hours would be better. Before hours would involve being up at hours before 7 am. NEVER!

Shadow manipulation.. ”Does that have any, you know, affective applications?” Mia asked, one eyebrow raised. Shadows just reminded her of Pater Pan and his runway shadow. And sticking it to his foot with soup. Did Cobalt had to stick his shadows to his foot with soap? Mia lent forward and sniffed once. No, no soap smell. ”Can you make them do anything? What can they do?” Because while it was a really cool horror film angle, was it actually supposed to scare someone?

”No, I expect you get it a lot,” Mia said honestly, shrugging. She had known the english would be more into the wigs and gowns. ”I’d take you more seriously! You’d look like an official something. Trust England,”.

Mia chewed on her lower lip and and shrugged. ”Way too easy to see, eh?” she mused to herself, then shrugged. She could say talk to my lawyer but that would be redundant. ”I’m not saying. Why do you want to know? I plead the fifth.”” she snapped and crossed her arms again.

”You’re a meta, right? Then you know Hammel.”

[Cobalt Weaver]

The teenager was obviously not expecting Cobalt to actually give her advice about this kind of thing. Truth be told, Cobalt knew that he really ought to be angrier than he was, but really... in the course of a few weeks, he’d had people ambushing him in parking lots, crashing through his windows, and trying to pay for legal help in quarters. He was learning to take things in stride. Besides, he couldn’t completely condemn breaking and entering without being a hypocrite. There was an upside to people not knowing him when he was much younger and stupider. There were certain things he hadn’t even told Leila yet; like the fact that his earlier legal methods hadn’t always been so…by the book.

Cobalt snorted, “No. My powers don’t really do anything. They’re what amounts to metahuman parlour tricks, sorry.” To demonstrate, he flicked his hand a little and on the opposite wall, a shadow of a bird swooped across the wall before vanishing. Cobalt shrugged, “Unfortunately, that’s it. So…” He gave her an odd look. Was she…sniffing him? This kid was strange. Of course, that wasn’t completely all Cobalt could do, but he didn’t really see any use in telling a strange kid who just broke into his office everything.

Cobalt barked out a laugh, “Yeah, sure you would. I don’t need to look official, it’s not like I want to parade around making sure everyone knows I’m a lawyer. It’d be way more trouble than it would be worth.” Cobalt smirked at her, “Go to England then, and harass some barrister, I’m sure they’d appreciate that. Cause some international incident.” He sidestepped her to lift the chair off his desk and set it down on the floor.

“It really was,” Cobalt nodded at her musings, “Give me a little credit, huh?”

At her evasions, Cobalt’s eyebrows raised incredulously. “You’re the one breaking and entering here. I could very easily call the authorities and it would be one giant headache for everyone involved. But I won’t. In part because I hate the paperwork and partially because there are only a few reasons anyone would want to bug a law office, and it’s usually because the person is in trouble.” He glanced at her, “There are much easier ways to find out information. And ask for help. Besides,” He added, “technically, you can only plead the fifth in a criminal case. So, you know.”

Ah. Hammel. “Yeah, I went there myself.” He didn’t bother to keep the vague contempt from his tone, “So I take it you’re meta too, huh? What can you do?”

[Mia Keystone]

”Lame,” Mia snorted, but watched the bird with interest. That was very cool. She’d managed to cut him off mid sentence with her behavior; Mia wasn’t surprised, or even unused to it. And she had just been checking he wasn’t some peter pan wannabe, it made complete sense to her, and that was all that mattered.

His point was a good one; from what Mia’s dad had told her and what she’d read online and seen on Law and Order, lawyers were well known to be slippery slimy individuals who blackmailed women into having sex with them and got murders off with a wrist slap. She just waved away the idea of going to England. They didn’t even have proper coffee, no thank you.

The location of her bugs, on the other hand... Mia tapped her lip with her index finger and looked around the office, seeing if she could find any other spots she could have used instead. ”There’s like... nothing in here,” she said finally, scowling at Cobalt. ”and you don’t have a webcam...” now it was Mia’s turn to trail off. Finishing her sentence, that she could have hacked the stream and just watched through that would be a bit too much self accusation, really.

Her expression darkened when Cobalt pretty much flat out told her he expected she needed help. Mia never needed help from random adults, ever. The very suggestion was offending, and he could stick that idea right up his ass, which she would tell him should he continue with that line of thought. Still, he wasn’t gonna call the cops. She would bet a lot of money that Vincent and Sean would be not to upset to see her have to spend time in a cell.

Ah Hammel indeed. At his tone, Mia’s face brightened. Finally, an adult that didn’t talk like Hammel was actually the garden of eden and she was an idiot for disliking it there. This lawyer dude was not nearly as evil as she had expected. As for what she could do... Mia grinned.

The lights began flicking on and off even as she lent back and touched the computer. The screen flicked to black, and the answer to his question appeared across it in big green letters, she spelt out MAGIC! Even as she finished that, she could feel the phone in Cobalt’s pocket and made that start to vibrate so he could see the word magic there too. The air con started, whoosing as it spat out cold air for a moment then was silent.

With a satisfied smile, Mia turned back to Cobalt. ”Technology’s my thing,” she said unnecessarily. ”I’m best with computers though.”

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt snorted, “I’m sorry my power doesn’t properly amuse you.” It lacked any venom, though. Mostly because his power was fairly “lame” from a utilitarian standpoint. It didn’t really do anything. Or rather, it couldn’t do anything that wouldn’t have negative effects on his health. Ah well. Such was life.

Had Cobalt been aware of Mia’s views on lawyers and where she had gotten them from, he would have been more than a little disturbed. He secretly enjoyed Law and Order as much as the next person, but he liked to pretend that people knew that it was merely a dramatization of the facts and therefore not a very good representation of lawyers as a whole. But, he understood that lawyers scored very low in public opinion, and he wasn’t all that concerned with the opinion of one teenage girl. Just as long as she didn’t put anymore damn bugs in his office.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Cobalt huffed out a laugh, “Again, I’m sorry I have inconvenienced your life. Though really, you should be thanking me.” He stared over the rim of his glasses at her, a wry grin on his face, “About an hour into it, you would have died of boredom. Unless listening to some old guy bicker with his business partner is fun for you.” Really. Nothing ever happened in the office. Ever. “And no, neither one of us have webcams. Leila had one once, but I think it broke. I don’t think she managed to fix it. What would I do with a webcam in a law office anyways?”

The teenager gave him a glare when he tried to figure out why she had taken it upon herself to break into his office in search for information. He recognized that look of petulant stubbornness and held his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. Never mind.” Cobalt rolled his eyes exasperatedly, “But a name would be nice. You have me at a bit of a disadvantage.”

Cobalt should have been concerned when, in response to his question, the teenager smiled. Before that could register, suddenly his office decided to go berserk. Cobalt raised an eyebrow, the only outward sign of surprise is how the shadows burst up around his shoulders. He did legitimately jump when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out to reveal the words “MAGIC!” spelled out across his screen, mirroring those on the computer screen.

“I can tell.” Cobalt nodded, looking appropriately impressed. He huffed out another laugh, “Computers, huh? Duly noted. Step away from the desk then, little girl. I have a hard enough time with Leila messing with my computer, I don’t need a technopath messing with it too.”

[Mia Keystone]

It was hard not to appreciate someone who wielded sarcasm as a sword. Well, in Mia’s mind at least. And yeah, Coblat was making his office sound as boring as bat shit. And she would have had to sort through all that nothing to get information that may have taken months to come up.. Mia may have tackled this the wrong way. She may have also misjudged lawyers, or at least, this one. Firstly, lawyers always worse suits and smoked cigars with fatcats. This guy looked like, well, a hobo. As Mia had pointed out. Hobos did not smoke cigars.

But like so many of the older generation the dude was clueless as to how technology could help him. ”Video conferences, over the net consultations, Skype, to name a few,” Mia snorted, rolling her eyes like it was obvious. Which it was. To her. And she could easily fix teh webcam too but she didn’t offer. Best save that for when she wanted something in return.

Mr Weaver, I will trade you a fixed webcam for your legal representation.

Fair trade, right?

But, finally, it was time to offer something in return for him a)no calling the cops and b) giving her advice on how to better spy on business people. That was worth her name, right? ”I’m Mia,” she said with a sharp nod, looking as proud and together as a midget in a strawberry beanie could look. ”Mia Keystone. I’m 17 and I got to Hammel and will probably go there for another six years, because I’m a menace to society, according to some people.” This too was said with pride. Being a menace was not something that just came naturally; it took work and imagination to be a menace, instead of just a pest or an annoyance.

”Who’s Leila,” was Mia’s first response to Cobalt’s reaction, but then she realized there’d been some sort of maybe insult there too. ”Ah, dude, little? From you? I’d cut you off at the knees for that,” she smirked, ”but looks like someone beat me to it.” Yes, Mia was short. So was Cobalt. Therefore, they could probably recognize most of the jokes they threw at each other, should they continue to do so.

”So, ah, anyway, you know Hammel, right? Do you know any of the teachers? Because whatever they say, about me, is maybe a lie. Might not be. Depends.”

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt considered the shorter girl. Did his office just have an invisible sign that said strange teenagers, enter here? He didn’t particularly mind, but it was just very odd. His life was odd in Chicago, but that was because Cobalt was young, stupid, and made decisions that made his life weirder. Now, it would seem that the universe felt the need to throw things and people at Cobalt without him really doing anything to merit it. Like tiny teenage girls with strawberry hats.

Cobalt snorted in response, “Oh, of course. Silly me. Because I definitely want to have more conferences.” Cobalt had a pointed distain for the less exciting aspects of his job. Like conferences with other lawyers. Just because he had the good sense to make connections with other lawyers didn’t mean he like a whole lot of them.

“Mia, nice to meet you,” Cobalt nodded back, not bothering to introduce himself. He figured that Mia knew a little more than Cobalt was strictly comfortable with anyways. He smirked, “Menace to society? Well, you are a master of breaking and entering, so I suppose I can see that. Once you’ve been tentatively mis-diagnosed as a sociopath, then you’ve made it.” He let the sarcasm drip from his words. Memories from Hammel and his own experiences with the psychiatrist when he was a child made him smirk wider. Oh Hammel.

“Leila is my business partner.” Cobalt replied, “And she torments me enough without needing help, thank you very much.”

Cobalt barked out a laugh at Mia’s jibe about his height. “Oh good. Short jokes. Definitely missed those. Although if you’re going to break into my office and insult my style of dress, I feel I at least deserve a quality jab at my height, not something so unoriginal.”

Cobalt snickered, “I know a few. I’m sure what they say is probably true. I’m sure you give certain instructors a run for their money.” He briefly entertained the notion of Mia interacting with Sean with no little amount of amusement. “But just for reference, what do they say about you? Aside from ‘menace to society’?”

[Mia Keystone]

”Right back at you, Cobalt Weaver,” Mia replied, wondered for a moment if she should mention the college he went to, and the year he graduated. Naw, that was showing off. Maybe later. Still, she looked impressed at the whole sociopath thing. ”What did you do to get that? Because pretty sure I could get that label in a week.” She totally could. And yes, she had just taken Cobalt’s statement as a challenge. If this lawyer could be ‘tentatively mis-diagnosed as a sociopath’ so could she!

”The school shrink thinks that already, I bet,” Mia couldn’t help but add, her eyes rolling ”Or that I’ll end up going to jail.”. Cobalt seemed cool. Sarcasm was, after all, cool. Her own smirk started to grow as she started thinking just what she’d have to say to Sean to get him to classify her as a sociopath. ”Wait, are sociopaths crazy in a serial killer way or a bring a knife to school way?” Mental illnesses were emotion things, which meant that Mia had never really bothered learning about them. There was that line from that movie.. we are rare, and we are usually men.

Rare was good, right?

So, this guy was extremely sarcastic, worked with a woman who tormented him.... and Mia was still waiting to see a cigar. Was he actually a lawyer? Maybe he was pretending to be Mr Weaver, but was actually... someone else! Mia’s eyes narrowed and she took a few steps forward to peer into the so called Mr Weaver’s face. Naw, he looked legit enough. No sign of a latex mask.

”I have at least three related to Lord of the Rings, I can also start on the Star wars if you’re more into that.” Mia chewed on her lip rings and crossed her arms. ”But they’re mostly just comparing you to a shaved Ewok. You’re, what,” She checked her own height, then looked up at Cobalt. ”Five foot three? Five foot four? Either way, Tyra Banks would never let you audition for Americas Next Top Model, your perfect bone structure will go to waste.” Mia stuck her bottom lip out in a pout that could have been used as a diving board. ”It’s ok. Don’t cry.”

The technopath was actually enjoying herself. Most people at school were either too scared to bark back, or were just boring when they finally thought of one.

Oh, if only Cobalt knew.... Mia and Sean had a very special relationship. One born on tired endurance on one side, and the special dislike teenagers who hate rules have for authority figures on the other side. ”I have attitude issues, I have no understanding or appreciation for privacy, I am in no way ready to be released into the real world because I’d get executed or something...” The specifics of all of Dr Neville’s threats warnings were blurry but capitol punishment had been mentioned, for sure. ”Ah, according to the head of security, I am the living embodiment of why they should bring back that thing where the teachers can biff the kids,”. Mia was scowling, but she still couldn’t help the slight hint of pride in her voice. Hey, she had earned the whole school menace thing.

[Cobalt Weaver]

At Mia’s prodding, Cobalt laughed. “I am taking the fifth. There is no way I am telling you that. You wanna know, you go and find out yourself.” And Cobalt knew she would. He didn’t quite have a problem with that particular part of his past so much as he was just embarrassed by it. He’d been so angry and stubborn and hurt and had staunchly refused to do anything to help himself. That had been before Elaine had come into his life. Thank goodness for that.

“Serial killer.” Cobalt answered. Then hesitated. “Well… it’s obviously not as simple as that. One of the things that usually earns someone the title of sociopath is emotional disconnect coupled with a severe inability to function in most social situations due to… like, lack of empathy or something. It’s usually because they had a shitty home life or something.” He shrugged, “It’s a little complicated, but.” Also: he figured that would give Mia an indirect answer to her previous question.

Cobalt laughed, “School shrink? What… Sea—er. Dr. Neville?” He tried to keep the amusement out of his voice. Respect. Respect the instructor in front of the students. “And if you keep breaking and entering you probably will get your ass thrown in jail.” He raised an eyebrow at her, anticipating either irritation or indifference, “All I’m saying is you have to be smart about these things. And accept the consequences if you’re not.”

Okay, lecture time over.

Cobalt started laughing harder at Mia’s list of short jokes. “Ew… shaved Ewok? That’s just… that would be creepy.” He winced, “Definitely could have done without that image, thank you.”

Cobalt grinned, “Oh no. My lifelong dream is crushed.” He rolled his eyes, “And if I were five-three, that’d have to make you like four-two. And then the Hobbit jokes would be twice as easy to make. And for the record, I am five foot six, thank you very much.”

Cobalt nodded as Mia listed off her various foibles from the point of view of the staff. “Well… I can certainly understand the no understanding or appreciation for privacy.” He eyed the cameras pointedly, “But I highly doubt you’d be executed. Imprisoned, sure, but not executed. I think you have to commit a pretty egregious crime for capital punishment. Well…” Cobalt amended, “No. Pretty sure treason is still capital in Vermont. So… don’t sell any important information out of country, I guess.” He didn’t believe she would do that, but he felt the need to say it, just in case.

“And if corporal punishment were brought back to Hammel, there would be hell to pay from so many parents.” Cobalt winced at the veritable shit storm that would happen. “That, and it’s illegal in the state of Vermont. And I think it’s reprehensible so…” Cobalt shrugged, letting the implication that some of that shit in that storm would come from him hang in the air.