Time Warp: Ancient Custom

[Joshua Bernstein]

December, 1979

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Ice crunched beneath his feet as the sophomore stomped along the sidewalk, hurrying back from the library to the apartment he shared with Sean. They'd been there for six months now, and this was their first Hanukkah together.

Josh thought it was fortuitous that President Jimmy Carter had attended a menorah lighting service the same year he shared the holiday with Sean as a couple; this was, after all, a first for the nation as well.

Since he was sharing his traditions with Sean, however, he had wanted to learn a bit more about his boyfriend's traditions, as well. And so while the telepath had been at Mass, Josh had taken himself off to the library.

A pile of books on venerable Christmas traditions had been brought with him to a desk, where he'd flipped through carols and foods and snowmen. And then he had come across something interesting.

Something he so astonishing that he wanted desperately to see it for himself.

Once at the apartment door he shook the snow off his boots, leaving them on the welcome mat to dry. Coat and gloves and scarf all came off to be hung up on the coat rack as he called out, "Sean, are you home?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean had survived his first semester of medical school, including the grueling exam period. His final grades had not been posted yet, but he felt confident enough that he hadn’t failed, even if he also hadn’t done as well as he had in college or at Hammel. Passing was enough for this semester.

The telepath had been invited to one night of Chanukah last year with Josh’s family, as a friend. It had been interesting, but it had only been the one night. This year, they had all eight to celebrate, as well as Christmas. Sean looked forward to sharing his customs with his boyfriend, just as he was sure that the younger boy looked forward to sharing his customs with Sean.

The telepath had found a book of Jewish recipes, and he had wanted to read through it to find ideas for sharing the holiday with Josh. Obviously, Josh’s family recipes took precedence, but this way he would be more comfortable with cooking before he had the recipes in hand.

Having finished the last of his work, he set aside his book when he heard his boyfriend enter the apartment. “I’m in the bedroom!” He called out to the younger boy.

[Joshua Bernstein]

The journey from front door to bedroom took very little time. Josh flung himself onto the bed beside Sean, drawing his legs up to his chest. He didn't pay attention to the book the older boy was reading, too intent on the question he had.

"So I was reading about Christmas," He began. "There are so many really bizarre traditions."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean moved over on the bed to make room for his boyfriend. With Josh home, he would be able to start on supper in a bit, or they could order takeout if they found that it would be easier, or if they were otherwise distracted. They could discuss that later. As soon as Josh was on the bed, the older boy wrapped two arms around him.

“Were you reading for any specific reason?” The telepath assumed it was because his boyfriend wanted to learn more about Sean’s heritage. There was nothing wrong with that, since Sean was equally curious. There had been a few Jewish students at Hammel, but the telepath, having been ostracized for much of his time at the school, had not been friends with any of them. His neighborhood in Long Island was almost entirely Catholic, and thus they shared the same traditions.

“And there are some odd ones.” Then again, most customs were peculiar to outsiders. That was what had led to most of colonialism, the idea that one’s traditions were normal while everyone else’s were bizarre. Sean considered his family’s celebration of Christmas rather run-of-the-mill, even though they did attend Midnight Mass, which caused their holiday to begin earlier than some families.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"I wanted to know more about what you do for the holidays." Josh leaned into Sean's arms as he unwittingly confirmed his boyfriend's hypothesis. "Can I come to your house? Do you think your parents would mind?"

He was intimidated by the older Nevilles, but that was at least partly because he was nervous about the possibility they might discover his true relationship with their son; he knew they would be disappointed at best, and furious at worst. And he wanted them to like him.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Josh’s explanation was what Sean had expected. As the younger boy leaned into his embrace, the telepath pressed a kiss to the side of his boyfriend’s face. “I can call my mother and ask, but I don’t think she’d have a problem with it.”

Sean was not intimidated by his parents, but he shared Josh’s reluctance to let them know about their relationship. He could think of no way to explain that he was in a relationship with another young man to his very Catholic, very conservative family. As such, he had no intention of doing so. He believed that they could fake their way in front of his family, if Josh was interested in visiting for the holiday.

“You’re my best friend, and we live together. I’m sure my parents would be happy to have you.” It helped that Josh’s family didn’t keep Kosher, and thus his mother wouldn’t have to change her entire menu. Although, due to Midnight Mass, they would have to work out a plan so that Josh wasn’t dragged along for that. He didn’t want to inflict specific religious practices on his boyfriend of a completely different faith.

Perhaps they could pick up a stocking for Josh to take with them when they went out to Long Island. That way, he could be in on that tradition.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Good."

Josh shifted so that he was facing Sean, adjusting his limbs until they were comfortably wrapped around his boyfriend's neck. The benefit of living together was that they could be as affectionate as they wanted; there were no potentially judgmental family, no dangerous bigots, and no police officers anywhere. The family part would make the holiday visits to their respective parents difficult, but he thought he could keep his hands to himself in order to properly celebrate.

Especially since...

"I want to see a real live poop log!"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean returned the embrace as eagerly and comfortably as Josh did. There were many reasons for which he was grateful that they were able to live alone. They had privacy. They could go according to their own schedules. Nobody judged them for their relationship, and Greg wasn’t there to make jokes and other comments about their chemistry and massive affection. They could simply hug or kiss or otherwise enjoy one another’s company without interruption.

If they did go out to Long Island for Christmas, they would have to spend at least one night at his parents’ house. By necessity, that meant separate bedrooms, but they would cope. Josh could use a guestroom, while Sean would take his childhood bedroom. The holiday would keep them busy, and they could make up the separation time when they were back in the car on the way home after the holiday. It would be fine.

All practical thoughts of rooming options evaporated at Josh’s excited proclamation.

It was quite possible that the expression on Sean’s face was one that he had never made before.

The telepath blinked in surprise, and then stared with non-comprehension at the younger boy.

Had he just said...?

“I beg your pardon?”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"I want to see a poop log!!" Josh repeated, enthusiasm blinding him to the nonplussed expression on Sean's face. Perhaps if he'd done slightly more research he would have known this tradition was from Catalonia, but he had simply found that it was a Christmas tradition in Catholicism, and so specific sects and regional differences had been neglected.

"Will your mother let me have a turn beating it? How does the candy poop out? How much is in there, anyway? You have to have room for the onions and water, too, right? So I guess it must be a pretty big log! I've never seen one, it sounds so interesting."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Josh kept talking, and Sean continued not to comprehend what he meant in the slightest. A...log. That pooped candy and onions and water. And that was beaten with something by people in the houses. Presumably on Christmas.

The telepath had never heard of this before. He had never heard of anything even remotely similar to this before. The closest of which he knew were piñatas, which were, in his experience, from Mexico and definitely not Irish Catholic in origin.

While Sean had a broad knowledge base for someone of his age – due primarily to the telepathy and, to a lesser extent, a first-class education throughout each grade – he was not boastful. He also readily acknowledged that he didn’t know everything, and he had no expectation of knowing anything. As such, he felt no shame when he had to admit that he was confused.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, blinking again.

It was the most bizarre tradition of which he had ever heard, and he had only learned of it just now. He knew Josh’s sense of humor, and also his boyfriend’s imagination; this was not something that the younger boy would invent in order to play a joke. Thus, Sean couldn’t begin to guess as to where he had come up with, or come upon, this notion.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"I'm talking about poop logs."

Josh drew this out, in case his enunciation had failed him due to haste and excitement. "I think they had another name...Tia...Tio...de...Natal?"

He couldn't remember exactly; it certainly wasn't English, but it had sounded appropriately Christmas-y. "I read about it at the library."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Josh’s reiteration provided no further insight or clarity into the situation. Sean remained as confused as he had been a moment ago when his boyfriend had begun speaking. Josh remained as excited as he’d been when he first made the proclamation. The telepath didn’t know how to bridge that gap.

Tio de Natal did not sound like English. And, while Sean did not speak or read Gaelic, it didn’t sound Gaelic to him either. It sounded Spanish or Italian or Portugese; it definitely had Latin roots, but that was as far as he could interpret the name. He didn’t know the meaning of those words or the phrase taken as a whole. But he could certainly say that this was nothing that he had ever encountered at any point in time prior to this moment. Not for himself and not through the thoughts or memories of another person.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The telepath wanted to make that plain to his boyfriend, because they were obviously not having the same conversation. Josh apparently expected him to be knowledgeable about this custom, and Sean wasn’t equipped to provide any insight into this custom, whatever it was, in any way, shape, or form.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh's face fell at Sean's proclamation, and he pulled away in order to better look at his boyfriend.

"But it's a Catholic custom!" He protested, confused as to why the other young man wouldn't know about the customs of his own religion. "It starts on the feast of immaculate conception, isn't that a Catholic feast? And you put it in the living room and cover it with a log and beat it with a stick so it drops candy! That's what I read."

He frowned, disappointed that he apparently wasn't properly explaining this tradition. "Maybe it has another name, but that was the one that it said in the book."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean lowered his arms, letting Josh slip from the embrace to better facilitate their face-to-face conversation.

“There are different types of Catholics, you know,” the telepath reminded his boyfriend. Perhaps it was difficult to imagine, given that Catholicism seemed united by the Roman Catholic Church and its hierarchy, but there were different cultural customs. Given that this one had a backstory, it had to originate somewhere, but that location of origin was neither Ireland nor the United States.

At least they were getting somewhere. “The Feast of Immaculate Conception is a Catholic feast, yes.” It was an important occasion and one of the Days of Obligation. Sean’s family celebrated the Feast.

Not so much the rest of what Josh had described to him. The telepath didn’t know the name or nature of the book that Josh had read, but it obviously went beyond the standard fare into more isolated cultural components. The older boy couldn’t imagine where this came from, or how it came about, but it had nothing to do with his heritage, and that was all that he could be responsible for.

“Do you want me to walk you through what Christmas at my parents will be like?” Perhaps that would help Josh to better understand why Sean found this bewildering.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"But I thought that the pope tells all Catholics what to do and celebrate." Josh's face scrunched up on confusion. Admittedly, Sean was the first Catholiv he had been friends with to ask; while he'd had many friends growing up, they had predominantly been of Jewish background. Still, he thought he had a pretty good grasp on how this worked: the pope made a declaration, and the Catholics followed it.

Of course, there was also the inconvenient fact that Sean didn't lie.

Sean didn't lie, and so Sean really didn't know what this was.

The younger boy grudgingly acquiesced, still disappointed. He'd really wanted to see a poop log in action.

"You can walk me through it. That might be helpful."