A One Time Teenage Drama Queen [Sean]

[Karalie Heise]

Karalie's favorite over sized sweater hung loosely over her body as she sat in the lounge, away from the other kids hanging out. She had her cell in one hand and the nail of her pointer finger from the other hand caught between her teeth, chewing it mindlessly.  She needed to repaint her nails anyway.  There was a time Karalie wished she could go get her nails professionally done, but she'd gotten good at painting her own nails over the years, doing fun designs and bedazzling them by herself. Her mother always offered to go get mani's and pedi's when she was home, and though she accepted the pedi's, manicures were something that just wasn't something she could do, and her mother, bless her heart, just could not understand that no matter how many times Karalie explained it.  Her mother just refused to believe that Karalie was different though she knew full well, and this was part of the reason she wanted to out herself to her family. If it weren't for the possibility of getting a car for Christmas, she would have told her extended family the truth.  Her parents didn't know they were possibly buying her silence yet.

Her phone buzzed with a message from Luke and her stomach did the strange flip flop it usually did when he messaged her.  She didn't know what to do with him, didn't know what the right decision was.  He wanted to be friends, but she didn't.  He wanted her back, and she was torn, unsure he could be faithful. Unsure she could ever trust him again.  He was the first boy she'd opened herself up to, the first boy she'd ever even kissed, and he'd betrayed her in the worst possible way.  Part of her still thought about slutting it up a little, sleeping with some random guy just to get it over with.  What was the sense of virtue anymore? It was almost 2015 for crying out loud, what girl kept her virginity until marriage? Maybe Luke would be faithful if she just put out...

She didn't reply to his message yet, bringing up instagram again and looking through the pages.  She should be studying, but her books were in her room and Lucy was over and she didn't need another confrontation with the bitch from down under.  She was safer there in the lounge, tucked away in a corner by herself, wasting time until she was sure Penelope had left the communal area of her dorm.  

When her eyes left her phone to scan the room she took pause as she noticed Dr. Neville, his eyes seeming to be looking right at her.  Maybe he was watching someone else..  She quickly avoided eye contact, pretending as though she hadn't seen him looking.  Surely playing dumb with a telepath would work.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean did not make a habit of frequenting the student lounge. After all, he had access to the staff lounge for when he required a break from his office, or the ability to mingle with his coworkers outside of a more formal setting, or when he simply wanted a fresh cup of coffee. Likewise, he thought that it was important for the students to find a similar sanctuary beyond that of their dorm rooms, particularly those students who had roommates with whom they did not get on well. A sense of independence from the ever-present faculty mattered to all students, but took on greater significance at an institution like Hammel, where the staff truly had the ability to monitor from all vantage points, thanks to meta-human powers.

Yet, the psychiatrist had found himself in the lounge because two of the members of the Student Activities Council had hunted him down in the hallway and wanted to discuss plans for a winter event. Then they had run to class, leaving him in the lounge without a student escort. He had planned to leave, but then he had caught sight of Karalie.

Karalie was on his watch list. She, too, belonged to the Student Activities Council, and he knew her from that. Additionally, he and Marnie had discussed her relationship with Lucas at length, and he knew Karalie because she had a disruptive memory-based mental power, and he always tracked students in that situation.

She looked unhappy. A cursory scan with telepathy confirmed that.

Briefly, he weighed the options of staying to talk or leaving the lounge. They lacked the same privacy of his office, but his presence in the lounge was also a deterrent to the student body, which would grant privacy in its own right. In one sense, he did not want to deprive the students of the area, but he thought he could do this quickly enough; they could always move to his office afterward.

Having made his decision, he crossed the lounge, settling in a nearby chair. “It’s almost winter break,” he remarked, as though she was unaware. That could break the ice.

[Karalie Heise]

Dark eyes rose to watch the older man take a seat close by, and Karalie felt the pang of tension grow in her heart.  She wasn't stupid enough to know rumors had circulated around the school and she was suddenly fearful that she was about to get into trouble for the fight with Lucy.  Lucy had instigated the entire thing, but she had lashed out physically, not that anything actually came of it.  Maybe she was in trouble for not being more careful with touching things.  She'd sort of let go for a while.  Could she get in trouble for not being more careful with her ability? For not taking the proper precautions to preserve others rights to privacy? It wasn't her fault she couldn't control it yet! She was trying.  Finally, after years, she was actually trying.  Why would Dr. Neville sit near her?

All the thoughts whirled through her mind as he finally spoke, noting it was nearly winter break.  Out of respect she put her phone down, knowing better than to ignore a teacher even during down time, and her hand slipped away from her mouth, curling under the sleeve of her sweater.  "Yes sir." She remarked softly, that southern drawl clear even as she spoke the short sentence.  If nothing else, she was at least polite to adults.  Her head turned slightly to watch Dr. Neville as her teeth nipped at the inside of her bottom lip, unsure where he was going with the conversation.  She fidgeted in her seat ever so slightly, folding her hands into her lap. Karalie cleared her throat and then licked her lips.  "Ya'll doin' anythin' nice?" She asked conversationally since he brought up the topic.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Contrary to a rumor that circulated through the school, and one that he did not always try to fight because there was some utility in it, Sean was not omniscient, neither was he omnipresent. The telepathy granted him more insight than the average non-psychic, and he kept plugged into the rumor mill to fill in the gaps, but not everything was on his radar. More than that, but not everything on his radar ended in his office with a disciplinary session, and, absent acute situations, he never began a dressing down outside of his office. The psychiatrist had never believed in public humiliation.

Instead, Karalie caught his attention not because of a fight with Lucy but for other reasons. Of course, things might come full circle depending on the nature of their discussion.

First matters first, small talk and ice breakers. Which meant answering her question, even though it had only been asked in the spirit of politeness to an authority figure. No matter, as he could work with that.

A smile touched his lips as he replied, “Relaxing, mostly. One of my friends throws a Christmas party, and I’m sure that I’ll be spending Chanukah with friends and family.” Specifically with Josh’s family and their mutual Jewish friends. That had never been his holiday, but he happily celebrated Josh’s holidays because they belonged to Josh.

He then turned the question back to her, albeit without the southern mannerisms and turns of phrase. “And do you have plans?”

He had not done a check in at the last Student Activities Council meeting to find out what everyone had planned for the break. Instead they had divided up tasks and discussed a theme for the Valentine’s Day dance that they would have to plan in earnest upon return from the winter recess.

[Karalie Heise]

Chanukah..  Karalie had heard of the holiday, just like she'd heard of Kwanzaa, but she sure didn't know a thing about them.  In fact, Karalie wasn't entirely sure she'd ever met a Jew.  Jew's were on her list of folks to be unsure about, like gay people and most minorities.  She tried not to be such a Southern bigot all the time, but it had been pounded in her head as a child and many of those things stuck with her when she left.  Not to mention how often she spoke to her parents over the years.  All she knew was that those Jew's like their money and were cheap, or so her daddy always said.  She wondered if Dr. Neville was Jewish.  Had she met Jews and not even known it? She supposed that was possible.  

The thought only briefly passed through her mind as the man continued to ask if she herself had any plans.  Plans.. She had plans to tell her grandparents, aunts and uncles the truth about what she was, but who knew if that would all pan out.  She knew she'd chicken out probably.  She knew it was nothing but a bad idea, especially considering it was Luke who planted that thought into her mind.  Luke wasn't good for much, especially advice.
 
"Just goin' home tuh be with m'fam'ly."  She explained with a little shrug, deciding she didn't need to go into any more detail than that.  The more you talked the more you opened yourself up for questions, and though she wasn't opposed to talking with the teacher, she wasn't sure about having a full on conversation about what she planned on doing at home.  "It'll be nice tuh thaw down south." She smiled slightly at her own joke on the weather.  She couldn't wait for some of that Mississippi sunshine!

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean overheard the direction of her thoughts, which he found unsurprising. He knew that Karalie harbored several prejudices. Moreover, one could not have a Jewish best friend, could not be in love with a Jewish man and spend time with his Jewish family and participate in their culture and holiday celebrations without encountering anti-Semitism in various forms. The Bernstein family was more familiar with extreme forms of anti-Semitism than many U.S. families, given that Bobby had lived in Germany during the rise of the Third Reich. Although the psychiatric had little patience for prejudice generally, he took particular offense on his partner’s behalf.

They could return to that later, if she made a comment. At the moment, Karalie exercised restraint in not voicing her prejudices, and, in turn, Sean did not remark upon them. Nor did he point out that his name was Sean Patrick Neville and thus was unlikely to be Jewish by ethnicity or religious practices. Instead, he focused on what she did say.

“It sounds like it will be,” he replied. “Getting away from the snow is always nice.” Vermont suffered from snow around the holidays and for at least four months each winter and part of the autumn and spring as well.

“Do you do anything special for the holidays?”

[Karalie Heise]

Karalie couldn't help but wonder why he was probing her in the lounge about her holiday's.  She didn't necessarily mind, but she did find it odd.  Karalie had been spending more and more time in the area due to recent events, and had never seen the good doctor there before, save for maybe once.  Or had she? Teachers in general tended to steer clear of the area other than to patrol it from time to time.  It simply struck her as odd.  Maybe she'd seemed lonely, or maybe he was getting towards some disciplinary actions.  She tried to make her mind stay put, not wonder too much about the bad stuff.  

"Nothin' special anymore.  Most've th'kids are all older.  I guess just church and aftuh my faml'y's hostin' Christmas dinner." She gave a shrug pulling her legs up and sort of leaning onto them.  "Everyone'll come on over an' open gifts an' such.  Nothin' real special."  She gave another shrug, the confession birelfy shooting through her mind.  What would pap say? And Aunt Charlotte? She'd have a field day..  Karalie pushed the thought from her mind before she could get herself all worked up on it again.

"Ya'll, uhh.. do anythin' nice?" She asked politely, not entirely sure what else to say to him.  She wasn't even entirely sure what his home situation was like.  She didn't think he had a wife and kids, but what did she know?

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“That sounds nice.” In fact, what Karalie described sounded like many of the Christmas celebrations that the Nevilles would throw over the years, albeit with Catholic Mass as opposed to whatever protestant sect to which Karalie’s family belonged.

Sean did not have a wife and children, although he had a committed male partner who would marry him in a heartbeat. However, as the telepath believed that marriage was neither necessary nor sufficient for a happy and healthy relationship, wedding bells were not on the horizon. He was quite happy as they were. They had also raised a foster daughter together for a time, although Bailey had been taken from them by other blood family members, adopted that way, and they had not taken another foster child since then. None of that would come up in conversation, just as he typically did not speak too much about his personal life, aside from Josh.

He mentioned his partner frequently enough, if anyone asked. Josh visited him at work sometimes.

However, he knew enough about Karalie’s background from casual interaction through the Student Activities Council that he would not go out of his way to mention Josh. Not if he wanted to create any sort of deeper conversation with her about Lucas or other students.

“My friend who throws the Christmas party has a huge family and they have an old-fashioned Christmas with too much food and too many presents.” Also caroling. Sean had never participated in any caroling at any party since his voice had changed, and he aimed to keep it that way. The Campbells, however, had an abundance of Christmas cheer, and the psychiatrist enjoyed spending the holiday with them.

He paused for a moment and then lowered his voice, before prompting, “It seems like something is on your mind.”

[Karalie Heise]

The party he spoke of sounded nice.  Quaint, even.  Too many people, loads of presents, food for days.. It sounded like her home on some level, but more, well, homey.  There was something almost fake about her family's Christmas, as if everyone was trying to outdo everyone else.  Who got their kid the more expensive present? Who bought the better pie (because honestly, none of those women actually baked)?  Who got the bigger bonus?  Every year was a competition, and she knew nothing else.  They all went to church and claimed Jesus was the reason for the season, but all those wholesome morals flew out the window the second they left holy ground. "Sounds nice." She finally agreed, her voice soft, maybe a little distant.

There was a pause as Karalie tried to think of something to say to fill the void, but words escaped her.  She wasn't sure what she was supposed to even do.  Finally he prodded her for some details on what was on her mind.  Dark eyes met gentle blue ones as she stared up at the man who was plenty capable of rummaging through her thoughts as if they were on a Rolodex.  She knew if could, and possibly had, which annoyed her more than it should have.  Those thoughts were hers, and they were private.  She knew the hypocrisy of feeling that way considering how many people's privacy she'd betrayed over the last several years, but she seldom, if ever, willingly took those memories.  He was careful in his wording, though, not letting on he had actually pulled any thoughts from her, but noting she seemed like she had a heavy mind at the time.  She didn't know what to think.

"I'm about tuh graduate high school, have no real plan for m'future, am in the midst uh finals, was cheated on by my ex-boyfriend an' still have no damn clue how tuh control these."  She lifted her hands to show him, knowing he would understand what she'd meant.  Most of these were obvious, whether he knew her well or not.  "Take yer pick, sir."  Her tone wasn't angry, nor condescending, just simply stating that it was natural for her to have a lot on her mind.  There was a lot on her plate, after all.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The Campbell Christmas party had always been fun and inviting, and Sean expected no less of it this year. He considered it loud and entertaining more than quaint, primarily because anyone who had spent time with the full Campbell clan could hardly describe them as quaint. Stereotypical liberal New York Catholics, which were his type of people. “It is nice.”

The psychiatrist also fell silent with Karalie did, giving her time to find answers to his question at her own pace. He had no intention of rushing her, as this entire dialogue had begun serendipitously. Despite the questions, he had no desire to grill her.

The silence paid off, because she then quickly listed a litany of issues. He zeroed in on the biggest emotional drain of the lot.

“Lucas cheated on you.” That was more a statement than it was a question, primarily because it did not come as a great surprise to the psychiatrist. For her sake, he wished that it had not happened at all, but in some small way, he supposed that it was best for her to learn of Lucas’s character now, before she had become more emotionally invested and their relationship had spilled from that of high school sweethearts into the real world with legal consequences. Still, his tone was sympathetic when he continued with, “I’m sorry to hear that. How are you doing with that?”

Most of the rest of what she listed was par for the course at her age. She was a senior, finishing up her penultimate term at her high school. Worrying about the future came as a necessary component of that, even for those – like him – who had already chosen a career path and knew that college and higher education awaited him outside of Hammel. Final exams always caused stress for anyone who actually cared one iota about their grades, either for their own sake or as a ticket to the future (and the ability to leave the school behind). The transition from high school itself caused stress of its own, because it brought with it changes of social network, environment, and expectations (of oneself by others and of others to oneself). All of that was so typical, albeit no less meaningful.

Her last complaint caught his attention, and immediately, he asked, “How do you get alone with your trainer?”

[Karalie Heise]

The finality in his statement made her tense and she looked away.  Hearing his name alone upset her these days.  And to think she once liked the name Lucas.  Even his gentle apology did little to ease her sudden annoyance at the harsh reminder.  "I'm doin' fine." She lied softly.  He would know better but she hoped he wouldn't probe her further on the subject.  She'd offered it in her laundry list of things to discuss, but it wasn't exactly what she wanted to talk about.  No one likes being reminded about the hurt inflicted upon them by someone they thought cared about them, even if the question was asked sympathetically.  Truth was she wasn't doing fine.  She was doing better now, but she'd suffered a mild breakdown shortly after the breakup and only now was she getting her life back together.

Fortunately Sean left it at that and she was glad for it.  Last thing she felt like doing was talking to a male teacher in the student lounge about her boy problems.  Of course his next question made her heart stop a little.  Her training.  Karalie had done well with schoolwork and was keeping up with all the things that would make her a good student, but she'd neglected to work with her trainer.  She hated grabbing memories from her and though she understood, she still didn't care for it.  Plus, going to see the trainer was like admitting that she didn't have a hold on her ability, which she didn't.

As she thought it all she knew Sean could easily tell what she was thinking and her eyes moved to him again, her lips pursing slightly.  There was no lying to him.  "I haven' seen her much lately." She admitted, since that was all she could do.  Would she be in trouble for that?  "I'm figuring it all out alrigh', though.  I've been practicin'."  It was mostly true.  She had been practicing, and she was figuring it out, though maybe not as quickly if she were actually seeing her trainer like she was supposed to.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

She had lied. Sean could tell immediately, and he wanted her to be honest. Not for the Platonic ideal of honesty, but because he thought that honesty about needs and vulnerabilities led to effective problem-solving and support. He did not want to probe too much and cause her to get defensive, but he wanted her to know she could come to him. As such, the psychiatrist chose a tactic down the middle of the road, and said, “That’s good. If you ever want to talk more about it, my door is always open.”

He meant that sincerely.

Sean then frowned slightly, although not at her, rather at the news that she hadn’t seen much of her trainer. He considered that to be detrimental, and a disservice to all students, but particularly to students with mental-based powers. The psychiatrist had no experience with retrocognition on a persona l basis, but he had plenty of experience with powers involving the memory. Those could be so difficult to cope with, and while he did not expect every trainer to devote the same level of time and energy that Robert Hopkins had given him those decades ago, he did believe that mental-based powers required daily training, certainly no less than every other day.

He was also not a trainer for a reason.

“How have you been practicing?” He could not assess the regimen, but he wanted to make sure that she was taking care of herself and making necessary progress.

[Karalie Heise]

She wouldn't want to talk about it.  Not with him, anyway.  Karalie had a lot of pride and if she was going to whine to someone about her juvenile boy problems, it most certainly wouldn't be to a grown man sh felt she barely knew.  Of course she knew Dr. Neville had her best interests, so she certainly wasn't going to be angry at the offer, but she most definitely wouldn't take him up on it, either.  "Thank you." She drawled softly, plastering on her kindest fake smile.  It was nothing personal, it simply was what it was.


The look on his face when she mentioned not seeing her trainer, though, but her on guard almost immediately.  She got that sick, heart sinking feeling in her entire torso, wishing more than anything that she wasn't having this conversation right then and there but alas she was and there was little to nothing she could do about it.  There was no escape; physically or mentally.

"Well.." She started , fidgeting in her seat slightly.  "Just touchin' things an' focusin' on what I'm doin'." She explained, which was a very vague description of what she was actually doing.  Truth was she didn't know how to explain it properly.  "Like, when I touch somethin' I can feel th'memory comin' at me if that makes sense.  I guess I've finally figured that feelin' out, and if I'm payin' attention, I can sorta push back, like.. shuttin' uh door when someone's tryin' tuh push it open? Does that make sense?" It was the best way she could explain it.  It was actually Lucus who had really helped her see all that.  Of course he had no idea how her power worked, but he let her practice on him, and people memories were far stronger than object ones.  It was easier to find that feeling in her brain with Lucas, but now that she'd identified it, she was able to notice it with everything else.  "So I guess I sorta just do that.." She hadn't come extremely far, but it was the biggest step she'd taken since she'd begun really working on it all.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“You’re welcome.” With that, Sean dropped the conversation about Lucas. If she chose to take him up on the offer, she knew where to find him. If she chose to take him up on his offer, he would know about it before she told him, and he could seek her out to accommodate her more easily. But only if she changed her mind and accepted his offer down the line. Until then, they could focus on another topic.

Sean listened attentively as she discussed her self-training regimen, both because he wanted to know what she was doing, as well as because he now needed notes to bring up at the next staff meeting. While he had no control over the training department, he thought someone should be aware of the fact that a psychic student had not been getting adequate face time with their trainer. In his days as a student, nobody would have let this situation go on for more than a day but Hammel had more students now than they had when he had been there in the 1970s. Procedures changed, and nobody here had benefitted from Robert Hopkins’s tutelage.

Although not a trainer, and not someone with retrocognition, he did follow along with what she described. One of his powers involved memories as well, and so he had an affinity there, even if his power functioned far differently (for which he remained grateful). “How much focus does it take to keep a memory from encroaching on you?”

[Karalie Heise]

Karalie hated being drilled on this.  He could ask any question about any of her classes and she would have no problem going into detail about whatever it was he wanted to know, but what it came to her training.. that was a completely different story.  The worst part was she couldn't even hide anything from him.  There was no beating around the bush, no coming up with bullshit answers.  She just had to answer, because if she didn't it wouldn't matter.  He'd know either way.  It wasn't fair.

"A lot." She admitted.  "I'm gettin' better," she countered quickly, which was the truth.  "But it still takes uh bit tuh push it back."  She had to focus on it, and if she wasn't then the memory would be hers.  Sometimes she only received small wisps of memories, bits that didn't make sense and quickly disappeared into the depth of her mind like a strange dream forgotten quickly after being woken up, never to emerge again.  

"I'm not really sure I'll ever have full control've it." She admitted, not trying to be pessimistic, but because she believed it to be true.  It would need constant practice to get to a point where she could maybe do it without thinking, which would take many years.  She wasn't foolish enough to think she would suddenly be able to make great strides overnight.