Forgiveness (Lani.)

[Odion Martins]

There was no way Lani would ever believe him now.

Lani wouldn’t believe Odion, not for a second, and the redhead wasn’t sure his power was up for something as drastic as trying to manage an enraged telekinetic. It had been 7 months since he last saw his… It hurt too much to call him anything than who he was to Odion, and that was his love.

Their trip had been so amazing, and then the last trip to Ireland hadn’t gone as Odion thought it would. It had all happened so quickly the first time around that he didn’t remember it until a week ago today. It had been so painful his mind had blocked it out. The fight between him and Lani had been so intense that his mind couldn’t take it. He wasn’t going to plead innocent. Yes it was he who chose to stay, it was Lani he broke up with in the heat of the moment. But that wasn’t what caused him to not come back to Vermont.

Now he knew… It was a rainy day, most days were in Ireland. Lani said he had a surprise. Odion blindly went along with things, suspicious, but not any more than what was usual for him. As soon as his sapphire eyes landed on Declyn he knew something was wrong. And that’s where the memory broke. Something happened that he still couldn’t touch. But he knew Lani had gone back to the United States, knew that he had friends waiting for him…

But every time he thought of Lani, Odion would lose days at a time. Yes it had been months, but it simply does not feel like it to the ginger. There wasn’t a day he couldn’t not think of Lani, but if he kept the memories far away, he could hold them. If he remembered only the beginnings of their relationship, he was okay. If he pretended like his heart wasn’t torn apart and tricked himself into thinking they were still together and Lani was just around the corner…

Odion’s anchor was gone, back in Vermont. He supposed that this was life telling him that things were never going to work out in his favor – not really. He would always end up hurting people, always end up hurt, and end up being alone. His time in Europe had been just that, and he had gotten himself into more trouble than he was willing to admit, but at least he could remember that. Trying to remember Lani now was like trying to hold on to a shard of mirrored glass, cutting deeper the harder he tried to hold on.

If it hadn’t been for Caroline, Odion might have still been wandering aimlessly around Europe.

It would be easy to turn around and leave. But without Lani, there was no point. And as soon as he realized what had happened and what was going on, he had to come back. His head ached as more memories flooded his mind and he winced, wondering vaguely what had happened to the cats… He looked down at his phone again, still wondering how Caroline had gotten his new phone number. Odion felt lost in a world he thought he knew so well.

Odion: Are you sure this is a good idea?

He sighed, looking over the street and the passing cars. The ginger still couldn’t hold his own behind the wheel of a car. Jared and gone and gotten himself killed probably by now, he was always coming and going so it was hard to say. Everything else of Odion’s past he was willing to let go. His phone buzzed.

Caroline: No, he’s gonna be miserable. He’s miserable now though, so you might as well knock him out of that stupid mood he’s in and make him angry.

Odion couldn’t help but smile and laugh softly. Caroline hadn’t changed at all. She just wanted her brother to be happy again and knew that he could never stay mad at her for long. Now Odion on the other hand… There was a good chance the telekinetic would stay mad at him forever. But Caroline believed him, she had seen firsthand how badly his power could affect him, what the side effects were. Maybe with her help, there was a chance.

Everything felt disconnected. One minute he was checking his phone, the next his phone read three minutes ahead into the now present and he was stalking around the parking lot of the apartment complex Lani lived in. He had been spotted, as someone with a flashlight was now approaching him. It was probably was snapped Odion back to reality in the first place.

“Hey you, what are you doing?” This woman was not to be screwed around with. The large loop of keys on her belt told Odion she was probably managerial staff, or a night guard. Or maybe she was just some crazy person like him. “Do I know you?”

Odion shook his head, thankful that she had finally lowered the flashlight. For some reason she smiled. “I’ve seen you before. Yeah, when that sour looking guy moved into the complex,” she laughed to herself, “you should tell him to take that stupid looking picture of you down.”

Odion was dumbstruck. “Picture?” Of all the things he could’ve said or asked, it was this. Not why she knew that or that his hopes were raised, stupid picture or not.

“I didn’t stutter,” she said, already making her way to the building, gesturing Odion to follow. “I was fixing a vent in the hall the day… uh, not sure what his name is. But when he moved in I distinctly remember your face with all the other junk he brought in.” Odion felt terrible, like he was going to throw up. All the other junk… There was truth to that, he was junk. Garbage, foul, disgusting. But before he could go on, she was letting him into the complex.

With his powers on the fritz, there was no way of getting out of this. And this would save him the trouble of finding out a way to get into a room Lani most certainly had locked in all manner of speaking. It would be strange to her if he refused to go in now. “Thank you,” he said, stepping through the threshold and looking back at her. She only nodded and went back outside. Maybe she was fixing a vent out there too, nosy bitch.

Odion inhaled sharply. There he was.

[Lani Hunter]

Why was Odion doing this to him? He almost could have missed Odion at first. Lani usually had his headphones in and was too lost in his own thoughts to notice people. Not until his power perked up and his head had foolishly turned to dismiss the idea. It was a split second and their eyes had met and Lani had turned back and reined in his power his heart rate starting to skyrocket. The heart he had locked away so tightly, the heart he had tried to heal by freezing woke up and throbbed through Lani’s chest. He had never allowed himself even to hope that Odion would come back. He had cried over him, he had sealed his heart against the idea of love and now Odion was here to ruin it all.

It was just like last time. Lani was finally getting better. He was recovering, he was getting better. He was getting over Odion, but here he was to ruin all that. Though he wasn’t sure how much that spoke of if right now he was fighting a serious war between dangerous fury and elation. Lani had had to pinch the bridge of his nose to keep himself from letting tears falls. This was insane, how could Odion be back? Was Lani just dreaming it? Well dream or nightmare he couldn’t quite decide, either way Lani’d been doing a spectacular job at what he did best: avoiding the problem. It had been going rather well, this hiding thing that he was doing. He was having problems regulating his heart and he couldn’t keep it from racing then screeching to a halt and then racing again.

Old memories surfaced and all the progress he thought he’d made went washing down the drain. When Adrianna had seen Venn again she’d been a wreck but she’d been able to tell him to get lost. Lani’s heart, no his entire being called out to Odion and he was furious for it. Was his heart really so eager to be shattered again. Lani loved him, and he hated him. He hated him. Odion broke up with him and then seven months later decides just to show up? Who did that?! Oh well, Lani would just keep doing this. Hiding wasn’t that bad, a completely legitimate way to handle the situation. And Odion had actually never been to his apartment and so Lani had withdrawn to his cave to sulk. On a whim he shimmied his way under his bed and there in a dusty box rest the hollowed out bible. He took it out and traced his fingers over the latches. He’d locked the keys away inside with the pictures and the book and the compass. He’d locked them away to prevent the temptation to dwell from getting to him. His power played with the lock as Lani fought whether to open it and remember or toss it and forget. Lani finally forced himself to set it aside and walk away.

He found he had too much energy and he needed to figure things out, he needed to think. He changed quickly and plugged in his music to the angriest thing he could find and he flew the coup like a fiend. He’d run until he couldn’t anymore and he bent over his knees panting. This couldn’t be happening! “Oh god,” he muttered into the empty air and he couldn’t keep his heart from pounding for an entirely different reason. Lani’s heart ached and the heartache drew sadness and yet the memories of all of the pain fortified his defenses. Ice froze his heart. How could Odion do this to him? Hadn’t Odion loved him once? Could he love Lani just enough to leave him alone? Lani never wanted to see him again and he was going to try his hardest to make sure that didn’t happen. Lani made his way back slowly, gathering his power and drawing his anger close to his core. His mind reeled through all of the things that had been said that rainy day and it only made his anger burn brighter. He allowed the chill of the air to cool him and he would shower and get work done when he got home. Odion was not going to scare him away from his studies.

Lani’s resolve was strong but when he traced his steps back as the sun set he started to lose it. He would go back home and he would stay there. He’d call Adrianna, she would know what to do. He never got the chance. He was wrapping his headphones around his iPod when he saw him. His heart stopped for a moment and it was like tunnel vision had honed in on Odion. He stopped where he was and just stared for a moment in shock. Everything was everywhere and nowhere. His heart pulled toward Odion then pushed away. Half of him wanted to run forward to take Odion in his arms and cry and the other wanted to run toward him and throw him out the door. How had Odion found him? How was Odion even here? Those beautiful eyes and that flaming hair, why was he here?!

His eyes locked with the blue ones and Lani was falling and he was dying. Lani’s fury was written in his eyes as he took a quick glance around looking for an escape. “No…” he said barely above a whisper as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. The broken silence sliced his heart and he hardened his heart. “No,” he said more firmly his glare flashed as he resisted the urge to let his power out and take over, take the emotions and make them power. “No, I have nothing to say to you. Leave.” He said his teeth bared in a snarl. The stairs were about halfway between the two of them and Lani would have to get closer to get away. His eyes flashed to the stairs. Which one of them would be faster. Lani wouldn’t give Odion the satisfaction of seeing him run. He dropped his eyes and moved as if Odion wasn’t even there.

[Odion Martins]

Every door looked the same. There was nothing significant about the way any of the apartment doors looked, but Odion could feel it. He pressed his hand to the door he knew housed Lani. He reeled back just as quickly, knowing he wasn’t welcome, knowing that things between them could never be and would never be the same unless he manipulated time to do his dirty work, and he wasn’t going to do that. The very fact that Lani would not be ecstatic to see him once Odion did find him, said that Odion truly had not changed what had happened. He was now simply trying to deal with what had occurred.

Lani looked as shell shocked as Odion felt. And he looked... different, better than he had before. Odion’s mouth opened in shock and then shut again, wondering how different he looked now too. It killed Odion to see Lani go through those emotions in his head, only to have them displayed on his eyes. He knew this was going to hurt, but he had no idea it was going to hurt this much. God, what had he done? He looked at Lani expectantly, waiting for an outburst, a power surge, something... anything. He had never meant to hurt Lani, and he promised he never would and that was why he had to come back as soon as things began to make sense. It wasn’t the fact that Lani had tried to force Odion to meet his parents which caused them to break up, but that had been the trigger into the rest of the actions Odion regretted the moment they resurfaced.

It was a strange feeling, being a zombie and stuck in your own mind. Odion had lived and survived in Europe before, but this time Lani had taken Odion’s heard back to America. Odion stole, Odion lied, Odion continued on, just as time would when someone lost someone dear to them. It was stubbornness that made him stay, but he had immediately changed his mind as soon as he saw the flight schedule at the airport and Lani was already gone. He had changed his mind when he went to purchase the very next flight to Vermont. He changed his mind when he had made plans and arrangements to orchestrate an apology Lani deserved. But then his mind was changed for him when he thought about the pain he had felt upon actually seeing his parents. It was something he wasn’t ready for, and his power had taken over. It was all too much for the bloke, and Odion snapped. Now, he was remembering things in bits and pieces.

Odion knew how Lani felt in this very moment, because he had been in Lani’s shoes once before. He was afraid of who Lani may have gotten attached to while Odion battled himself in Europe. There were no excuses, which was why he was standing here now. He just wanted Lani back in his life, he didn’t want to be that zombie he turned into when he tried to hide from who he had become. He blamed himself for everything and was used to being hated, but if Lani hated him more than he loved him... Odion wasn’t sure what he would do.

Odion didn’t know how to describe what was happening at this very moment. Time was not his friend right now, and it was playing tricks on him. It was almost as though he were viewing things through a tunnel, and the walls of said tunnel were rippling. It was clear Lani didn’t want him here, not now, not ever. But he hadn’t come here just to agree with Lani. He hadn’t before and he wasn’t going to start now. As Lani headed for the stairs and subsequently closer to him, and it took every ounce of willpower he had not to reach out to Lani – Odion knew that Lani would do something he would regret otherwise. “Please Lani,” Odion said, not bluffing at all, “I... I didn’t stay away on purpose.” There was no point in apologizing yet, as he wasn’t sure what he would be apologizing for. He didn’t want to believe this was futile. He couldn’t believe this moment was real! He had seen too many things in the future to let go of the present. He took a deep breath, trying not to pass out. If Lani really wanted nothing to do with him... He would leave.

[Lani Hunter]

It seemed like forever that they just stared at each other. It took him back in time and the memories came to mind as if they had happened days ago and not months. But it also spoke to how much they had changed. Lani had gotten into bar fights and he had had a one night stand and he had forced every bit of Odion from his mind. Adrianna had been his rock, she had helped him see sense where there was none and Avi even too, she had known Odion better than them all, except maybe Lani but even Lani wasn’t sure of that. Oh god, Avinea, she was gonna kill him. Lani bit his lip, and forced his mind to think of how that would be a good thing. He didn’t have to worry about Odion anymore, he shouldn’t worry about Odion anymore but there was still such a large part that still did. And it pissed him off.

Lani sometimes wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t gotten on the plane. If he had waited and tried to speak to Odion, maybe they wouldn’t be here, but that wasn’t what had happened. Lani had been too hurt and too angry to force his stubbornness and pride to take a backseat. He knew that it was his fault, he had lied and he had gotten burned. He thought Odion would be able to forgive him, he thought that Odion would understand he was only trying to help him. There was some thought way back those many months ago that Lani had thought that he wanted to give Odion something he’d never had and give him something like Lani had. He’d known when they landed in Ireland that Odion would be mad, but he never anticipated the war that then ensued. It was as if his mind was working extra hard to root through his memories and dig up all the memories. He wanted to shelter his heart and he had vowed to not let anyone else in. But here was Odion, the anomaly that had forced his way in.

Lani slipped into the staircase as far away from Odion as possible and it was a damn good thing Odion didn’t even move or Lani’s power would have snapped. The telekinetic stopped on the stair, not at the plea but at the excuse. He clenched is jaw and his eyes were misdirected and trying to melt holes in the floor instead of in Odion. Months of anger and pain snapped at such a simple sentence. He jumped back a step and whirled, going to shove Odion as hard in the chest as he could, putting a little bit of his power into it. He retreated as quickly as it had come keeping the stairs to his back for a quick escape. “Bullshit!” He yelled, “Are you really going to stand there and tell me you accidentally stayed in Europe? Is that you’re excuse!?” His eyes burned in fury and he braced himself for a fight be it physical or emotional.

All at once Lani hated him and he loved him, he wanted to take back the attack and he wanted sooth the hurt. Lani blinked hard, he was done sacrificing his happiness for Odion, he was getting a real look at what Lani was like when he was selfishly guarding his own heart. Lani’s face contorted into a snarl as he forced himself to only show anger. “It's been months Odion! Months! Why did you come back!?” Lani’s voice had a touch of desperation in it lurking beneath the surface. He didn’t want to believe that Odion was back, he wanted Odion gone again, because Odion gone he could mourn, but Odion here was like having his heart carved out again and again. Lani was so confused, this was just like last time, Lani had done something and Odion had left, not for several months, but he had left.

[Odion Martins]

Lani was just as graceful as he always had been when he was trying to get away from something or someone. But Odion could see the stiffness in Lani’s muscles, he could see how the telekinetic was trying to keep everything together in an impossible situation. The only reason why Odion was so calm himself was because he knew one of them had to be or this could end in injury. Odion knew that whatever he said, Lani would backlash. All Odion could do when Lani approached was to have one foot behind him in order to brace the impact. He would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt, in many ways, and Lani had grown stronger and more twisted than before. Lani claimed he didn’t want anything to do with him, but Odion knew otherwise.

The redhead dispelled the attack by latching onto Lani’s wrists and pushing them down forcefully and letting go immediately, so as not to hurt the blond, but Odi didn’t want to fall on his arse either. “If you could look at me you would see it isn’t,” bullshit, he meant. He was silent at the next few questions because he knew Lani wouldn’t listen even if he had answered them. Lani was just taking out his frustrations now, and Odion was going to let him. He knew that this wasn’t the first fight he would have to deal with because of coming back to Pilot Ridge.

Heart aching, Odion wished there was something more he could do. He wanted to say he was hurting as much as Lani was, but his pain had been stowed away for months like forgotten baggage. There hadn’t been a soul there to remind him of who he was and whose he was. Seeing Lani had been the closest thing to feeling absolute depression which hadn’t been there before. His memories were slowly revealing that he had cried over Lani in Europe, had resolved into getting him back, and then time would rewind not of his own accord and it was like his resolve hadn’t occurred at all.

Odion blinked a few times, his eyes glossy. “Do you really think after all we’ve been through I wouldn’t have come back sooner if I could?” He asked, unsurprised and unaffected by Lani’s animalistic reaction. Odion was still bracing himself for another attack, physical or otherwise. Odion felt time slipping, the tunnel vision returning and dissipating again as he fought it to stay in the present. Now that Lani was before him, now that Odion could feel his beloved, there was more reason to fight, more reason to not let this slip away just because it was hurting. Odion wiped at his nose; there was blood on the back of his hand. “You think your power is the only one who tries it’s hand at self-preservation?” In other words, it was trying to become it’s own entity, like Lani’s telekinesis, and Odion had to fight it every day to keep it a part of him, which obviously hadn’t been going well.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani huffed a little and bounced back as his attack was foiled. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as he wanted it to be but also the idea that he had just tried to attack Odion made him sick and his heart begged for some sort of end to this suffering. What Lani had had when he left Europe had been closure and he had been able to live with that, now Odion was here and that all scattered to the wind. Lani shook his wrists out despite Odion having let go as if to convince himself that he’d done it. He was thinking in terms of combat at the moment and he knew he was lucky, if Odion caught hold Lani wouldn’t be able to break it. He was stronger but he wasn’t sure he was stronger than Odion. Lani shook his head, he was looking but he refused to see. Not after the months he had suffered. No, Odion didn’t get to feel any more pain than Lani did.

It was true, anything Odion said in Lani’s mind would be twisted in what he wanted it to sound like. Odion’s power had blocked him out, Lani would have only felt forgotten, which he had already assumed he was, and he had suffered months without Odion. It didn’t make his pain worse but it helped him feel justified in his rage. The more Lani came to understand the reality that Odion was there, tauntingly out of reach and the show of all of the mistakes Lani had made the more he too had to fight his power. But he’d learned a lot in these past several months. His power and his being reached out to Odion and the redhead was once again a present existence. He redirected his power and swallowed it back, he was too angry, he could blast through a wall with the emotional energy but there was no control.

“I don’t know what to think anymore!” Lani snapped back. “What I know is that you decided there should be an entire ocean between us!” He jabbed a finger accusingly at Odion, but Lani wasn’t quite done yet. “You never change! I screwed up and you left me! For Rhett! What did you finally get bored with him too? You know, you’re no better than he is, coming back like this!” Yes, over the course of these seven months Lani had convinced himself that Odion was back with Rhett. It had made it slightly easier to see Odion as the enemy rather than someone lost. Those were low blows and Lani knew it, this wasn’t fair. Why was he the only one furious? Odion had certainly had a lot to say the day they broke up, they both had. But Lani’s voice was the only one raising and he seemed to be the only one furious. Lani was taken aback as Odion wiped blood from his nose. He was torn between offering help and standing idle and watching as someone he love – used to love bleed. Swallowing down his worry and care he raised his chin and glared.

Lani knew he had really fucked things up back in Europe and he was almost glad Odion was here to blame him for it. Adrianna and Avinea hadn’t let him blame himself and here he was. He just stared at Odion and the blood on his hand. Lani’s anger was washing through him in waves leaving gaping troughs of anguish and sadness that he didn’t know how to handle. So he became more angry because he couldn’t figure out what was going on in his own head. Every word he threw out was accusing and painful, but he wanted Odion to leave him alone and to do that required hurting the time turner. “Stop. Odion, just… stop. I don’t care what excuses you have.” He turned away, he needed Odion gone because Odion here was killing him. “Just… leave.” He turned back on the stairs wanting to be away from Odion before Odion had the benefit of seeing his tears.

[Odion Martins]

Yes Odion blamed himself, but Lani had left as much as Odion had stayed. It took two people in order to get hurt, and if Lani really wanted to try and convince himself that he was better off alone, then he would have to try and talk to someone else about that. Odion wasn’t here to fight, he was so tired of fighting. He just wanted Lani to know the truth and to hand out the options. If Lani wanted to ignore them and pretend like Odion didn’t exist, then he wasn’t the man Odion thought he was.

Odion’s dark eyes flared in just as much rage as Lani had displayed. He scoffed and shoved Lani’s accusatory finger away. “And you decided the same thing.” Again, it took two in order to feel this way and Odion wasn’t satisfied that Lani could put the entire blame on him. He wasn’t the one who had tricked himself into seeing his parents. If Lani would’ve simply talked to him about it first, Odion would’ve explained why that wasn’t an option. Their love was so new, there were already so many emotions with that, but adding that to the hatred he had of his parents? Love and hate in that instant were too far and wide for Odion to have a strong hold on reality.

But Lani had to go and push every button, - you never change, play every card - Rhett. He felt his stomach twist into knots and swallowed hard. “I have changed Lani, and you know this because you helped me become a better man.” Odion sighed, shaking his head. “You know that. And you know I’ve been over Rhett for a very long time, I chose you over him, I always will. Over anyone...” Now he was blubbering and Lani wasn’t listening anyways, so he shut his mouth into a thin line.

Caroline couldn’t have seen this playing out, it wasn’t her fault. Odion wasn’t sure what Lani had been doing this whole time, but it seemed that lying to himself was the way to go. The telekinetic looked surprised, and Odion could only look wary. He really was tired of fighting. A part of him wanted to fight back, to tell Lani he was so desperately wrong that what he was convincing himself of could be proven akin to insanity, but Odion didn’t want that. He was trying to prove that he loved him.

Stop. Just leave. It was like the entire floor beneath him had shifted; Odion’s whole body spasmed forward. He knew this moment, he knew this was where he could lose Lani forever. “You do care,” Odion said, his faith in Lani unwavering, “and you... I...” But Lani had already turned away, and Odion retreated, taking a step back even though it was the opposite of what he wanted to do. He’s better off without you. The tears fell from his eyes as he watched the back of Lani’s form. “I’ve been lost without you.” He wasn’t ready to lay down and die and watch Lani leave. He didn’t care if he pushed Lani and ended up getting hurt, it couldn’t be worse than what he was experiencing right now.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. What he had been avoiding before, making Lani angry, Odion knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer. It was perhaps, the only way to get through that thick skull Lani had. “If I had been in a coma for the last few months, would you still be angry with me?” He stepped forward and broke into Lani’s personal space, guard down. “You really believe I’d be stupid enough to come back here if I could remember what happened?” Odion looked at Lani with sad eyes, expecting the worst.

[Lani Hunter]

It was true and it hurt. Odion didn’t have to stay, but Lani also didn’t have to get on that plane. Lani didn’t want to hear anything Odion had to say and every second the time turner was there he was overwhelming Lani’s senses. He knew what Odion was to him, what Odion would always be to him. The pain was still to fresh, the wounds too deep, and Lani’s stubborn heart fought tooth and nail to keep itself safe in its icy shell. If this was what love was supposed to be Lani didn’t want any of it. He wanted to be lonely, at least he would learn to live with the pain, this was all new and ever changing. Lani did his best to hide his whirlwind of emotions, but he knew it was futile. Odion had always been able to see past his masks. But Odion had come from his mountain to consult with the tornado and the tornado did not like to listen to reason and it did not pull any blows.

It was true. When Lani had met Odion, he had thought the redhead was the biggest ass in the world. The memories ran through him, Odion had changed. There was no doubt about that. Lani wasn’t sure how much of that was him and how much of that was growing up. He couldn’t look at Odion, it was too painful to see the pain he was causing and the effort Odion was putting into this. Though Odion’s words were calm and rambling they struck Lani as if Odion had sharpened each one and flung it with all of his strength. Me too, Lani’s heart called and his mind bit down on the truth and shoved it back violently. He reminded it will little effort the agony letting in the redhead had done. “Odion… don’t. Don’t do this to me.” He pleaded resorting to anything that would get the redhead to leave him here. The lights flickered as his power slipped and the dragon raged lashing out at anything it could get its claws on.

Lani’s fury was far reaching and there was no one exempt. Odion was the one person he trusted most in the world and he had been betrayed. It had taken a lot of help from his sister to get him to even more past the stagnant stages. It was probably safer that Lani didn’t know Caroline was part of why Odion was here, he would be heartbroken. He could never stay made at her but he certainly would be furious. He didn’t like to think of what he might do in this state and he hated that Odion was here and Lani hated that he wanted this to be real. It had been like this even when they were dating, the constant fighting, Lani didn’t realize he was the only one fighting this time. He shook his head stubbornly and glared like Odion had just accused him of something. Lani just wished he had enough strength and willpower to leave Odion where he stood.

Lani turned back and his eyes met with Odion’s. “You think I wasn’t?” His voice lost its strength and his throat clogged with unshed tears, “I couldn’t…” He dropped his eyes and took a deep breath, this was so confusing, oh god, his heart was going to die. Odion was… is… was?... his everything and when he was gone Lani had had to crawl his way out of the hole on his own. He bit his tongue and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I had to find my way on my own, maybe it’s time you do the same.” He snapped as it came to mind and his anger lashed out with it. In that moment he wanted to tell Odion everything that had happened in his absence. His boss was behind bars, Lani had testified, legally, the whole thing had been strange. And he’d had to explain to Avi what happened. That had been a wreck. Part of Lani wanted to reach out and touch Odion, touch his face and verify that he wasn’t actually hallucinating.

When it really came down to it Lani was glad to see Odion. It meant that Odion was alive and, well, Lani wasn’t sure he could call either of them well. “That’s not fair, Odion,” Lani said desperately, because he didn’t have an answer, he didn’t want to think about it. If Odion had been trying to make Lani angry, that ship had already sailed. He wasn't the same person he'd been when Odion and he were dating, he didn't know if he could go back to that person. The Lani Odion was speaking with now was numb and hardhearted. Lani shied away when Odion approached and put his hand out, holding Odion at arm’s length. Lani could feel the firm muscle under his hand and it was so easy to remember the feel of their embrace and how protective and protected it had been. Lesson learned, no one could be trusted to protect his heart but himself. “Don’t you understand?” Lani cried in frustration, “You don’t remember, but I do. I remember every fucking second without you! Wishing, dreaming, hoping you'd come back! I told myself you were never coming back!”

He had forced Odion away unintentionally before so why when Lani was trying so to push him away wasn’t Odion bending. What was worse was that Lani wasn't sure what he wanted Odion to say, Lani was the one who screwed it up, it wasn't Odion's fault, Odion had all the right to leave after the stupid thing Lani pulled, but at the same time Lani was hearing that Odion was suffering as much Lani was and it was a hard pill to swallow because that meant he had been wrong. All these months working to convince himself that Odion didn't love him, simply because the alternative was too hard to take. Love was a folly, love was pain, love was something Lani didn't want anything to do with.

[Odion Martins]

Odion bit his lip at Lani’s silence, which was never a good thing because that meant Lani was blaming himself for everything again. For some reason he thought it was easier to carry the world on his shoulders than actually learn new ways to deal with problems. But Odion didn’t regret reminding Lani that Odion could not always be the pursuer, especially when his mind had cracked and time had unknowingly shifted in his eyes. Perhaps it was a good thing Lani did come back, who knew what would have happened had he stayed and Odion couldn’t even remember who he was, or did momentarily before losing it all over again. It was why he was so tired.

Patient as always, Odion only took his time and watched Lani. Yes there was anger and disbelief, and there had been a time Odion had told Lani all about the personality his telekinetic power had. But Lani was bigger than that too, Odion wasn’t the only one who had changed. Beside the anger and desperation was joy and goofiness, Lani had simply forgotten about it. Lani had always managed to straggle the truth out of Odion, but now the redhead gave it freely. Besides, these truths weren’t new, Lani already knew them, and that is why he now finds himself in so much pain. “Don’t do what? Leave you again?” Odion shook his head. “I promised I never would, and if I hadn’t lost it...” Well, they both knew the rest, the current history they both now faced.

“No, I know you are.” They were both lost without each other. Odion wished that Lani wouldn’t cry, he wasn’t sure he would be able to stay away from the blond if that happened. Odion laughed, a pitiful thing that was born and then died in his mouth. “Since when is anything fair?” There was no use in complaining over it. Hell, they had probably done many things during these last few months they otherwise wouldn’t have done had things turned out a little differently. But they hadn’t. This was what they had to work with; besides, things had never been fair to begin with.

Odion glanced down. The very fact that Lani was touching him was encouragement enough – oh had Odion had missed Lani’s presence. It didn’t last long, but it was a start. “But I am back. So tell me what you remember, so I can make up for what I’ve done.” There was no other way. Odion would have to relive everything Lani had gone through in order to truly understand. If Lani really wanted payback, really wanted to torture the time turner, this was the right way to do it.

Just then, Odion reached out his hand to touch Lani’s face, but stopped midway through the gesture, his hand falling flat at his side. This wasn’t going to be easy. Everything that seemed natural and normal to him would not feel the same way to Lani. Odi looked down and put his hands in his pockets to ease some of the temptation. “It’s hard to explain what happened after you came back here.” It truly was, Odion wasn’t sure he even understood it himself. But he wasn’t going to bombard Lani with explanations he would see as excuses. This was something he needed to sleep on, to think about. If all else failed, Lani would always find him if and when he was ready.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani didn’t understand, what had he done that had caused him to be dealt such pain? Why was this happening to him? There were multiple theories about the afterlife and if reincarnation was true then Lani wanted to go back and destroy his previous lives, if not and this was brand new Lani wanted desperately to know why he had been chosen to be tested like this. He closed his eyes. He didn’t have the worst life in the world, he knew, but did that mean he couldn’t wallow in misery. It felt as if the world was crashing to pieces all around him and it was all he could do to not shatter with it. There was so much pain between them, Lani wasn’t sure if he could get over it. Odion might not remember, but Lani’s heartache had been long and it had taken a lot to fight his way out of the dark and now it was all slipping back. He had made promises to himself to protect against feeling this way again, it all seemed futile now as Odion was back and it was like the defenses Lani built were made of paper and Odion’s mere presence pushed into his heart.

Lani’s head was aching from the strain of holding in tears and holding back his power. “Yes,” Lani blurted, in other words, don’t dangle this hope in front of Lani. Lani clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. His heart wanted to believe, he wanted to believe that it was an accident that if Odion had been able to be here he would be here. He shook his head, not sure what he was denying, the words or himself or the fact that this was real. Maybe this was all a dream, a horrible nightmare. Maybe he would wake up and he’d be alone and there would be no Odion. Maybe he would wake up and Odion would be there to dispel his fears. Lani bit his tongue, maybe his sanity was slipping, but he wished this wasn’t as it was now. “We’ve both broken promises,” Lani acknowledged not telling Odion that he was forgiving him but instead unconsciously attempting to share the blame, that which he held on Odion and that which he held upon himself.

Letting out a burst of air, Lani crossed his arms and did his best to shield himself. Odion had taken his past tense and warped it present and he wasn’t wrong. Lani’s eyes raked over Odion, taking him in and writing him into his memory. “Never,” Lani agreed with a huff, “Not for us at least.” He wanted to turn away, he wanted to run but something kept him rooted here. Maybe it was the hope that Odion was telling the truth, he wanted to believe he wanted everything to be as it was before! But that could not be. Not with so much between them. Odion might now be a few feet away but their hearts were separated by miles and miles of no-man’s land. Odion was braving the mines and pikes to cross and Lani was retreating constantly deeper into his trenches.

Shaking his head like a dog, Lani denied Odion his request. “That won’t fix anything,” he said his voice rising again, “It’s over. Done. Dammit Odion! Damn you!” He cursed Odion as he had for so many nights following his own return. Lani’s hand knew Odion was real, not a ghost or a hallucination. He put a hand up over his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose to banish the tears and leave more room for the anger. Odion was back, he was back and Lani didn’t want him to go anywhere. “Damn you. You’re back, but things cannot be as they once were.” He forced the words out because Odion wasn’t getting it. Lani had sealed away his heart and he was getting over Odion, but Odion was back. Lani couldn’t forget, he couldn’t let Odion in again so easily. Lani still had a lot to work through before he could even give Odion a straight answer. Lani was lost, but he had been working on finding himself and he wanted to see who he was before he did anything else.

Lani took his hand away in time to see Odion’s hand and his eyes flash dangerously. Luckily for both of them Odion stopped midway through. Lani gritted his teeth and took a step back increasing the distance between them. Lani knew how Odion’s power worked and it honestly made sense that his power would skip time without him saying so. It had happened before and they had gotten through it. Lani wanted to help, reach out his power to offer a hand something for them both to hold onto, but he didn’t partially because he wasn’t completely sure his power wouldn’t throw Odion across the hall. Lani scoffed and crossed his arms looking at Odion with what he hoped was a pitiless stare. “Fine. Don’t explain anything to me,” he snapped, “Your power was giving you hell but everything’s all better now? Is that it? Everything’s just fine for you now!” It was harsh, but it was as close as Lani was going to get to asking if Odion was alright now, at least for as far as his power was concerned.

[Odion Martins]

They say that only those with great determination are dealt the loftiest hand at life. They were young, everything, the whole world, was before them. It was in this time that people made their greatest choices, the ones that would shape and define them. But Odion didn’t really believe in any of that, as he had shaped his fate himself. And yet, he also didn’t believe in accidents. Everything was too meticulous, meetings too conveniently placed at the right time, for him to believe that things were a random anomaly. His meeting Lani that fateful day was not random chance, otherwise, why had he fought so hard to keep Lani in his life when he had so willingly let all others go? Perhaps Lani was trying to give Odion a gift in Ireland, but what the telekinetic didn’t realize was that he had already given Odion the greatest gift in the world. He already had a family – Lani’s.

Odion wished things didn’t have to be this way, but they were. He was pushing through the circumstances not because he was an optimistic person, far from it, but because he truly believed there was something special when he was with Lani. “I’m here. I came back. I know that doesn’t excuse the long term absence, but I can’t... no, I won’t, undo it.” He couldn’t undo it at the moment now even if he wanted to. He hoped that Lani would see that because he was suffering so much it meant that Odion cared, because he there might be the possibility that Lani wouldn’t be experiencing any of this if Odion simply took it all away. Odion simply nodded in agreement to the admonition – promises were hard to keep between meta humans with unruly god-like powers.

Lani was protecting himself against the truth and Odion knew it. He knew it because it was true for him as well. The statement wasn’t meant to be accusatory, but Lani was on the defensive so Odion decided then and there to let it go. Again, Odion nodded. It wasn’t fair, but if Lani was involved in this unfairness, then Odion would accept it. Odion knew that things would never be the same between them, he could only hope that there would be a between, that something could exist there. Maybe something better. He knew achieving something like that would not be easy, he knew it would not happen in a day. Loyalty was everything to Lani. Trust, and loyalty. Those were big concepts that Odion knew he would have to repair little by little.

Stunned into silence, Odion hadn’t a clue what to say or do. Did Lani really want things to be over between them? His words said yes but everything else was a resounding no. Odion thought it would be wise not to ask if that was what Lani truly wanted, because he was being selfish and was afraid of the answer. He wanted to think that he knew what was best for Lani, but that was the blond’s decision and no one could make it for him. Odion couldn’t help but feel hurt, that Lani was blaming him for his power relapse, like he had asked to be away for so long. But he swallowed the feelings, something he had gotten better at over the months. Lani was protecting himself, and in all reality, Odion was protecting himself too, by being quiet. “Okay,” Odion said as a softly as he could. Though, did that mean that things could be? Maybe they couldn’t be as they once were, but if they could be... That would be amazing.

Odion sighed, rubbing his face with both hands. “No, it’s not all better now.” He said, knowing that this could last all night if they let it continue. For instance, he had little to no control over time at the moment, and he was literally living off a hope and prayer right now. A confused smile crossed the ginger’s face and as he spoke his mind, “I want to try and explain Lani, I just said it was hard.” His dark eyes caught Lani’s and he could see that Lani was also tired. Tired of playing games with himself and everyone around him and pretending like everything was okay when it was not. But Odion understood that his returning was a blessing and a curse for the telekinetic... If only he had been able to explain sooner... “But you’re not listening to me right now,” he held Lani’s eyes with his own, just, waiting. Lani was upset that Odion hadn’t purposefully stayed behind all this time, was upset that Odion could still read him fairly accurately.

[Lani Hunter]

There were two options, Lani figured, that he had at hand. He could give in and try to go back to the way things were, silently resenting Odion, or he could push the redhead away now to prevent hurting himself or Odion further. Lani hadn’t told anyone but Caroline about what happened, his mother still routinely asked if he heard from Odion at all. He’d spilled his broken heart on Caroline and his little sister had temporarily become his crutch. It had been a lot for the little girl to take on her shoulder but to Lani’s surprise she had grown strong enough to help him carry his pain. She was going to be fourteen this coming summer and he couldn’t even imagine the person she had become. He didn’t know she kept talking to Odion, but her heart was kind and she would try to fix whatever happened, sometimes she was too much like her older brother for anyone’s good.

Lani’s heart thawed and he wanted to take Odion in his arms. He was back, he was here. He was here! Here and all Lani could think of to do was to scream at him. His hands quivered and he wanted to reach out and touch Odion, feel his skin, trace the contours of his face. Here. He was so confused. He was screaming at Odion to leave but his heart was begging him to stay. Why was his heart so eager to be hurt again? The more gently Odion spoke in contrast to the harsh snap of Lani’s voice the more it became hard to fight against the heart and his head was failing. Problem was, he wasn’t sure he wanted the heart to win. He bit his lip and didn’t say anything. It was Odion’s was of taking responsibility. He could, but he wouldn’t. It was something Odion had always done when things got hard, it had always showed that Odion cared, Lani had just been too blind to see it. If Odion went back and erased the bad memories, what they had was a lie. Odion wanted this to be a real.

Could two thieves really live without lies? The question haunted Lani long into the night when he first came back and he had decided that they couldn’t. But now Odion was back. Lani narrowed his eyes and kicked himself mentally. Okay. Well, they agreed on one thing at least. Had this been Odion’s goal tonight? To find out if he still meant anything to the telekinetic? Lani was trying to convince Odion and to convince himself that he didn’t mean anything. He had gotten very good at lying to himself but face to face with Odion he knew he couldn’t keep it up. He couldn’t look at Odion and tell himself that Odion wasn’t worth the world to him. There was still so much bad blood between them. Maybe, Lani considered, maybe over time he could learn what it was to love again. Or he could at least try.

Worry flashed across Lani’s face and he quickly covered. He didn’t want to give Odion an in anywhere on anything. Odion’s eyes rose to meet Lani’s and he felt as though he were falling into those eyes. He dropped his eyes and shook his head only to snap them back up at the accusing tone. His eyes flashed. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say!” He snapped and he made to shove Odion away. He shook his head and had to pinch his nose to hold back tears again and he was failing. "Oh God! I’m sorry!" He blurted covering his face with his hands. Down the hall a door slammed open and an individual poked their head out. “Hey! I’ve got a baby sleeping in here can you have your breakup somewhere else!” The door slammed and Lani swallowed hard. "I can’t, I can’t think right now. I can’t. Go away, I’m sorry, I can’t… I need to be alone. I need to think.” he couldn’t breathe, what was wrong with him? That was twice now he’d physically tried to push Odion away. He felt like he was slipping, drowning. His heart raced and his lungs tightened. Everything was just falling apart. He just wanted Odion to leave. Not forever, just right now, but what came out next didn't sound like it. "Just stay away from me!" He shouted, trying to hurt Odion to keep himself from hurting Odion further. He wasn't sure Odion would forgive him for this, but he was dug in too deep. To hell with appearing strong, Lani fled taking the stairs two at a time away from Odion.

[Odion Martins]

Odion didn’t know what to do. One second Lani was telling him to go just for tonight, and the next he was apologizing. And then they were interrupted and Odion really had to hold his tongue, instead of blaming the bystander of bad parenting. After glaring at the slammed door, he quickly looked back to Lani, who now had that fight or flight look on his face and Odion knew Lani would be choosing the latter. Go away. Leave It was all he was hearing tonight, but it wasn’t what he was seeing. He watched as Lani flew up the stairs, tears streaming down his face, and that had been enough to make Odion stay at the bottom of the flight, waiting until he couldn’t hear Lani anymore.

Wiping at his own tears, Odion headed out the same way he came in. Lani didn’t want him here, and there was nothing Odion could do about that right now. All he could do was know that he had tried. Odion felt numb inside. He wanted to do the right thing, and this was what he received. He didn’t blame Lani, he didn’t blame anything. He just wished he could comfort his best friend right now, wished there had been more to say, or some way to prove himself. But he was trying, and if Lani wasn’t listening, it didn’t matter what he said. Sighing, Odion just hoped that curiosity would get the better of Lani, and then, and only then, could they actually talk about things.

Much like on a previous occasion, Odion found the nearest wall and slumped against it, letting his bodyweight and gravity take him the rest of the way down. Lani had always been there for him, had seen him at his worst. Had seen him when he was ready to kill himself and Lani hadn’t know it. Had seen him when he was ready to let everything go, but Lani had given Odion a reason to hang on. Even now, Odion was hanging on just for him. Sniffling, Odi took out his phone and sent a new text to Caroline.

Odion: It didn’t go as badly as I hoped: he only hit me twice and told me to go away about a dozen or so times.

He sent the text, which was quickly follow by another.

Odion: You’re sweet to think this would work Caroline, but I’m not so sure your brother is keen on the idea.

Lani wasn’t his tonight, and probably wouldn’t be for a while. Odion sighed, wiping at his face one last time before picking himself up again. He had dressed up in order to feel better about himself, about everything that had just happened, but that trick simply did not work tonight. For now, Odion was going to go drown his sorrows in coffee rather than liquor. He smiled to himself slightly, opening the door of the exit roughly. See world, he has changed!

His phone went off and he checked it quickly, and his smile widened.

Caroline: Just give him some time, you’re good at that.

Yeah, he was.