Bad Ideas Lead to Bad Places (Sloane)

[Lilly Love]

As Live stood on the sidewalk, a girl standing across from her with a bloody nose and the flashing red and blue lights behind her, she knew she had screwed up, yet again. She hadn't gone out looking for trouble, purposefully, however subconsciously she had.

Her week had been absolutely terrible. Classes had just started and she was already getting in trouble with the teachers. Then at home her mother had taken more money then she should have so they were gonna be a little low on groceries this month. Then there were other students and her brother to add into the mix. Life just kept getting worse, didn't it?

Live had just wanted to let off some steam but she hadn't really thought much about how it might end up. She had gone down to the closest bar, just because she could. It had seemed as good a place as any to go, that was until some girl decided to start talking making comments about her. Live should have ignored her, but she could be rash sometimes, so she yelled back. Next thing she knew they were outside and they were fighting. Live got in most of the hits and of course all the drunk guys were eating up the cat fight. This just ticked Live off more, so she punched the girl harder. She never learned that no matter how much you beat up someone else, it wouldn't solve your problems.

Now the girl's friends were picking her off the ground and apparently someone had called the cops. The other girls started blaming Live, go figure but she just sighed. What really was the worse they could do to her? Sadly, this wasn't the first time, and probably not the last, Live would get into a dumb fight like this.

[Sloane Deveraux]

Sloane was cruise patrolling as usual when Hart's voice crackled through her receiver.

Pulling the receiver out of it's holster and pressing the button on the side, she responded. "Copy that, 1512 responding." She slid it back to the holster and drove over to the scene.

Sighing when she saw a familiar face, Sloane locked the car behind her and walked straight to Live. "We really have to stop meeting like this." She pulled Live's hands to her back and walked her to the police car. "Rook, can you handle the others?" Sloane asked of the new cop who tipped his cap at her. She nodded back at him and pushed Live into the car, careful not to jostle her too much.

--

"You going to tell me what happened?" Sloane asked as she led the younger girl into the interrogation room. More like storage room for all the interrogations they have been doing.

[Lilly Love]

Yes, this wasn't Live's first time getting arrested and like that night, it usually was for fights. There had been a one time for vandalism a year ago, twice for steeling almost three years ago, and about three fights (not counting the ones that she didn't get arrested for) over the years. Plus she had been to police station a couple times to pick up her mother because Helen had gotten lost on her way home from the liquor store or something stupid like that.

Live was silent until they reached the interrogation room. In her opinion, she really hadn't done much wrong. It was self defense. Not really but that's what she would say, as usual.

She let out a long sigh as Sloane, an officer who had arrested her for fights before, questioned her. "The girl was being a bitch." Yup, that was her explanation. Obviously there was more to the story of what had happened. There was of course, even more to the reason why. It actually had very little to do with the girl being rude and everything to do with Live needing a punching bag. Something she could focus her stress onto. Although Live herself wasn't even fully aware she was doing that.

[Sloane Deveraux]

Sloane sort of saw a lot of herself in Live. Not the overabundance of mascara or the grungy wear. But the anger and determination of someone who just didn't give a shit about authority. That was what wound her up in the police force in the first place.

She also saw the potential Live had to do something good with herself. Something great. It might not be the police force. But it could be something just as great or even better. But every time they met, it didn't shed a good light on Live. Or her mother. And Sloane didn't want to judge. All she wanted to do was see the bright side of things.

She didn't have the right to judge anyway. She had led a charmed life, up until she lost her partner.

"Of course she was." Sloane leaned against the wall opposite the blue eyed girl. "Was this the same girl as before? Or the one before that? Because that excuse is probably getting tired of being used so much." She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at the girl.

[Lilly Love]

Live really didn't care for authority or rules, like most teenagers thought she often expressed that dislike stronger then some to the point where a visit to Pilot Ridge's police station wasn't a super uncommon occurrence. At least it wasn't as frequent as it could have been and so far no one had pushed charges and she had just gotten community service. Hammel's protection was part of the reason her punishments hadn't been that terrible. Yet...

Her eyes narrowed at Sloane, her comments clearly ticking Live off. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat huff. Now she just wanted to punch something even more. It was a good thing Sloane was a cop and they were at a police station.

"I don't know. Maybe. Could have been one of their friends. Who cares?" Live said trying to blow off the question. She really didn't want to be there but she probably should have thought of that before she got in a fight with some random chick. Live was just full of great ideas lately. She was really thinking things through.

[Sloane Deveraux]

Huffing out a laughter, Sloane uncrossed her arms and went to sit down across from the younger girl. She contemplated on just slapping her with a conviction or at least a misdemeanour and sending her straight to lockup. But she knew Hammel kept her protected and she probably didn't need the girl to have another reason to hate the law.

"Actually, I care. The people who are going to bail you out is going to care." Sloane reminded Live. "You can't tell me you enjoy sitting here, looking at my ugly mug, and letting me talk over you one whole night."

She leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms.

"And community service? You wanna be doing that for the rest of your life?" Sloane asked. "You gotta cut me some slack here, Live. I'm getting tired of seeing yer ugly mug."

[Lilly Love]

Live didn't directly hate the law but she strongly disliked people and in turn any authority they tried to impose on her so in turn the law. It was sort of a confusing thing but that was how it worked in her mind. It all made sense to her.

Live looked away, her eyes looking down to the right. "Yeah right." She huffed folding her arms closer to herself. No one in her life had ever cared. Yeah the school bailed her out but that was their job. They didn't care about her. People didn't care about Live and she didn't want them to. She didn't need their charity. She was fine on her own. At least that's what she told herself.

Better then being at home... Live thought to herself. Not that she would tell Sloane this. She already knew about Live's mother and probably had figured out she was a drunk and what not. At least she didn't bring that up. "Whatever. Just give me another ten hours or whatever and I'll be out of your hair." Live snapped. She was dancing around the questions and her glare moved from Sloane to the wall to her right.

[Sloane Deveraux]

When Live showed her obstinance, Sloane had to sigh and lean forward on the table, her fingers lacing through each other as she looked at Live properly. "You may not want to believe anything I say but you sure as hell need to believe that if you keep on with this shitty attitude, you're going to end up somewhere you really don't want to be."

Sloane was going to mention Live's mother but judging from how Live always looked whenever she picked her mother up from lock up, the cop knew that was just a very insensitive thing to do. Although she was also inclined to jar Live's core. The girl needed something to push her to the right direction, didn't she?

"I'm not looking to get rid of you, Live." Sloane said in a flat tone before getting up again and walking to the door. "You can't always expect me to be soft on you. One of these days, someone might just press charges and you're not going to have me around."

Sighing one more time, Sloane tugged at her ponytail and went back to her seat. "How far are you willing to go to ruin your whole life?"

[Lilly Love]

Live squeezed her arms tighter around herself as if this would some how shut the girl out. She kept her eyes focused on the table in front of her not wanting to look at Sloane. Of course she didn't want to end up in jail, who would? However, she didn't really want to talk to this girl about that. She didn't want to talk to anyone about anything really. "I'm already somewhere I really don't want to be." Live snapped, not meaning the police station but her life in general.

Sure Live's mom was a touchy subject and the cop probably knew that. There had been a couple kids at school who knew about Helen and had teased Live about through out the years. One of those kids she did eventually get in a fight with. That one only ended with detention though. No cop involvement there.

"I never asked for your help..." She said under her breath. Live didn't really want Sloane's sympathy. She didn't want anyone to go easy on her or pity her. One of her strongest beliefs was her lack of belief in others. She didn't think you could trust anyone to take care of you. Maybe for a little but in the end everyone leaves. You have to take care of yourself otherwise you will end up hurt and alone.

So far Live's eyes had been focused on the table or the wall but at Sloane's words her eyes snapped up to meet the girls, her empty gray blue eyes boring into her. "My life was ruined years ago." The words weren't angry or mean. They were just said, like a fact.

[Sloane Deveraux]

Sloane had to sigh one more time, admitting defeat when it came to breaking down the girl. She knew nothing else could go through the girl and briefly, she wondered if she should just throw her in the holding cell and let her wait out her twenty-four hours.

She was a tad disappointed when the girl thought she didn't need help. Sloane could have sworn she saw her younger self in those words. Shaking her head of the memory, Sloane let the silence envelop them before Live responded to her quip.

It wasn't surprising that the younger woman felt that. When you're a teenager, you feel like everything was collapsing all around you. Nothing could make things easier. Sloane got that. She understood and she sympathised with the notion. Especially when she knew Live had a drunk for a mother and she was basically the ward of the state.

"And you don't want to change it?"

[Lilly Love]

As soon as the question left Sloane's lips, Live's behavior began to change. Though she still remained slouched in her chair with her arms crossed she no longer looked indifferent and standoffish, she looked uncomfortable. Her arms looked more like a shield then an act of defiance. Her eyes which had been looking away from Sloane to be rude now jumped around the room, nervously avoiding eye contact with the woman.

In a matter of moments, Live went from indifferent and ticked off to nervous and almost jumpy. She still looked angry but a very different angry then before.

Live had been avoiding that question her entire life. Ever since she started calling herself Live instead of Lilly, due to her belief that you had to take care of yourself, or live for yourself, she had been so focused on surviving her moment she never thought about the future. She did think about it but she tried not to. She just wanted to get through life one day at a time.

The hardest thing to answer about the question had to due with her mother. The woman she hated yet spent every day taking care of. Live had spent a majority of her life trying to get by and make sure she had a place to live, that she had forgotten that things could get better. She almost didn't want things to get better because that would require facing problems she had been avoiding for so long.

"I..." She said trying to think of what to say. "Of course I want it to change but... I..." Live was a smart girl and as she sat there trying to come up with some excuse as to why she couldn't change her predicament she knew that there was no actual reason. Finally she just spewed out the first thing she could think of. "It just isn't that simple."

[Sloane Deveraux]

Knowing that her question had made Live react didn't help Sloane feel any better about asking it. She didn't need Live spooked. And as the younger woman tried to come up with an answer, Sloane couldn't help but sigh when it came.

"If you don't lift up the anchor, your boat won't set sail." Sloane said, remembering what her grandmother used to tell her every day when she was a kid.

"You can't walk around with this chip on your shoulder and the dead weight around your neck." She continued. "And you're definitely not making it any easier on you by getting into all sorts of shit that, trust me, cannot be undone."

[Lilly Love]

Since Live was nine all she had done was take care of her mother and herself. That was it. Humans were creatures of habits. For Live to change what she had been doing for most of her life would be like her mother giving up alcohol. Okay, maybe her change was easier then that but it still wouldn't be easy.

Live purposefully kept her eyes away from Sloane as she talked. She didn't want the girl to look at her and to be able to read her mind. Sloane already knew about her mother but she didn't know about her father or her brother. Hopefully that could stay that way.

"Look..." Live said carefully choosing her words. "My life has been hell since the day I was born. Nothing good has ever happened to me. I'm not trying to make things harder on myself. I'm just trying to deal here." It was partially true what she said but still slightly askew from the real reality of what Live was trying to deal with.

[Sloane Deveraux]

Rubbing against her brow bone with the heel of her palm, Sloane leaned forward on the table and looked at Live. "So you're telling me you'd rather go through this 24 hour lockup and then do hours of community service just to...deal?"

The dark-haired policewoman shook her head and leaned back against her chair. "I'm offering you an out, Live. I'm not trying to tell you that the last seventeen years of your life is redundant but I am trying to tell you that it could be changed. I'm not even saying it's going to be easy. Of course it's going to be hard. Nothing good comes from easy access."

She looked at Live purposely. "Live, you said nothing good has ever happened to you, you should know now, what I'm trying to offer you, is something good. But I need you to promise to clean yourself up. Regardless of what your mom is, or where your dad is, you're capable of more. I believe that. Now all you have to do is believe it yourself."

[Lilly Love]

"Thats not what I me-" Live started to yell, her eyes snapping to Sloane. She stopped herself though knowing it was pointless. She covered her face with her hands for a moment in frustration then pushed them though her hair. She was silent for a long time after Sloane finally finished talking. It was clear Live was stressed. Her eyes were narrowed and her brow furrowed with anger. Her jaw was clenched and she almost looked to be fighting back tears. When she finally spoke though there was no sign in her voice that she was going cry.

"Sorry to disappoint you but I don't believe in things." The words cut through the air. A cold truth that was evident Live truly thought that way. She didn't believe in the goodness of people, in herself, in the world, in anything. There had been to many Christmas's spent alone, to many birthdays without a cake, to much abandonment, just to much of anything in her life for to have faith in much anymore.

Sure Live could have pushed through it all, been an optimist and tried her best to smile but she was fact person and the facts didn't lie. If nothing in her life had ever been good or even okay how could she expect that to change know? She had tried before to make things better but it had never gotten better. When she first came to Hammel she had tried to make friends. She had almost fallen in love too. She had almost been happy but that had all ended with more broken pieces for her try and pick up. "Why try to change when nothing ever changes?" Live's voice was almost sad but her face was to angry.