Is it So Much to Ask? [Sean]

[Candence Waterson]

Well, she'd thought the top shelf of the cleaning closet would be a good place to hide. She'd even managed to set some things in front of her, so they partially hid her. Sure, it had been a tight squeeze, but she hadn't been called the champion at hide'n'seek at her old school for nothing. The flexibility helped...

Candence had even thought she'd managed to pull it off, too, because a good twenty minutes had gone by unbothered. She fully intended to have an explanation ready, for if she was questioned about it the next day, or even later that night. She'd forgotten, or she'd been not feeling well, or something.

But no. Someone had gone and ruined everything-- opened the door and called her out. Moved the things hiding her when she didn't respond, so it was clear they knew she was there. And she couldn't just refuse to come out, could she? If she did that, then her parents would definitely be called. She sighed, aggravated at the whole situation as she followed the retriever guy. She hadn't listened to what his name was. Probably some guard or whatever.

But now she had to go to her counseling session. There was no getting around it. If she weren't worried about them calling her parents, she would have bolted, just run off and climbed a tree outside or something. But there was no way her parents could be told she did something like that. She had to blend in.

Blend in. That was it. If she could just pretend to be perfectly adjusted and collected, then she wouldn't need anymore of these sessions, right? She'd managed to convince one of her counselors at her old school of this.

Oh. But no. There was a small kink in that plan. Her counselor was a flipping telepath. She clenched her hands into fists. Who the heck had thought that would be a good idea? What kid would willingly skip into a therapist's office for counseling if they knew the guy could read their mind? Thank God one of her classmates had told her about it. It gave her time to prepare.

Or at least, hope she had prepared. In stories you just had to think about a hard wall, and the person couldn't read your mind, so she could always try that. Or she could just hyper-focus on happy thoughts and try to convince him she was fine that way.  ... Yeah. That would work. He'd been telepath-ing for how many years, and she'd just manifested how long ago? Yeah. No problems there.

"All right, this is Dr. Neville's office," the guard guy said, motioning to a door.

Candence gave a stiff nod. "Thanks." She waited for him to go away, but he didn't. So, she cleared her throat. "Could I have a minute? I won't run off." She offered a faint smile. "Promise. Just need a minute."

The guard hesitated, and for a moment she was afraid he would refuse, but to her relief, he nodded and strode off down the hall. If she guessed right, he would probably be waiting around the corner, in case she did try to bolt.

Which she sorely tempted to do now. She reached up to knock on Dr. Neville's door, balked, and took a step back, eying the door with extreme prejudice. Then it occurred to her that he could already be telepath-ing her from here, the door probably had as much say as she did in the matter. She closed her eyes and let out a breath, focusing on clearing her mind and being calm. Pasting on a smile, she tapped on the door. Just like on the stage-- keep the mask on.

"Dr. Neville? It's Candence!"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Some students sought Sean out of their own free will, yearning to speak to an adult with more life experience and psychiatric training than they had. Some students came to his office with a sense of dull resignation, not thrilled with their fate but realizing that there existed no alternatives. Some students ran and tried to hide.

Cadence had tried to hide. This came as no surprise to the telepath, since Emrys had explicitly warned him that she would do anything in her power to avoid meeting with him. He had prepared for this, insofar as notifying security that he had made an appointment with her, and that if she did not arrive in a timely fashion, then they might need to find her.

Of course, Sean preferred when the students arrived without the threat, or presence, of security to motivate them. That show of force could undermine the trust relationship that he tried to build with everyone who came through his office. However, the psychiatrist was a pragmatist, and he conceded the necessity of escorts in certain situations.

At least the security guard had found her. Her announcement confirmed that.

He glanced at his watch, and then called out to her. “Yes, Cadence, please come in and make yourself comfortable.” The security guard knew to shut the door once she was safely inside.

[Candence Waterson]

"Please come in and make yourself comfortable."

Make herself comfortable. Yeah right.

Candence banished the negative thought a moment later, determined to get this right. This new psychiatrist would be no different than any of the other people she'd talked to-- She just wouldn't be able to mentally growl about various things while talking to this one. A new layer to her mask.

After this brief pep talk to herself, and, admittedly, another glance down the hall in hopes that maybe she could try making another run for it, she pushed the door open and stepped into the office. She glanced around the room briefly, noted that it seemed pretty normal, then quickly focused on the Doctor Neville. Dang, he was tall.

"Hello," she greeted him with a perfected warm affect and an offered handshake. "Sorry I'm late... I..." She paused for a split second, turning over in her head whether or not she could get away with the "I forgot" excuse. Nah, probably not a good idea. "Well, I was a little nervous about coming," she finished with a "bashful" laugh. "I've never had a telepathic psychologist before. A little silly, I guess." She shrugged and sat primly on one of the chairs, carefully monitoring her manner to reflect a friendly, albeit somewhat shy, front. "Thank you for waiting for me, though," she added with a "grateful" smile. "It's good to meet you."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean knew how the invitation could come across, but he was sincere in that. It might not be easy, but he did want the students to find comfort in his office, even if it took them several visits (and some never found the ability to relax completely). It was the goal.

The psychiatrist appreciated that Candence did not voice the thoughts that she had on that topic. That would make interactions smoother, since his policy was to give students a pass for their thoughts (both in the interest of fairness and in the interest of maintaining the illusion of privacy). This way, they could get off on the right foot, even if she was less than thrilled to be here in the first place.

As such, he smiled at her, taking her hand in order to complete the handshake. “Hello, Candence; it’s nice to meet you.”

The first of the formalities were out of the way.

His reputation had preceded him, which happened frequently enough. His powers were hardly a secret, and her brother had met with him many times over the years. “I hear that often enough,” he replied, which was true. There were relatively few telepaths and even fewer of them became mental health professionals. “It’s nothing to be nervous about.” He believed that in his heart of hearts.

“How are you today?” His question was gentle, a mild opening gambit.

[Candence Waterson]

Candence kept her hands folded neatly on her lap, keeping up the calm smile despite her less than calm thoughts.

Hear that often enough... Of course he did. Nothing to be nervous about... Oh sure there wasn't. It wasn't as if he'd actually say if there was something to be nervous about. Psh, what was there not to be nervous about in this situation? She didn't like psychologists and their nosey questions to begin with, but she'd managed to get used to them. Why? Because she'd figured out how to keep her thoughts off her face, how to be the perfect actress.

Now she had a whole different layer of situations like this to dislike. Darn meta-ness. Dang telepathy.

But she couldn't let that show, now could she? No-- sweet/shy smile, serenely crossed legs, aaaand... answer opening question.

"I'm doing good today, actually." She tilted her head "thoughtfully". "I think being here with other metas has been helpful. You know, around other people like me, getting training that I need. Being closer to Emrys." There we go-- throw her brother in there... He'd been seeing Dr. Neville too, so that couldn't hurt. "I understand having to have one of these little evaluation check-up things though, just to make sure." She nodded seriously. "How long do you think it will take?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean fundamentally disagreed about the risk assessment during this meeting, both due to the difference in perspective and because he knew himself, whereas she did not, and he had no reason to be suspicious of the mental health profession. He also had decades of life experience beyond Candence’s, and he had no history of traumatic events in his life, nothing that began to approach what had happened to her when she had been young.

Of course, that was the reason for this meeting. The initial assessment, followed by his proscription for regular sessions. Given what he already knew from her file and from her brother, the psychiatrist planned for weekly sessions, unless she revealed a secret that would require more frequent meetings than that.

Still, he wanted to do the assessment, and he wanted to give her the ability to grow used to him. Comfortable would take more time, and Sean accepted that.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. She was everything that Emrys had described, and he kept his attention split between her word choices and deliberate behavior, and then the uncertainty and discomfort present in her thoughts. “I’ve always found that it’s helpful being around other meta-humans, although it can take some adjustment.”

Which would provide the necessary segue.

“It should take about a half hour,” he informed her, before moving on. “And how are you getting on with your roommates?”

[Candence Waterson]

Candence hoped very much that regular sessions wouldn't be proscribed. Not only did she consider it a waste of time sitting around while someone tried to get her to talk about feelings and whatever while she could be doing much more useful things, but she just disliked the idea. Period.

However, she had a feeling she would be forced to do a few meetings. Probably because this Doctor Neville person didn't have anything better to do. Well, or maybe he just wanted to make it look like he was proficient in his job. Or both. Either way it would be unpleasant, and she would very much argue the point if it came down to it. Meh.

She nodded in agreement to his statement about it being helpful to be around other meta-humans. Sure, she hadn't found it particularly fun to be surrounded by a bunch of fellow freaks, but at least being around fellow "freaks" meant not getting teased about her freak-ness. "Yes, I think I've adjusted well already, too. People have been very helpful." She smiled.

Half an hour. She could deal with that. Then she could go make up for lost time and study or practice dance or something.

"My roommates are pretty cool," she replied, meeting his gaze respectfully as she did so. "I've hung out with two of them quite a lot. One I don't know as well, but it's just because our paths haven't crossed that much yet. Colten and Riana are very nice though." Sure, she hadn't exactly hung out with them "a lot" per se, but she had actually made an effort to hang out with them more than she might have, for backup reference such as this. Social interaction with peers was considered healthy behavior, after all. And God forbid she differ from healthy behavior norms.

She briefly wondered how long Sean had been working at Hammel as a psychiatrist. However, she stowed the question away for later. These people usually asked if you had any questions at the end, and it was considered "healthily inquisitive" if you had questions at that point. So no need to spend all her questions now. No, just answer his questions, make a good impression, and get as few meetings scheduled as possible. That was the goal here.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Unfortunately for Cadence, regular sessions were in the cards for the foreseeable future. Her past experiences, both with the expectations of her parents and the kidnapping and resulting trauma, ensured that Sean wanted to keep an eye on her. However, he hoped that she would gain something meaningful from those meetings, and, as time progressed, they would lessen in frequency. As had his meetings with so many students over the years. Not for a lack of other pursuits on his point, but from deep concern for the wellbeing of the students themselves. As clichéd as it might be, the psychiatrist cared.

In the scheme of time, half an hour was a drop in the bucket. There were 48 thirty-minute periods each day, 336 half-hour periods in a week, 17,520 half-hour periods each year. If Candence graduated on time, there would be 70,080 such periods during her time at Hammel. Half an hour was nothing by comparison. Yet, half an hour was enough time for the psychiatrist to make his initial assessment and for them to work out a meeting schedule.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Sean replied honestly. He was always glad to hear that the students were having an easy adjustment time. Not every student was so fortunate, and many of the students with whom he met started due to adjustment problems, or for other reasons that the poor adjustment period compounded. Moreover, he was glad to hear (from her thoughts) that she had made an effort to spend time with two of her roommates. “What have you been doing with them?”

He also overheard her other thought, regarding his length of employment. He would give her the opportunity to ask questions when he had finished with his part of the assessment meeting. If she wanted to spend that on his career at Hammel, he wouldn’t stop her.

[Candence Waterson]

Whether Dr. Neville did or didn't care, Candence would stick to her preconceived notions. And, of course, her general dislike of the whole system, both where it concerned psychiatrists as well as the entire Hammel school. She was admittedly stubborn, and would argue the point of regular sessions as far as she could without getting in trouble. However, she had to admit the guy didn't seem too bad yet. Yet. Keyword there, at least in her mind.

Candence nodded cordially at Sean's, "I'm glad to hear that". Of course he was glad to hear it. She wouldn't have said it if he wouldn't have been. She pushed the less than respectful thoughts down as he presented another question. "We go on walks sometimes. Riana's power is speed, so she likes to get out and practice. We're planning on going biking sometime when they get their bikes here. Other than that we mostly just talk." She nodded, then decided to throw one more bit out, to further drive home the point that she was well adjusted, connected with, and whatever to her roommates. "Colton is very interesting to talk with since he knows so many languages. It would be fascinating to be an omnilingualist." Cue amiable smile.

As she swung her neatly crossed leg slightly, she subtly tried to gauge Dr. Neville's opinion of how the assessment was going so far. First impressions were everything, after all, and she wanted to make this would go as well as possible. No use having yet another person worrying over her and being overly protective. So. A good first impression. Which would mean a well placed question right about now, since she hadn't really asked many yet. Something related to the current conversation, but that still made sense...

"I've been wondering, what are the most common metas that you get at Hammel?" She tilted her head. "There are some that are more common than others, right?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean heard her thoughts, including the less flattering ones, before she pushed them to the back of her mind. Emrys has warned him about her behaviors and her inclinations, and the psychiatrist could learn a lot from how she displayed them. He knew of the pressures from their parents; he knew that Candence had spent the lion’s share of her short life trying to be the perfect daughter, conforming to expectations from those around her. She did that well, but it was not what he wanted or needed to see.

He was more interested in her as a person than as the act that she put on the please others and to shield herself.

He made a mental inventory as she rattled off the list of activities she had planned with her roommates. “Good. Do you have the time to sit and talk with them? Or is it mostly going outside to run or do class work?”

Admittedly, that was not a question that Sean often received from students. Presumably the trainers heard it more frequently, or perhaps students asked that of their recruiter on the way to Hammel Perhaps the side-effects specialist heard that question frequently. As a psychiatrist and not as a statistician or researcher, Sean did not have exact figures off the top of his head. However, he had been at Hammel for decades, and he knew what he saw more of than others. He knew what constituted a common power and what constituted a rare one among students, and among his time as a student decades ago. “Shapeshifting is fairly common. As are some of the elemental powers and some of the physical ones, like super strength.”

Certainly, there were journals she could take out of the school library if she was curious. “Why do you ask?”

[Candence Waterson]

Time to sit and talk with them? Heck no, she kept herself plenty busy enough to avoid that. However, it would never do to admit that. "We have some time to sit and talk. Not a whole lot though, because it's usually more interesting to be doing something while we talk, you know?" Speaking of which, she quickly stilled her inadvertently fidgeting hands. She'd been doing so good at not fidgeting, she didn't want to mess up now. Just sitting still and talking was so hard though-- there were a million different things she could be doing. Like homework or dance practice or... She cut herself off and refocused. Later. Later.

Candence nodded as Dr. Neville listed off a few of the more common powers, feigning interest in the same way she'd feigned curiosity on the subject. Not that it was at all a bad thing to know what the more common powers would be.

"Oh, I was just wondering." Candence shrugged. Again with the pretending. It wasn't as if she could up and say she'd asked because she wanted to divert the conversation elsewhere, or because "questions are helpful and show healthy interest and a sound mind". No, she had a feeling neither one of those responses would be acceptable to the psychiatrist. "There are a lot of different powers to keep straight here."

She restrained another fidget, this time in her legs. Yes, the session had just started, but it felt as if it was stretching on for way too long already. To mask the restrained fidget, she uncrossed her legs and adjusted how she sat. That should do for now...

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean did know. Some people liked to remain active as part of their personality type. Others liked to remain active because they were afraid of their own thoughts and did not want to be alone with them when idle or did not want to interact with others on a more intimate – albeit platonic - level. That was what the psychiatrist wished to keep an eye on for her. “I do. But sometimes it can be difficult to talk if people are moving too much, if you know what I mean.” He presumed that she did.

Unfortunately for Candence, and fortunately for Sean’s ability to do his job, he was not so easily distracted. He indulged questions back and forth, because it created a more natural dialogue, but he would not be sidetracked so as to lose sight of the purpose of this meeting. As it was, he had already assessed that she would go into his weekly meeting batch; he had flagged her for that when she had first manifested, based on her past experiences. Given that everything that she had done thus far comported with the warnings that her brother had given to the psychiatrist, this only underscored the need for such meetings. But he would save that news for the end of the meeting, so that she was not more anxious or depressed for the duration of their conversation.

“There are a lot of powers; it’s one of the most diverse areas of human development.” That was true. It was also a topic that the side effects specialist would discuss with her at length, if she showed an interest in doing so; although Sean would not recommend more time with adults and overachieving at this point. Then it was time to bring the topic back around to her. “What powers do you have in your training group?” Students who had recently manifested were put in training groups, in addition to the one-on-one time with their trainers.

[Candence Waterson]

Candence nodded. Yes, moving around too much could be distracting to conversations... not that that was always a bad thing. "Of course!" She smiled. "But it's pretty easy to keep chats going during things like study groups and casual walks, usually." She swung her legs again, heels thumping slightly against the bottom of the chair. "If you think it'd be better to have more conversations while not doing anything else, I can focus a little more on that." She shrugged. "I mean, I think I do a pretty good job of balancing, but I wouldn't mind changing it up a little." Amiable and agreeable and reasonable. Best way to go.

She rubbed the back of her hand as she considered Dr. Neville's question. "Let me think..." she mused, tilting her head slightly. It was an innocent enough question, really, but it sent her scrambling to remember exactly who all was in her group. She had to remember them all-- to prove she was properly social. Right? Of course, she carefully kept all anxiety under a mask of simple pondering, as if it were the easiest thing in the world to recall the other people in her group.

"There's someone who can control air, a person that can camouflage, and..." And... and... who was the other person? She rubbed her hand a little harder. Air, camo ... "Oh! Mimicry!" She breathed a quiet sigh of relief and flashed a smile. "Pretty interesting people. I haven't met anyone else with one like mine yet. Are there a lot of telepath-like powers here? Dream walking and mind control and things?" She'd gotten through the question, so of course it was her turn.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean listened to what she said, which was technically true but also sounded exactly like what he wanted to hear, at least as far as give and take was concerned. “It’s important to make time for yourself and for forming closer bonds,” the psychiatrist said. He knew that she was trying to meet him halfway. He appreciated the ingenuity, although it would not go far enough; he had already put her on his list for additional meetings. He had placed her on that list before she had officially arrived at Hammel, primarily because of the trauma in her past, and secondarily due to the way her parents raised her. But he would hold that to himself, until the end of this session.

“That does sound interesting,” he replied with a thoughtful smile. “Are any of them in your training group, or have you not met everyone there yet?” He wanted to hear as many of her experiences with other people as possible right now.

“There are a fair amount of people with psychic powers.” That was his expertise, outside of psychiatry. “Not as many as those with physical powers or kinetic powers but we aren’t in the vast minority either.” They could stay on this topic for a few minutes, since he thought that it benefited her to be aware of the makeup of the school and to be aware of what she could expect as someone with a mental ability. One that was untrained.

“Students might be a bit wary of some of the mental abilities at first, but they get used to them.” Just as they grew used to those who could phase through solid matter or whose arms might fall off in the middle of a class presentation. There was never a dull moment at Hammel.

[Candence Waterson]

"Right, of course." Candence nodded. Important to make time for herself and to form closer bonds. What if she didn't want to form closer bonds? Was that so wrong? Why did everyone think she should go around making friends everywhere? She wasn't even going to stay at Hammel for that long. Why should she make friends if she was just going to move away? Because she sure as hell wasn't staying in Pilot Ridge when she got out of Hammel. She took a deep breath, silencing her mental tirade and exchanging it for an amiable smile.

She shook her head. "I haven't met much of my training group yet. I'm looking forward to it, though!" She managed the lie with a straight face. "The people in the dance team seem nice, too," she added. "I met them and the instructor the other day."

"So... Are there any measures in place to keep people from roaming around each others' minds? she asked, tentative. On one hand, she didn't want people randomly poking around her thoughts, either on purpose or not. But she also didn't want to be prevented from dream-walking. Really, it was the one good thing that had come of this meta thing.

Candence nodded in agreement. Wary was a good word for it, she guessed. She knew her family thought it was creepy she could enter their dreams, even if they didn't say it outright. So she guessed that it made sense she would think mind-readers were kind've creepy too. Though she was pretty sure mind-reading was quite a bit different from dream-walking.