AU: Spirit Voices (Josh)

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Overall, Sean enjoyed his chosen profession.

He had never envisioned life taking that course back during his years pursuing his education. Back then, he had imagined a quiet professional life, perhaps working in a hospital if he wanted the experience, or managing his own private practice if he had a family. Back then, the only ghost he had believed in was the Holy Spirit, and he consigned all other supernatural phenomena to coincidence, folklore, and superstition.

Now, of course, he was one of the founding members of the Ghostbusters, one of the four people tasked with keeping New York City (and the wider world) safe from ghosts, demons, and other entities.

Stressful as it could be, he wouldn’t trade his life for anyone else’s. He found fulfillment and respect in his chosen profession. Moreover, he provided a vital service to the community. He had a wide social circle and the ability to learn and explore every day. He earned generous compensation and lived in a townhouse with more than a bit of privacy.

He had Josh.

He never would have met Josh but for his work with the Ghostbusters, and, for that alone, he remained grateful. Josh had been a client, but not a patient, which meant that his ethical obligation did not take effect, and thus he did not have to wait a year before dating the other man.

Fortunately, because he and Josh had begun dating soon after the other man had recovered from his possession by the Gatekeeper.

Rather, they had tried.

Emotionally, they were involved. However, Sean’s work had a tendency to interrupt his personal life at the least opportune moments. Still, even with that, he couldn’t wish for a different lot in life, because he otherwise would never have met Josh in the first place.

Finally, after the third broken date, he and the attorney had managed to meet up at an off-Broadway show that they had both wanted to see, a revival of the Boys in the Band. For the sake of the theater, Sean had worn a full tuxedo, and he smiled upon seeing his boyfriend there already.

“You look great,” he remarked with a smile, reaching out to take the other man’s hand. If anywhere he could be physical with his boyfriend, it was a showing of The Boys in the Band.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh was also grateful to have met Sean. He was smitten, there was no doubt about that, but on a much broader note meeting Sean meant that the world hadn't suffered a horrible apocalypse brought on by his possession.

But oh, he wished they had met in some more traditional manner! For reality had left him traumatized by his experiences, and then, although Sean returned his interest....

interruptions.

Every. Single. Date.

A world without ghosts would mean a world with no terrifying nightmares and with an actual date that ended on their terms.

However, a world without ghosts was most certainly not the world in which they lived, and so he had to make the best of it. He tried to be understanding -- he didn't want anyone else to suffer what he had suffered, after all, and so how could he demand Sean stay? But each date ended by a call from work was another disappointing night home alone.

And each new date they scheduled he told himself this one would be different. Eventually they would find a night with no ghost calls.

So when Sean proposed they go see The Boys in the Band Off-Broadway he leaped at the chance, determined to behave as if they would definitely be able to stay through to the end.

He hadn't worn a tux, opting instead for an olive colored suit. Sean's height made finding him in a crowd easy, and so Josh elbowed his way through the crowd to the other man. He smiled at the comment and at the gesture.

"I feel underdressed," He replied, squeezing Sean's hand. "But you look fantastic in a suit."

Or anytime really.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean returned the squeeze. “I’m over-dressed,” he assured the other man. Most of the men around them wore regular suits, and a few could be described as dressed in “business casual.” However, the telepath wore a jumpsuit to work every day. A hideous, greenish-tan jumpsuit that served a valuable purpose in protecting him from ectoplasm, but which did nothing to show off his figure or his fashion sense. Any opportunity to dress up meant that he might go overboard as compensation, but he had no apologies for that.

“Do you want to get a drink before we head in?” Although this theater was smaller and more independent than some of the better known ones on Broadway proper, it had both a full concession stand and a cash bar. A glass of wine or a beer might be a nice way to relax before they settled in to watch the play. Particularly since the telepath had not had a drop of alcohol in three days.

It had been a long three days.

A glass of wine would suit him nicely. And he intended to imbibe regardless of whether his boyfriend did, but drinking alone always seemed a bit sadder than not. Even if he was out with another person.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"That sounds wonderful," Josh agreed, heading towards the small line in front of the concession stand. The older man behind the counter was quick enough that the queue shrank quickly, and soon they found themselves at the front of the line.

"What can I get you gentlemen?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean waited patiently in line beside the other man. It moved quickly, and, if not even if it did not, he enjoyed standing beside Josh and having the few minutes together. He held onto his boyfriend’s hand, alternately squeezing it and occasionally running his fingers along the palm. It felt good to finally have some time together, free of all other concerns and interruptions. Many of the people there had come for similar purposes; so many people held hands while waiting or walking, or otherwise had their arms around one another while talking.

How relaxing.

“I’ll have a glass of Merlot,” he told the bartender, when they finally reached the front of the line. Although he could read Josh’s mind and order for him, he instead turned to his boyfriend, waiting for Josh to place his own order. Nice and relaxed, they could go at their own pace, since they still had fifteen minutes until curtain time. They could drink, make their way to their seats – which were near the front row, a perk of having the reputation that he did as well as the gratitude of much of the City. If he gave his name, certain perks manifested themselves, even though he insisted on paying for whatever he could whenever he could.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"I'll have a Riesling," Josh smiled. The gentle touches and the anticipation of seeing an excellent show -- and with someone he was attracted to (both physically and also emotionally) buoyed his mood. Once their wines were paid for he was quick to move out of the way, allowing the men behind them to place their order as well.

"Thank you for meeting me." Josh savored his wine with a pleased sigh. "How has your week been so far?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean walked with the other man over to a somewhat empty corner of the lobby, where they could stand and drink before retreating to their seats. The telepath leaned against the wall, adjusting himself every so often because, in addition to the full tuxedo, he had bothered to wear tails, and he was unused to compensating for that. The jumpsuit, while not form-fitting, left nothing to dangle from his body aside from his proton pack, which was separate in the first place.

At the question, he grimaced. It had not been a good week at all. “Did you know that there is a portal to Hell in New Jersey?”

Neither had he and the other Ghostbusters, until arriving there in the van, after a series of panicked calls from now fewer than a dozen people. Clearing that out had taken the better part of three days, wherein they had slept in shifts, if they had slept at all.

In positives, they had succeeded in clearing it out. They had not lost anyone to possession or death, and the van had survived the experience. They also had a key to the City of Newark, if anyone considered that an accomplishment.

In negatives, there was a portal to Hell. In New Jersey. And nobody knew how it had opened up in the first place.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Where else would a portal to Hell be?"

Josh reached out to pat Sean's arm sympathetically. "But a portal to Hell. Is it closed now?"

He wasn't sure how one closed a portal to hell, but if anyone knew it would be Sean and his ghostbuster coworkers.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean smiled. One of the many things he loved about New York was how well the residents coped with the unknown and unexpected. Also that, when given the opportunity, they never passed on a joke about New Jersey.

Then, when Josh asked the question, the telepath wrinkled his nose sheepishly. “Well...” He sipped his wine while he searched for the words necessary to explain the situation. The other man was highly intelligent, an attorney with two advanced degrees beyond his necessary law degree. Still, trying to explain the terminology of what the Ghostbusters did proved difficult enough for the licensing board and for the Environmental Protection Agency and other bureaucrats who checked in on them from time to time. Explaining beyond that could quickly become overwhelming, he had learned over the years when discussing the situation with clients.

Finally, he said, “Not exactly. We never learned what opened it in the first place, and since the only way to properly close a portal is to reverse how it opened, we chose to keep it open but blocked off. If we guessed wrong, there could be dire consequences: imagine a portal within a portal.” Sean always advocated caution with the other Ghostbusters, and, with Terrence on his side as someone equally reasonable, and with Ginny who respected their experience, he tended to win in debates with Roman.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Ah."

Josh dropped his gaze to his glass. His knuckles were white, clutching the stem as tight as possible.

A portal to Hell. An open portal to HELL. In all his terror, all his fears, he told himself that he would never come face to face with the apocalypse and the creatures that wanted to cause it again.

But an open portal to Hell.

"When...when you defeated....did you destroy it?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Immediately, Sean reached out with his free hand – the one not holding onto his wine glass – and cupped the side of his boyfriend’s face. Of course that would trudge up memories of his possession. He should have known.

Josh had repeatedly declined his offer to erase his memories of the experience. While he understood the other man’s reasoning and did not disagree with it, he wished that he could do something to ease Josh’s pain, something more than he had managed thus far. Every time they were together, he could see the scar in the other man’s mind. It had begun to heal, but it remained there and visible to him.

“We did,” he promised, gazing into his boyfriend’s blue eyes; nothing but honesty in his. “We knew how that portal had opened, thanks to the research that Ginny and I did. We went by the books in destroying that portal and it’s sealed more tightly than anything else we’ve done. And you don’t have to worry about the ghosts who found you. I took care of them myself.”

He had shown neither the Gatekeeper nor the Keymaster the slightest bit of mercy when liberating Josh’s and Conrad’s minds from their influence.

They were gone, never to return.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh grimaced and gave a shaky nod to acknowledge Sean's reassurance. "That's...that's good."

This was as far as he was willing to pursue that line of thought tonight. They were here to enjoy themselves, not to relive the worst `night `of his `life.


"Have...have you seen this play before?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean leaned forward to touch their foreheads together, to give additional reassurance both through the physical contact and so that he could continue to gaze into the other man’s eyes. “Yes,” he agreed. It was good. The attorney would never have to worry about any of the ghosts associated with the horrible night, since they had been destroyed and contained respectively. More than that, if Josh ever chose to take him up on the offer, perhaps when he had made some additional emotional progress, the telepath remained willing and able to alter his memories accordingly.

Then, taking advantage of the unique vantage point, he leaned in and brushed his lips across Josh’s for a brief kiss.

Pulling away, he nodded. “I have, although not this revival. It was an amateur production years ago, but I always loved the movie.”

The movie had been produced in 1970, long before HIV and AIDS (which had, in turn, inspired the playwright to pen and produce a sequel). The acting had been excellent and it had provided a glimpse into life before the push for gay rights. Sean considered himself fortunate that he had only been a teenager at that time. “Have you seen it before?”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"I saw it once," Josh conceded. "Hasn't everyone?"

The presence of so many MSM was a testament to the fact that this story was a bit of a milestone, and a glimpse into a past only some of them truly remembered. Society remained deeply homophobic in so many ways, but progress had been made as well. The world as it was today was not the same as the world the play was set in.

"I'm so glad I don't have to hide my relationships anymore."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean conceded that point with a nod and a small smile. While somewhat of an exaggeration, the sentiment remained truer than not. So many gay and bisexual men had seen this play, or at least read it or watched the movie, precisely because they found some way to relate to the plights of one or more characters, who each had to cope with the homophobia of society, and their own internalized homophobia, one way or another. As such, it remained poignant, even though the era it portrayed no longer existed.

“I’m sure,” he replied, and then reached to take Josh’s hand again.

The psychiatrist’s relationship with his sexual orientation differed from that of many other gay and bisexual men, in that he had not struggled, suppressed, and hidden the way many of them had. His own attraction to other men differed from his attraction to women, although he had accepted one as being as valid as the other, and he allowed himself to enter relationships as they came. Being self-employed, and having literally saved the world from ghostly destruction more times than he could count, provided a buffer against some prejudice, although not all of it. “I’m glad too.”

The lights in the lobby began to dim, signaling that they had five minutes to get to their seats before the play began and the doors would lock.