We're on the same team.. right? (Karalie)

[Marnie Sullivan]

Backdated August 9th, 2014


Nearly two weeks had passed since the dreaded Talk. There had been some chatter amongst the seniors in the days following - whose ideas about sex had been the most off the mark, who'd been caught trying to fit their entire arm into a magnum condom, the usual - but by now it had mostly died down and everyone had gone about their lives. Well, everyone but Marnie, it felt like.

For one thing, she had an appointment with Dr. Neville in a few days. Apparently he'd been able to identify her as the sender of that note about, well, about Lucas. Although she'd deliberately avoided naming names, at this point Marnie knew the doctor would figure it out sooner or later, if he hadn't already. She wouldn't be surprised if he had, the way Lucas decided to act up during the Talk.

But believe it or not, that wasn't what had her head in a fog at the moment. Marnie had submitted two questions for the Talk, and the one about Lucas had only been the second. The first one, the doctor had answered quite ably. But while Marnie came out of it technically more informed, all it had really done was fill her head with more questions.

But where could she go for answers? Google? Sure, that was her first guess. The other day she'd snagged herself one of the corner seats in the computer lab, throwing nervous glances at people who passed by as though she were researching how to make explosives. Turning to the popular search engine but not knowing exactly where to start, Marnie had typed in one word - "bisexual" - and while the first couple of links looked like they might be legitimately helpful, the third one down sounded like what could only be described as pornography and she immediately logged off and fled the lab before the headmistress or the NSA could find her and stamp "SMUT READER" on her forehead.

There was the local bookstore, but that presented its own problems. Even if she knew what to look for, Marnie couldn't pay for anything with cash - she only had a debit card tied to an account that her parents wired money into every month. Could they see what she purchased? She'd never asked, but surely asking now would only raise a red flag.

So here she was, in the library for attempt number three. For the same reason she hadn't bothered with the bookstores, Marnie had no plans to actually check anything out today - not yet anyway - but she could at least take a look, right? And on a Saturday morning like this, the place was just about empty - everybody was off somewhere avoiding their homework, so it was safe for now.

Still, Marnie glanced over either shoulder before selecting from the shelf a book with a rainbow-splashed cover and a nice, safe title ("The Full Spectrum").

[Karalie Heise]

Karalie was, for a change, semi content with her life.  She was never miserable, really.  She had it better than most, even if she was cursed, but she still had a lot going for her and she wasn't so stuck up that she didn't see that.  And of course there was Lucas.  She had a boyfriend now, which made her part of some weird sort of exclusive club of girls who had boys who adored them.  It also made her the type of girl to have to watch and make sure no one else was interested.  Luke was flirty by nature, and though a bit obnoxious, the right girl could fall for his charm.  Hell, she had, and before her so had a handful of others.  But Karalie did her very best not to think of those others if she could help it.  Sure, they popped up once in a while when she accidentally swiped a memory from either Luke or one of his things, but she often pretended like she saw nothing at all.  Those were her crosses to bear, not Luke's.  He was faithful now, so far as she knew.  She realized she would have no clue if he was cheating or not by his memories, though.  There was no saying when they'd happened, but she assumed that if the girls were familiar ones of his past, and they were smiling still, it was before her time.  Just thinking about it made her stomach turn.  

Karalie had a big paper due on civil liberties and she had finally gotten Lucas to leave her alone long enough to get to the library.  If she stayed in her dorm, he would linger.  If she refused to go to his, he would find her.  The library was sort of a no-play zone, so she knew she would be safe as long as she worked there.  Besides, she needed to find a book, a task that she hated severely, but schoolwork was schoolwork whether you were a meta who couldn't control your ability or not.  She braced herself for all the stupid memories she was about to receive and headed to the dreaded building.

After doing some digging, she found the library had a copy of "Civil Rights & Liberties in the 21st Century", which would be a good starting point, since her text book wasn't nearly as much help as she wanted, and she was having a heck of a time googling the things she needed.  While browsing through the aisles, she nearly bumped into someone. When she caught a glimpse of the pale blue eyes her heart stopped and her cheeks flushed furiously.  

There were a few people that Karalie had a hard time looking in the eyes these days, and Marnie was one of them.  How many times had she kissed the other girl? No.. Lucas kissed her? She would open her eyes to see the soft lips belonged to none other than Miss Marnie Sullivan.  It was strange having some of those intimate memories with someone you had never been with, especially when that other someone was a girl like you.  "Marnie."  She smiled politely in greeting and then scooted around the other girl, tucking her long, curly brown hair behind her ear as she passed her.  Her eye caught the front of the girls book, seeing the magenta, blue, turquoise and orange circles scattered across the cover.  She was curious, but had invaded enough into Marnie's personal life for, well, a lifetime.  "Doin' research?" Again she asked politely, not really wanting to talk, but not wanting to be rude either.  There was never an excuse for rudeness unless someone was truly asking for it.

[Marnie Sullivan]

It would be a lie to say Marnie hadn't noticed the other girl appear in the same aisle where she stood; given the nature of what she was looking for, she was almost hyperaware of her surroundings. As soon as she'd heard approaching footsteps and spotted Karalie out of the corner of her eye, Marnie had frozen, hoping that by staying totally still she could go unnoticed.

No such luck.

"Oh, hi, Karalie!" she replied, with forced cheeriness. She wanted to stuff the book back on the shelf and bolt, but surely that would only make her teammate suspicious. Slowly, so slowly as to not draw attention, one hand holding her book slid over the cover to obscure it. A familiar prickling passed over her face; Marnie concentrated carefully to keep her skin its neutral shade, rather than panicking itself into a mishmash of color resembling the spines of the books behind her.

"Yeah, just... working on a report," she lied, smiling a bit too broadly. "Can you believe it? Term only just started and they've already got us doing papers and projects...."

God, I'm rambling, Marnie thought, trying not to grimace. This was stupid - she didn't need to be afraid of Karalie. It wasn't like she was some extension of Lucas now, like she'd run and report every random encounter to the boy... would she? Was Karalie the gossipy type? Marnie honestly didn't know - it wasn't like they really hung out outside of track practice.

Stop. You're freaking out about nothing.

They were in the same section, after all. If Karalie was here to do research, surely she could belive that Marnie was, too. Except Karalie never said she was here to do research, she'd only asked if Marnie was. So what was she doing here?

No. That'd be too much of a coincidence. But, even so, the thought was planted and Marnie couldn't help but wonder.

"So, uh, what are you working on?" she asked, curiosity piqued.

[Karalie Heise]

Seemed Marnie was doing research too.  Coincidence? No, it was a library, what the heck else did kids do there? They found stuff they needed for class, or used the computers because they didn't have them, and some kids probably even found books to read just for fun.  Who had time for that? Certainly not Karalie.  Something about Marnie seemed nervous, and Karalie easily chalked it up to the fact that she was dating the girls ex.  That would make her uncomfortable, that was for sure.  Heck, just being near Marnie made her slightly on edge, but she had better reasons for that than the girl did.

Karalie rolled her eyes at Marnie's question, not at her, but at the answer she hadn't spoken yet.  "Civil Liberties." She said, shaking her head.  "It's, like, we've been in class for wha', five seconds? I've got uh butt ton of stuff tuh do already."  She had to think if Marnie was in her class, but she realized she wasn't.  Didn't mean she didn't have it at another time, or a subject similar.  "Whatcha workin' on?" She asked somewhat curiously, sort of surprising herself with how courteous she was being to this girl she had little interest in being friends with.

[Marnie Sullivan]

Oh, civil liberties? So Karalie actually was here to work on a project. It was difficult to be surprised by the fact - this was a library, after all - but Marnie still felt herself deflate a bit. Although of all the people she might've discovered to be asking the same questions, wondering the same things, well, Karalie was kind of an inconvenient choice.

It wasn't as though she hated the girl. In student activity council meetings, Karalie seemed polite, thoughtful. At track practice she got along just fine with the other runners. More than Marnie did, at any rate, who'd been too nervous to pal around with the team for the better part of a year after joining. Maybe if she'd tried harder to reach out, to get to know everyone, she'd know enough about Karalie to get past the one glaringly obvious fact: that she was dating Lucas. Of all people.

"Um, same," Marnie lied. "I think we might have the same teacher for different periods." Gay issues fell under the "civil liberties" umbrella, right? It made for a more believable excuse than anything she might've come up with on the spot, at least if Karalie had gotten a decent glimpse of the book in her hands and became curious.

[Karalie Heise]

Weird that they were working on the same project at the same time. Or maybe not. Their schedules were probably similar and if Marnie were anything like Karalie, she probably just wanted to get this out of the way as soon as possible. She had bigger and better things to be doing. If she'd liked Marnie more she may have suggested they partner up a bit and do some research together, do the same topic and do half the research, then write their own stuff based on the same literature. Could have been helpful, but truth was it would be weird working with Marnie, so she couldn't be bothered to bring it up.

"Whats yer topic?" She asked conversationally, looking through the books again and ignoring Marnie other than the questions she'd just asked her. She could at least be polite considering they were teammates and also in SAC together, and of course there were classes. Karalie couldn't think off hand which classes she shared with Marnie. The girl didn't exactly make it a habit to be known in class.

[Marnie Sullivan]

Well, she'd walked right into that one.

"Gay, hm, gay marriage," Marnie answered, having to clear her throat suddenly. It was a pretty hot button issue, or at least it was the one she heard most often talked about when it came to LGBT stuff. Even here in Vermont, where it was already legal for same-sex couples to marry, on the national scale Marnie still occasionally heard about it being banned here or legalized there. Why, there were probably students in Karalie's class writing a report on it for real. It wasn't a big deal, it didn't mean anything. So she needed to swallow down that tightness in her throat and calm down. Or at last change the subject.

"What about yours?" sh asked, turning the question back on Karalie. Let the other girl talk about herself, it if meant she wasn't concerned with what Marnie was doing.

[Karalie Heise]

At the mention of gay marriage Karalie wrinkled her nose.  She definitely didn't want to focus on that sort of "civil liberty".  It was a joke, really.  She got the sinking suspicion that Marnie didn't necessarily agree with that, and was probably for gay rights.  It was such a stupid topic, too.  Why should gay people have a right to get married? It was sinful, first of all, and second of all they were just trying to get attention.  Why those people chose to be gay was beyond her.  Just be the way God intended you to be! That's the naive way Karalie looked at it, though.  According to her it was a bullshit way for people to get around actual marriage by pretending to love their best friend and receive the same benefits that actual couples were privy to.  She'd heard her daddy go on and on about it for hours when they'd had company. If it were up to her, she would have all those rights taken away, because by indulging the behavior they were only making the problem worse.

"Mine's on The Patriot Act." She offered, still looking a little funny at Marnie.  She wasn't sure if it was worth getting into a heated discussion there in the library.  She looked like the kind of girl who would maybe be for "gay rights".  Those sorts of people were often difficult to persuade once they'd made up their minds, feeling all high and mighty for their "progressive" ideas.  They were just aiding in making America worse

"Sort of an interestin' topic ya'll picked." She started cautiously.  "Controversial.." She added, hinting about wanting to get the girls stance on the topic.  She tried to peek at the colorful book she was holding.  "Whatchu got so far?"

[Marnie Sullivan]

Marnie could feel herself wilting under Karalie's gaze, spine turning to jelly. The girl's look wasn't quite withering, but as paranoid as Marnie was, she couldn't help noticing the wrinkling of her nose. God, if she could just read minds - was Karalie grossed out? Did her nose just itch? Was she scrutinizing her and drawing conclusions? Why did she have to go and admit she was reading about gay stuff, even if the report was a lie?!

"The ... the Patriot Act?" Marnie repeated with a weak smile. Why didn't she think of something like that? "Good, uh, good luck with that, I bet there's lots of stuff you can use."

And hopefully that would be that, but apparently she'd piqued Karalie's curiosity. Or if not curiosity, something, judging by the shrewd look she was giving Marnie. Once again she wanted to cram the book back onto its shelf and run for the hills, but before she could make a move a fault in that plan appeared - what if after she left Karalie found the book and flipped through it? It had a distinctive cover, and so far wasn't about marriage at all.

Plan B: take the book, check it out, and return it in the dead of night. Or during the library's slow hours, whichever.

"Oh, I don't have much yet," she replied. Don't change color, don't change color... "Just, y'know, some arguments from both sides, which states have done it so far, that kind of thing."

[Karalie Heise]

Karalie seemed alright with Marnie's answer.  She wasn't really trying to be controversial, just stating the facts both sides had come up with.  Hopefully she wouldn't sway one way or the other, that would be obnoxious.  Either way in the end it didn't really matter seeing as Marnie wasn't in her class anyway, so she didn't need to listen to her report.

"Well, have fun with that." She shot her way, her nose still wrinkled at the topic of choice. "Ugh, I cannot wait for break.  We've been back in classes, for wha', like, 5 minutes? An' I'm already sick of it." She shook her head and sighed, looking back for the book she needed.  She had lost her concentration and didn't even remember what it was she was even looking for.  "Ugh, I forgot what book I was gettin'." Karalie rolled her eyes.  "Maybe it's better tuh just get online anyways.  Isn' there better stuff online for yer topic? I mean.. no one started really payin' attention to them gays until, like, a couple years ago.  Can't be that many books out on th'topic."

[Marnie Sullivan]

Even as her heart pounded in her ears, Marnie noted with relief that Karalie seemed willing to drop the issue. She still looked a bit like someone had just opened a tin of expired anchovies under her nose, but at this point Marnie was willing to take what she could get.

“Yeah, so glad the retreat's coming up soon,” she agreed. She wasn't particularly looking forward to it, not being one for spending several days out in the woods at a time, but it had to be more fun than this conversation. “Nobody ever gives homework for that week, it'll be great.”

Maybe now would be the best time to excuse herself from the conversation – get going while the going was good – but Karalie's next comment threw her. “Them gays” - Marnie didn't want to read too much into it, but that sounded... unfriendly. It also didn't make a whole lot of sense; sure, she hadn't had much time to peruse this section of the library, but a few of these books looked older than she was. But now wasn't the time to get into an argument with Karalie, not when she was barely keeping her cool as it was.

“I didn't, um, I didn't think of that,” she replied, her voice upbeat like the other girl was onto something big. “I think I'll go try that actually, it'll probably be faster than digging around in here.” More importantly, Karalie had just unwittingly given her an out. Time to bail! “See you, good luck with your topic!”

With that, she turned on her heel and hurried out of the shelves, book clutched to her chest. Just a stop by the front desk to check it out, and she was home free, but a sense of dread lingered in the back of her mind. Marnie had barely even begun to consider the possibility of not being straight, and already it was nerve-wracking talking about gay stuff in even the most distant of ways. What if she wasn't straight after all? Would it always be like this?