Time Warp: Attendance Matters [Sean]

[Lilly Love]

January 2013

Live had been to been to see Dr. Sean Neville once before a few months ago for punching Odion. Well, that and alcohol on campus, fights, vandalism, and just an assortment of so called "bad behavior". It wasn't that Live denied being a horrible student, in fact, she was pretty proud of her reputation. It meant everyone basically stayed away from her and didn't give her crap unless they were looking for a fight or some kind of trouble.

This time though, she wasn't headed to the psychiatrists office for what she had done at school but for what she hadn't been doing at school; showing up.

Just before her last visit to Sean's office, her brother had called her seemingly out of the blue to "reconnect". This had sent Live into a terrible downward spiral. A few days after her meeting with Sean, Live had decided to stop coming to school. She had missed half the days of school in November and almost every day in December. Over winter break she had started to realize that maybe she should at least attempt to pass some of her classes though depression and anger made it hard for her to really get motivated for anything. She just wanted to stay home and hate everyone and everything.

It was only a couple weeks into the new semester and Live had only attended three days of school. She had received letters at home about truancy but didn't care. What was the worst they could do to her anyways? Apparently, send her back to Sean. She probably wouldn't have gone to school that day if she had known that once she stepped foot into her first period class she would be sent straight to the telepaths office. She stopped in front of his door, wearing nearly all black as usually, her face set in a hardened and clearly displeased expression, and knocked twice. She made sure they were as loud and obnoxious knocks as possible.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean had high expectations for the students, which he called “reasonable expectations.” As the school psychiatrist, he was able to work with students on an individual basis, and could learn their strengths and weaknesses in a deeper way than the basic requirements for passing to the next grade or training level, or for earning the right to graduate. He knew that not every student could excel in every area – he hadn’t as a student, after all – even if he held them to the same basic standards of decency and respect.

Sean expected more of Lilly Love.

She had come through his office before, for a variety of infractions: fights, rudeness to teachers and other students, drinking under age, acts of vandalism…the list of infractions went on, although they remained minor enough that she wasn’t on Yvette’s watchlist, even if she remained on his. Still, he knew that she could do better, if she applied herself.

Then she had simply stopped. Stopped the bad behavior, but hadn’t replaced it with better behavior. Instead, she had withdrawn from other activities and had stopped coming to class. That had resulted in complaints from the teachers, and had led to him scheduling a mandatory appointment with her (and him procuring the assistance of one of the security guards if she failed to arrive).

However, the knock at his door at the appointed time, coupled with her mental presence outside his office, told him that she had arrived. She was on today, judging by the nature of her knocking, but he would deal with that in time. “Come in, Lilly,” he called out to her.

[Lilly Love]

In a different life, Live probably could have been the student Sean expected her to be and meet those expectations he held for students. She was smart, enjoyed learning, and very determined; it wouldn't have been hard for her to be a straight A student. However, this wasn't that life and in this life Live was completely uninterested in school. Everything from the academics to the general environment of school was something she just really couldn't be bothered with.

The biggest thing that Live hated about going to see Sean was that she liked the personal space of her own head and this man completely broke that. The whole idea just made her so uncomfortable.

When she heard the mans voice call for her to enter, she cringed and opened the door. She made a point not to close the door and stood by the doorway. "My name is Live." She almost hissed at the man. She wasn't very good at this whole respect for your elders thing or whatever you wanted to call it. She had no interest in even being in this room and she had no intention of pretending otherwise, especially to someone who would just look in her head as he pleased.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean didn’t rise to the bait in her tone. Instead, he offered an apology – not because of her tone but because he firmly believed that everyone had the right to choose their preferred name. “My apologies, Live.” With that simple remark, he intended to convey that he wouldn’t use her given name from this point forward.

However, that had no bearing on the fact that they had to get through this meeting, and they couldn’t do that with her standing in the doorway or otherwise being obstinate. To that end, he gestured for her to come inside fully, and then pointed at the seats in front of his desk. “You need to close the door,” he informed her, “Otherwise any hope for confidentiality goes out, and I’m sure neither one of us wants that.”

He didn’t want that. He preferred to maintain the students’ privacy, even when they were there for behavioral issues as opposed to therapy sessions. And whatever concerns she had about his telepathy aside, if anyone walking by could hear what they discussed, then she had bigger problems on her hands socially than the fact that the middle-aged school psychiatrist could read her thoughts whether she was immediately in front of him or elsewhere.

[Lilly Love]

While Sean meant the best by recognizing Live's request not to be called Lilly, she felt like it was patronizing. Like he was mocking her somehow. She huffed a bit and closed the door but still continued to stand by it. She wasn't even sure why she was being so obstinate. Part of her knew that is she just sat down and played nice she would get out of there much faster but she was still too bullheaded for that. She had to take a stand against something, even if there wasn't really anything to take a stand against.

"I know why I am here. I haven't been coming to school." Live didn't want to bullshit around the subject or anything. She knew why she was in trouble again and she just wanted to get this little meeting over with. "I was sick for a while."

It was a total lie. She realized after she said it that lying to Sean probably wasn't going to work but she figured it was worth a shot. Maybe he would just let this whole thing slide. I mean, after all she was planning on making a better effort to attend class now. Sure she had missed at least a solid month but she could catch up enough to pass. Everything would be fine. Sean just had to let it all be fine.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Fortunately for both of them, Sean had the emotional maturity not to get into a tiff with a teenage girl. Lacking that maturity would have gotten him fired long ago, and for good reason. His job was to deescalate situations, not to make them worse.

Either Lilly would eventually forgive him for the misstep and would see that he wasn’t patronizing her but rather using the name she had stated was her preference eventually, or else they would have a tense meeting, or several meetings given the reason she had been sent to him in the first place.

Several meetings given that she had chosen to begin this meeting by lying to him so blatantly.

The psychiatrist pursed his lips together, allowing her to finish without interruption. Perhaps she would stop herself before going too far, but she didn’t.

She claimed she was sick, and she acknowledged that it was a lie, and that it was unlikely to fly with him, while in the midst of lying. Not a good start.

When she finished, he fixed his gaze on her and replied calmly, “It’s never a good idea to lie to a telepath, Lilly. It’s a waste of breath, and it demeans both of us.” He wanted to make that plain, as he gave her a chance to redeem herself. “Why haven’t you been going to class?”

[Lilly Love]

Live took a deep breathe and crossed her arms. Fine. She wouldn't lie. But she sure as hell wasn't about to spill her guts or give some sob story to this man either. She had her right to privacy, but sadly she would still have to be honest.

"I just haven't felt like coming." Live stated bluntly.

It was the truth. She was sure Sean would ask why she hadn't felt like coming but he could ask that if he wanted. She answered the question. Why wasn't she at school? She didn't want to go. She hadn't felt like. It was too much. Fuck school!

[Dr. Sean Neville]

While Sean didn’t appreciate her attitude, he did find her honesty refreshing. Too often, students would sit in his office and lie to his face, despite the futility of lying to a telepath. So often, those students lying to him thought that they might get away with it, which was an insult to him and which demeaned both of them. He wouldn’t reward Live for admitting that she didn’t feel like going to class, as though that meant she could be truant. Still, her honesty saved both of them some time and frustration.

Of course, now that she had answered his question, he had to ask the next obvious one. “And why haven’t you felt like coming?”

He didn’t respond to her mental litany of profanity, since she hadn’t spoken it aloud. Although he didn’t particularly like profanity – and he could attribute that both to his upbringing and to his general preference for precision – she had only thought it. He didn’t correct people for their thoughts, unless they were having a telepathic conversation rather than a verbal one.

To that end, since they were having a verbal conversation, he would wait for her to articulate her reasons, rather than simply probing for them with his powers.

[Lilly Love]

Of course! What other question could he have possibly asked? Live tried to keep her mind busy with grumbling about the stupid question. She had been through a couple meetings with Sean before so she had started to develop a habit of forcing her thoughts onto something specific to avoid her real thoughts being heard, at least right off the bat. This technique never worked for that long but she sure as hell was gonna try it while she still could.

"I don't know. School is dumb. No one here likes me. I don't like anyone here. I'm obviously not smart so it's not like I'm actually going to learn anything while I am here. Why should I even bother?"

That sounded convincing right? Well, slightly. Most of it was pretty damn true but it was all repeats of things she had said before. Nothing new. These were the same reasons she acted up and got in fights.

Except for that bit about not being smart. Live was smart. Except for her temper. Yeah, when it came to keeping that under control she was a total idiot. And basic social conduct but not having any of that was a personal choice.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Between having been a telepath for forty-four years, and having worked as the Hammel psychiatrist for twenty-two and a half years, Sean was used to essentially all psychological tricks under the sun. So many people found telepathy unnerving or frustrating (depending on their underlying reasons and personal philosophies). The psychiatrist, long ago, had learned to roll with it. If he wanted to probe, he could push aside other people’s distractions, but he had no reason to probe in the middle of basic disciplinary sessions.

It wasn’t as though Live was Jesse; he could work with her at face value.

Unfortunately for the teenager, her explanations did not sound particularly convincing. They sounded apathetic, yes, and plenty of teenagers experienced some degree of apathy from time to time. However, most teenagers didn’t blow off a significant number of classes, such that they landed in his office. Besides, he had never believed in simply abandoning education, no matter how socially isolated one might feel.

He had been the poster child for social isolation during his time at Hammel, four decades ago, and he had gone to all of his classes unless suffering from significant side effects or a power lapse.

In short, she would have to do better than that.

“We both know you’re smart,” he told her. She was, and he knew she was. But, even if she wasn’t, he would never tell a student that they weren’t smart...with the possible exception of Vincent Verax.

“And if you want to get out of here, going to class is the only means to do it.”

[Lilly Love]

Live let out a heavy huff. "Fine, I'm no idiot but that doesn't mean I like any of this bullshit. I mean, I'm not gonna be a scientist or nothing. Maybe I'll work at a fast food place and just get drunk all the time. That be a fine life by my standards."

Wow, her sarcasm was hitting an impressive level. She was even throwing out a drunk joke, poking fun at her mom which was something she normally wouldn't do but with her brother deciding to throw himself back in her life...

But that wasn't it. No that was not the reason she skipped. She wouldn't let a dumb thing like that affect her. It was just the kids here. Like fucking Odi. God that kid could go swimming in a pool of pirañas. It was the people at school she was avoiding. I mean who would stay home because of family problems. That's just stupid, and as Sean had said, she wasn't stupid apparently.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“You could be a scientist,” Sean informed her, although he couldn’t force her hand towards a particular career. Despite being a medical doctor himself, albeit one devoted to mental health rather than physical health, he didn’t believe that STEM was the be-all-end-all of education, no more than he believed that life sciences were the only noble pursuits.

But he did believe that everyone, irrespective of passion, benefitted from a strong, liberal arts education that included science and critical thinking skills.

The psychiatrist spread his hands briefly, before allowing them to rest on the arms of his chair. “But, for the sake of argument, you choose to work at a fast food restaurant and drink a lot. That doesn’t mean you don’t need to learn.”

Learning was important, and he didn’t believe that merely because he worked at a school.

But he knew that the apathy wasn’t her reasoning, and he would chip away at her excuses, one by one, until she admitted that she was avoiding something or someone, rather than simply having given up on her future so early.

He paused for a moment, before he said, “I’m the advisor for the peer mediators, you know.” That was a hint that she could admit if she had particular trouble with one of her classmates.

[Lilly Love]

Well she definitely didn't want to be a scientist. If there was anything that Live was even slightly interested in that was the arts but no one seemed to care about that as much. Everyone was too upset about her skipping bio and turning in plagiarized English papers to take much notice that she would rather make crafts and do shit with clothes.

But all that was really beside the point. "Learning isn't the problem it's the people trying to teach me. Basically everyone here is an idiot." Definitely not true but she would always try to put blame on others before herself.

"I don't need anyone mediating my life thank you very much. I can handle my business just fine." Which was true if you counted fights as handling your business.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Due to the fact that Hammel had yet to hire a proper guidance counselor, helping students find suitable colleges, trade schools, and career paths fell into Sean’s lap as well. If Live would put forth the effort into her school work such that she could graduate, he would sit down with her to help her find a school. And, if she would set aside her sarcasm long enough to open up to him, he would help her find appropriate art programs. Despite lacking an artistic bent – apart from competence with the piano which he never played for fun, and his interest in certain crafts – he respected it as a field of study and as a passion.

He had opinions about how society had failed students by pushing them towards business, but that was a topic for another day.

“Everyone?” Sean questioned, although he wasn’t offended by the sarcasm or the vitriol. Although he disliked having his intelligence questioned, when it occurred during a blanket statement, he shrugged it off far more easily.

As for her other allegations... “Since your idea of handling your business lands you in my office anyway,” between the fights, skipping class, and blowing off her obligations, “I’d say you could benefit from my involvement. I’m already involved.”

And he would prefer to involve himself productively towards problem-solving than merely to hand out detention.

[Lilly Love]

She gave a shrug, "I said basically everyone. Don't go twisting my words."

Sean had a point. He actually had a lot of points and Live, being a person who was pretty about logic and order was finding it harder and harder to keep dodging questions. She just wanted out of that room but she knew that wouldn't happen until Sean was satisfied with her answers. She had to give him something solid.

"Odi. He's just your every day asshole though and not worth your involvement. Besides the issue there is already come and gone. I was in here last semester for a fight with him anyways, so it's not like the issue hasn't been addressed. He's a douche and I'm over it."

That was more or less true and while Odi didn't have really anything to do with the recent surplus of absences, it was the most solid answer she had given so far. She doubted this would hold but...she just didn't want to talk about her brother. Because if she did she would probably, no definitely, cry. And if there was one thing Live hated doing it was crying in front of others, especially adults.