I'm sorry, this pity party was private! (Odion)

[Christian Lucas]

WARNING:
In this topic Christian has lost a family member, and is dealing with the unexpected death. There is drinking, swearing, and who knows what else. Fair warning.






If one more person had asked Christian Lucas how he was, he would have probably finally snapped. He may be a talented actor, but that doesn't mean that it was easy to put on this face for everyone. It was an incredible strain, psychologically and physically. Maintaining the apparent energy of someone who was just fine and happy when all you wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry was difficult.

The funeral was next week. The drama teacher still wasn't sure if he wanted to go. It felt wrong not to, but he really didn't want to deal with it that way. Flying back to Europe and having to deal with his family face to face was not something he ever wanted to have to do.

His father had been fifty-seven when he had passed away. Rather young by today's standards honestly. It was a complete surprise to everyone too. One day he's doing just fine, enjoying his retirement that happened only two months before. Then in the morning he was dead. Aneurysm had turned him into a corpse overnight. Nothing loud or dramatic.

Christian received the news on Tuesday morning. He wanted to take off from work right then. However drama teachers weren't really lining up at the door to substitute for him and he didn't work off of a lesson plan, so he felt wrong leaving his students like that when they had a test coming up so soon.

So he hid. He hid his misery from the world. He wasn't especially close with anyone here at this point, mostly acquaintances at best but nothing that would make him feel entitled to share his father's death with them. He kept a smile on his face whenever anyone was around. He continued as if nothing was wrong.

Finally Friday came around. He struggled to finish his classes, and finally they were done. He intentionally gave no homework that day, in case he couldn't deal with it on Monday. Once all of his students had spoken with him if they needed, he locked his office door, turned off the lights, and closed the blinds. He sat there silently, staring at the wall for an hour. He didn't think of anything in particular, his mind just sort of shut down.

Finally his clock alarm went off and he saw it was nearly five o' clock. He groaned and stood up, his eyes red now but no tears. He walked to a cabinet and moved a false back out of the way. Perhaps a little paranoid, or even dramatic, but fuck it, he was a drama teacher. He could indulge in being dramatic if he damn well pleased. Reaching into the cavity he pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He took a shot straight from the bottle, feeling the drink burn its way down his throat.

Walking back across the room he opened the mini-fridge he had brought and pulled out a six pack of beer as well. He really shouldn't have them on campus, but he always locked his office when he wasn't there, and had only meant them for Friday nights if another teacher was staying late, for the sake of fostering companionship. But tonight they would serve just as good a purpose, if not better.

He had walked almost blindly to the auditorium, not caring if someone else saw him or not at this point. He put the drinks down for a moment when he entered and fumbled with his keys to lock the main doors. He then went backstage and locked one of the stage entrances, but forgot the second stage entrance as he wandered back to the stage itself. There was something good about being on a stage. It helped him a little bit.

He took another shot of whiskey and popped open one of the beers, going to the cooler beverage for now. As he drank it he began to cry as it all hit him. Bottling his emotions up didn't help deal with them. It was like a student loan. It seems a good idea at the time, but it just gets worse while you can't deal with it until you finally have to do something. But by then the interest has started piling up, and it just seems that much bigger and more impossible to deal with.

He knew that eventually everyone died. But he felt it wasn't fair that there was no warning.

But hell, when is life ever?

[Odion Martins]

Odion was smiling more often now than he ever had. Things with Lani were going great, aside from the obvious Boston problem. He so wished he could get to know his brother a little better, but Declyn seemed to be in his own world lately, a zombie. Odion could sympathize, his twin still wasn’t over Cameron. Maybe it would be in everyone’s best interest if they just fucked and kept each other happy. Odion wasn’t fond of Cameron, but he didn’t hate him anymore.

The redhead wasn’t prone to wanderlust, not in the school anyways. He was quite content to spend time in his dorm room, or the library, playing cards or reading. Otherwise he was outside, pickpocketing and having a grand old time. Today felt different though, and he normally didn’t peek into the future, but after seeing himself in the school’s auditorium, it was decided – he had to go and see what was there. On his way, he wondered if he would’ve gone had he not peeked into the future, and if the future only lead there because he had always taken that peek. It was complex to think about, so Odion decided he was going because he was graduating in a couple months and hadn’t seen much of the school. Perhaps now was the time (even though he had been to the auditorium on one other occasion). It was easy to lie to oneself, and create a new beginning.

Hearing someone else treading in the halls, Odion stepped into one of the vacant classrooms, not wishing for company. His mind was full on its own without the random ramblings of other people. He watched as a taller man passed, a case of beer in one hand, a dismal look on his face. Odion’s eyebrows furrowed – wasn’t that Christian? He poked his head outside the doorway, watching as the drama teacher went into the auditorium. Yes, it most certainly was him. Odion ducked back into the classroom, his brain furiously thinking. What was a teacher doing here after hours, drinking? Something was obviously wrong, and it was also obvious that Christian didn’t have many friends, otherwise he would be going out with them on a Friday night.

This was Odion’s chance. There was a time when he had been in Christian’s shoes once, and someone cared enough to ask him what was wrong. He didn’t know it at the time, but it had saved him. That had been his breaking point into evil, and now he was just an asshole, so things were on the up and up for him. Odion sighed. It took more courage to talk to people than simply walk away, say it wasn’t his problem. And it wasn’t, but for some reason he felt compelled to do the right thing. Time had brought him here, along with his curiosity, and really he had nothing better to do.

Walking up to the front doors, Odion found them locked. He smirked to himself. That wasn’t going to keep him out, in fact, it only egged him on. Using the tricks of his trade, Odion slipped in soundlessly through the front doors, his eyes peeled for any sign of Christian. And there he was, on the stage. This was a very different man than the one Odion had met previously. The ginger locked the door behind him once more – no one needed to get fired tonight. Odion walked up the side of the chairs, staying in the shadows until he reached the corner of the stage. He couldn’t see Christian’s face, but the way his body was positioned, he could tell the man was crying. Odion cried often enough to know these things.

“It’s not easy being broken, is it?” Odion asked, coming off harsher than he meant to. But he wasn’t good at this, so Christian shouldn’t expect much. He was here, he would try, and that was that. The redhead lifted himself onto the stage, sitting right on the edge, his back towards where an audience might be. He gestured at the alcohol, “This is leaving a bad impression on the future minds of America,” he said harshly, but there was no denying the concern in his eyes. Only a madman would get to this state, only someone with a heavy burden would allow their career to be at stake. “Or are you method acting?” Odion asked, grinning slightly. Had Christian noticed that Odion had joined his class?

[Christian Lucas]

"Fuck off kid," was all that Christian said at first. He didn't even look at whoever was there, too deeply engrossed in grief to care. His voice was rough and his tone harsh. A moment later he looked up at the uninvited guest with the intention of cursing him out further. However when he saw Odion's face he held his tongue. He remembered this boy. He had a dangerous mind, and the teacher did not want to deal with him right now. He needed time alone and grieve, but he was worried about doing it around Odion.

During the pause, he actually played back what had been said in his head and responded to it. "You don't know broken, you prat, and I really doubt you're one to be making judgements on what impression I make on the future minds. You're hardly a role model yourself. At least one of us has a family to feel sorry for, when they die." Between the bottled grief and bottled booze, he was less concerned with being 'friendly' to the boy than he normally would be. He was hurting intensely and wanted to hurt back.

Standing up and taking the whiskey with him, Christian walked to the other side of the stage, his back to Odion. "Besides, you wouldn't know the first damned thing about acting, so don't give me shit if this is method. So go bugger off and play the bad boy with someone who gives a fuck about you." He took another large drink from the bottle. "Don't worry, I'm sure the list is pretty short."

In the back of Christian's head a voice was telling him to shut up and leave the boy be. He had done some research into Odion with his contacts in Europe after their first run in. The younger man's life had not been an easy one, and he was really lucky at this point that he was at Hammel rather than jail or a reform school. No one else had put the pieces together, but Christian had been looking for a big picture and so a number of the crimes that were never connected to the time manipulator had helped put the puzzle together that much more for him.

He knew for instance, some of the information about Odion being in a crime gang. He didn't know many details, but he knew that it wasn't something that he had really let share now that he was here. He also knew that he had made some serious enemies in Europe, as well as some details about his real family. The voice in the back of the drama teacher's head was screaming that he should be trying to understand the boy, and help him, not to sit here and destroy him. But the booze made it so much easier to ignore the voice. It made it seem like Odion deserved to be lashed at for being so cocky.

At least it would let Christian forget about his father for a little while. After all, misery does love company.

[Odion Martins]

Odion only looked amused. “Manners, nobody seems to have them around here.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, his head cocked to the side. He was genuinely concerned over his teacher, but Christian didn’t need to know that. Obviously the man was in a terrible state, but to tell off a student? He was damn lucky Odion didn’t really care, but what if it had been someone unintentionally stepping into the room? But if he really wanted to be alone, wouldn’t he just go home?

Odion’s nostrils flared when he huffed. “You’re right, I’m not a role model, but at least I don’t call myself a teacher. Besides, you’re the one making an impression on me, and it’s good to see what I believed to be true will remain such.” The redhead wasn’t sure what Christian was blathering on about family for. “I’m happy you feel sorry for yourself,” he said, unwilling to play guessing games with a man who wasn’t currently at his best. Odion liked to fight dirty, but he wasn’t here for that, not today.

Dark blue eyes never left the older man, trailing him as he went across the stage. “Well you taught me the first thing about acting, so I suppose you’re a lousy teacher.” Wow, he really was terrible at sympathizing. He sighed, putting his hands out in surrender. “Look, I saw you walk in here out of sorts and wanted to see if you were okay. Though, it isn’t the wisest idea to stay here...” Odion cut himself short, unable to comprehend what he had just said. Since when did he care, and why? Especially after the man claimed not to care when obviously he did, it was just another thing Odion was unsure about. Christian really had nothing to worry about – Odion was as low as low could be. The ginger cracked a grin, he always rubbed everyone the wrong way, and his good intentions weren’t executed very well.

“I’m sorry I bothered you,” Odion said, nicking a bottle before jumping back off the stage. Easy come easy go.

[Christian Lucas]

There was something about the way Odion reacted. Chris was expecting anger or some smartass comment that would let Odion feel he was in control. When none of that came, it shook up Christian's inebriated mind. The boy was obviously trying to be sincere. It just didn't come naturally to him. That's alright, golf had never come naturally to Christian. Maybe they could help each other.

"Wait... Odion. Stop. I'm... I didn't really mean those things. Or most of them..." His speech was stunted and slurred, the alcohol having hit him hard and quick. "Stay. Please." The boy seemed to be hesitant at the invitation so Christian tried to scoot off the stage. Fortunately the bottle survived. Unfortunately the bump on the drunk man's head would be another reason for a killer headache tomorrow.

Cursing loudly he stood up and raised a hand slightly. "I don't exactly have anyone else to talk to right now..." Sighing as he realized just how true this really is, Christian fell into a sitting position and stared into space for a minute. He could no longer tell if the younger man had stayed or left, but he was suddenly engrossed in memories. Not necessarily good ones either. "I haven't had anyone to talk to since Kristen... Wow..."

This sudden insight hit him harder than it felt like it should for some reason. Laying back and staring at the ceiling, Chris managed to get half a shot of his drink up his nose as he tried to take another mouthful. Coughing and cursing again he rolled over onto his stomach and sat up. Maybe laying down wasn't a good idea. But now he was looking at the stage. "She loved performing..." He left this last line slip from his lips before he went silent again.

Breakups are always tough. Even ten years later.

[Odion Martins]

Odion already knew he was in control – Christian was drunk, enough said. Also, yes, Odi was trying to be sincere, but that would mean being vulnerable and Odion wasn’t willing to let himself hurt from a drunk man’s comments. So the vulnerability was gone and the indifference came back. If Christian was going to cut him down, he could wallow in his own sorrow.

Laughing softly, Odion turned on the spot. “No need to lie to me,” he said. Odi knew Christian had been speaking truthfully, his words untamed and full of vengeance. Slurred though they may be, Odion knew most inebriated people spoke their minds without holding anything back. The redhead watched as Christian stumbled around, not making a move to help the older man. Christian would have to work for it now.

Odi scoffed. “Shocker that is – you’re so charming.” The younger man neared the stage again, keeping the stolen goods out of view. His forearms leaned across the top of the stage as he stared at Christian. He could probably guess who Kristen was in three guesses or less. Christian and Kristen – lovely. “Who’s Kristen? Your old dance partner?” Odion asked carefully.

Christian looked absolutely ridiculous rolling around on stage, it was really too bad Odion hadn’t thought to bring a camera or something akin to one. “Is that what you’re getting off your ass for? A woman?” Perhaps they’d had a family together?

[Christian Lucas]

Christian was too far gone to care about the insults from Odion. His had already drifted back to years ago, in his mind. Odion's words penetrated enough that he heard them but only barely now. "You've been in love before." He didn't ask this. He stated it. His own research into Odion had led him to knowing somewhat about his personal life, including his current relationship. The details weren't very clear. The boy was secretive and did well at hiding a lot of his own life. It wasn't a bad habit. It was however a difficult one to commit to in a school like this, and with a past like Odion's.

Christian didn't speak for what seemed like a long time. Finally as the silence had sunk in he spoke again. "Kristen was the one person I've ever really loved in my life so far. She... She and I were married for two years. Then she killed herself because of me." He inhaled deeply, the breath being shaky. "She was pregnant. I had just finished opening night of a play. It was 'She Loves Me' and I was trying to be cute and so I had some ice cream for her. I walked in and..." Chris stopped, his voice had begun cracking as he spoke the last two sentences.

Christian Lucas was good at controlling his emotions. He could cry on stage for a role, but rarely actually got too worked up over real life events. But this was obviously not an easy topic. Streaks would race down his face, from his eyes, as his tears spilled over. He hadn't spoken of this since it had happened. It wasn't specifically a secret, but he had never had a reason to tell anyone else about it. Apparently a dead father and getting incredibly drunk was a sufficient reason.

Who needs a psychiatrist when you have a thief?

[Odion Martins]

"Once or twice," Odion admitted, because there was no point in arguing over what love meant to each person. How it could be mistaken for something else, how it could all just be 'hormonal'. Or complete insanity, where a boy who was barely seventeen thought it was a good idea to propose to another boy he enjoyed abusing simply because neither of them knew any better. Odion liked to think he was beyond that at least.

Not even Odion could hide the surprise he felt - it was written across his face. For someone to so bluntly admit to that, it was shocking. The story itself didn't make logistical sense, but that wasn't the point.

All kinds of things could pour forth when liquid courage was on your side. However, it sounded as though this had happened quite a while ago. Odion tilted his head to the side. "Did she love you in return?" He wasn't sure what else to ask, only that it was better for Christian to just keep talking. He would feel relief afterwards, at least, that's usually what happened for Odion.